Sony Pixel Power calrec Sony

Prison journalism: What an abandoned stack of Father's Day cards says about prison

26/09/2023

Prison journalism: What an abandoned stack of Father's Day cards says about prisonThe relationship I enjoyed with my dad was unique among the men where I was incarcerated.

by Prison Journalism Project

26-09-2023 18:02

in Prison Journalism

Father's day letter

Image by Pexels

Terminal Island federal prison rests on a benign 25-acre plot shared with a U.S. Coast Guard station on San Pedro Bay, near Los Angeles. If it were not for the fences topped with razor wire surrounding the facility, the visiting room could be mistaken for a seaside cafe.

--

On a cool Saturday morning in November 1993, I ambled out of my ancient three-tiered housing unit at the prison. The rising sun was burning away remnants of fog. Several hundred other incarcerated men drifted out with me, seeking the warming air. The 60-year-old buildings where we lived were meat lockers.

While I relaxed on a bench, dozens of guys rushed toward the chapel. The throng headed to several tables staffed by two civilian volunteers, with a couple of guards nearby.

The volunteers were women who organized a semi-annual greeting card giveaway. The popular event distributed free cards for holidays of many cultures and in several languages.

--

I strolled in that direction expecting these freebies to be gone - most of them hoarded by the entrepreneurial guys looking to hawk to the tardy. The guards did little to police the frenzy, which brought to mind the great American holiday, Black Friday.

As the supply dwindled, I edged closer. I found the tables littered with empty envelopes, snakes of string and shreds of cardboard. I was about to turn away when the last two men departed. There were half a dozen cards still in a stack.

ALSO READ: Prison journalism: Free Mind

--

I assumed the remainders were religious or foreign-language greetings irrelevant to most of the population, but I walked up anyway.

The abandoned selections were all Father's Day cards. This surprised me. The top two were askew, as if someone had picked them up before dropping them. I picked up the top card, then looked at one of the chapel ladies to thank her.

It hit me why the Father's Day cards were untouched. I had spent less than two years in prison at that point. But even from this limited experience I knew fathers were seldom a topic of conversation, except to denigrate them. Fewer than half of my acquaintances ever spoke of positive relationships with their fathers. I assumed that absent father figures had hurt many of my incarcerated companions.

My peers were reluctant to discuss their family relationships, and I absorbed this boundary of prison life without question.

The lonely Father's Day cards seemed to verify my hunch. I knew this was too sensitive a topic to ask about around the facility, so I inquired of the volunteers: Did you guys just find these cards? Were they lost in a box?

No, they replied simultaneously.

Are these the last of the Father's Day cards?

We usually only bring a few, one replied. This is typical. It has happened before.

I took two of the cards, and left.

ALSO READ: Prison journalism: Life behind bars: Tale of resilience and unexpected bonds

MY DAD AND ME My father was ever-present in my and my siblings' formative years in L.A. during the 1950s and '60s. He frequently took our family of five on camping trips. He taught his three sons how to fish, hunt and track down evidence of ancient Indigenous campsites in the California deserts and mountains.

I remember Dad once found a rare wooden cradleboard wedged between two rocks, likely left more than a century before. He made his discovery known to what was then called the Southwest Museum of the American Indian, which as far as I know has kept the artifact in its collection.

Dad also welcomed his sons into his workshop and encouraged us to handle saws, drills and every other variety of tool. Though gruff and aloof at times, he was our go-to guy and always made himself available.

When I could not decide between college or military service during the Vietnam era, he invited me to sit down in the workshop and discuss my options. We discussed the mandatory military draft, the war and the adventure of college. He added that he would finance any college I wanted. No one in our family had ever gone. I could be the first.

Yet when the time came, in 1967, I volunteered for a four-year enlistment in the U.S. Air Force. Somehow, war felt safer than the unchartered territory of higher education.

Dad beamed at my decision and drove me to the enlistment center at 5 a.m. on my 18th birthday.

ALSO READ: Prison journalism: From maximum to redemption: A journey of change and reflection

FATHERS STILL A FORBIDDEN TOPIC Later in life, I was arrested at age 42, and Dad supported me through this turmoil, both emotionally and financially. No one in our family had ever been arrested, and no one has been since. I told my dad I was innocent, and my dad believed me.

Sometimes he would drive up to four hours to visit me in prison. He visited me until his death at age 95, in 2010, just nine days after my mother passed.

As I started writing this article, 31 years after seeing those lonely cards outside the chapel, I thought I could finally interview other incarcerated individuals about their relationships with their fathers. But I quickly learned that paternal relationships are still a forbidden topic.

My queries on family life - especially fathers - elicited cold stares, and even some aggression. I did, however, find that inmates with extensive experience in self-help groups had developed insights about their paternal relationships, and their relationships with their own children.

I shared a draft of this article with my editor and close friend at the Mule Creek Post, a prison newspaper. He said, Many of us can relate, including me. I
LINK: https://www.thesouthafrican.com/culture/prison-journalism/prison-journ...
See more stories from thesouthafrican

Africa Stories

03/12/2023

Streaming Today: The Super Mario Bros Movie on Netflix - 3 December 2023

Streaming Today: The Super Mario Bros Movie on Netflix - 3 December 2023Looking for something to watch tonight? Check out all the new streaming releases from al...

02/12/2023

Gqeberha: The Empire': Zimkhitha mourns Fundiswa, Mpilo

Gqeberha: The Empire': Zimkhitha mourns Fundiswa, Mpilo Gqeberha: The Empire' viewers are blaming Zimkhitha for accidentally killing her children Fundis...

02/12/2023

What's on TV tonight? Don't miss Couples On The Couch on SABC 3

What's on TV tonight? Don't miss Couples On The Couch on SABC 3Curious about what's on TV tonight? We've got you covered. Scroll down to ensure ...

02/12/2023

RIP Ndoda : Popular Umkhokha: The Curse' character dies?

RIP Ndoda : Popular Umkhokha: The Curse' character dies?Mamzobe and Difa's son, Ndoda Gumede, who recently joined Mzansi Magic's Umkhokha: The Cur...

02/12/2023

[WATCH My Brother's Keeper' character Thuthuka dies

[WATCH My Brother's Keeper' character Thuthuka diesActor Spark Xulu's character, Thuthuka Shabalala has exited Mzansi Magic's latest telenovela...

02/12/2023

UZALO: Friday's episode, 1 December 2023 [VIDEO]

UZALO: Friday's episode, 1 December 2023 [VIDEO]Missed an episode of uzalo? No problem! Just watch all the latest episodes of uzalo soapie right here, don&#...

02/12/2023

Streaming Today: Welcome to Samdal-ri on Netflix - 2 December 2023

Streaming Today: Welcome to Samdal-ri on Netflix - 2 December 2023Looking for something to watch tonight? Check out all the new streaming releases from all your...

02/12/2023

African Proverb of the day: 02 December 2023

African Proverb of the day: 02 December 2023An African proverb reflects and reveals a community's culture that provides a glimpse into its value systems, be...

01/12/2023

The River live updates: Morena's macho posturing takes a dark turn

The River live updates: Morena's macho posturing takes a dark turnWhat's new on The River? Find out HERE! Stay informed on what's trending on your f...

01/12/2023

Tonight on Generations: Nkosiyabo is horrified as he pieces the puzzle together

Tonight on Generations: Nkosiyabo is horrified as he pieces the puzzle togetherKeen to know what's happening on the latest episode of Generations: The Legac...

01/12/2023

Tonight on House of Zwide: Faith tells Neo that Mapula wants a private audience with him

Tonight on House of Zwide: Faith tells Neo that Mapula wants a private audience ...

01/12/2023

Tonight on Muvhango: Rendani moves into her new house

Tonight on Muvhango: Rendani moves into her new houseDon't miss out on the latest drama in Muvhango! Muvhango episodes airs on SABC2 from Mondays to Fridays...

01/12/2023

Tonight on 7de Laan: Denzil reassures Ivy

Tonight on 7de Laan: Denzil reassures IvyDon't miss out on what's happening on tonight's episode of 7de Laan and Catch the latest episode every week...

01/12/2023

SKEEM SAAM: Friday's episode, 1 December 2023 [VIDEO]

SKEEM SAAM: Friday's episode, 1 December 2023 [VIDEO]Missed an episode of Skeem Saam? No problem! Watch all the latest episodes of Skeem Saam soapie right h...

01/12/2023

HOUSE OF ZWIDE: Friday's episode, 1 December 2023 [VIDEO]

HOUSE OF ZWIDE: Friday's episode, 1 December 2023 [VIDEO]Missed an episode of House of Zwide? No problem! Watch all the latest episodes of House of Zwide so...

01/12/2023

SCANDAL: Friday's episode, 1 December 2023 [VIDEO]

SCANDAL: Friday's episode, 1 December 2023 [VIDEO]Missed an episode of Scandal ? No problem! Watch all the latest episodes of Scandal soapie right here. Don...

01/12/2023

My Brother's Keeper: Friday's episode, 1 December 2023 [VIDEO]

My Brother's Keeper: Friday's episode, 1 December 2023 [VIDEO]Missed an episode of My Brother's Keeper? No problem! Watch all the latest episodes of...

01/12/2023

House of Zwide live updates: Faith tells Neo that Mapula wants a private audience with him

House of Zwide live updates: Faith tells Neo that Mapula wants a private audienc...

01/12/2023

GENERATIONS: Friday's episode, 1 December 2023 [VIDEO]

GENERATIONS: Friday's episode, 1 December 2023 [VIDEO]Missed an episode of Generations ? No problem! Watch all the latest episodes of Generations soapie rig...

01/12/2023

Umkhokha: The Curse: Friday's episode, 1 December 2023 [VIDEO]

Umkhokha: The Curse: Friday's episode, 1 December 2023 [VIDEO]Missed an episode of Umkhokha: The Curse'? No problem! Watch all the latest episodes of Um...

01/12/2023

Scandal live updates: Prudence is seriously blindsided by someone she trusted

Scandal live updates: Prudence is seriously blindsided by someone she trustedWhat's new on Scandal? Find out HERE! Stay informed on what's trending on y...

01/12/2023

Generations - The Legacy live updates: Nkosiyabo is horrified as he pieces the puzzle together

Generations - The Legacy live updates: Nkosiyabo is horrified as he pieces the p...

01/12/2023

Muvhango live updates: Rendani moves into her new house

Muvhango live updates: Rendani moves into her new houseWhat's new on Muvhango? Find out HERE! Stay informed on what's trending on your favorite televisi...

01/12/2023

Umkhokha: The Curse Teasers - December 2023

Umkhokha: The Curse Teasers - December 2023Get ready for an exciting month ahead! Catch the episodes of Umkhokha: The Curse airing on Mzansi Magic every Monda...

01/12/2023

Generations: The Legacy Teasers - December 2023

Generations: The Legacy Teasers - December 2023What an entertaining month we have in store. Generations the legacy episodes airs on SABC1 from Mondays to Friday...

01/12/2023

Skeem Saam Teasers - December 2023

Skeem Saam Teasers - December 2023Are you ready for another Skeem Saam rollercoaster ride this month? Skeem Saam airs on SABC1 Mondays to Fridays at 18h30. by ...

01/12/2023

My Brother's Keeper Teasers - December 2023

My Brother's Keeper Teasers - December 2023What an entertaining month we have in store. My Brother's Keeper episodes airs on Mzansi Magic from Mondays t...

01/12/2023

Gqeberha: The Empire Teasers - December 2023

Gqeberha: The Empire Teasers - December 2023What an entertaining month we have in store. Gqeberha: The Empire episodes airs on Mzansi Magic from Mondays to Frid...

01/12/2023

Uzalo soapie teasers: What's happening this December 2023?

Uzalo soapie teasers: What's happening this December 2023?Uzalo continues its fine form this month. Premiere episodes of Uzalo air on SABC1 from Mondays to ...

01/12/2023

Scandal soapie teasers: What's happening this December 2023?

Scandal soapie teasers: What's happening this December 2023?This month is going to be intense in Scandal. Scandal! airs on e.tv Mondays to Fridays at 19h30....

01/12/2023

Africa Fact of the Day: Africans who have sold out O2 ARENA - 1 December 2023

Africa Fact of the Day: Africans who have sold out O2 ARENA - 1 December 2023Africa Fact of the Day features the most wonderful and weird facts about the histor...

01/12/2023

Muvhango soapie teasers: What's happening this December 2023?

Muvhango soapie teasers: What's happening this December 2023?Muvhango is full of twists and exciting drama this month. Muvhango airs on SABC2 from Mondays t...

01/12/2023

Smoke and Mirrors Teasers - December 2023

Smoke and Mirrors Teasers - December 2023What an entertaining month we have in store. Smoke and Mirrors episodes airs on e.tv from Mondays to Fridays at 21h00. ...

01/12/2023

House of Zwide 3 Teasers - December 2023

House of Zwide 3 Teasers - December 2023This month is going to be intense in House of Zwide. Don't plan to miss any episode. Episode airs every weekday from...

01/12/2023

Wow! Legendary R&B singer Joe Thomas coming to SA

Wow! Legendary R&B singer Joe Thomas coming to SA Gathering of R&B music lovers': American legendary R&B singer Joe Thomas is reportedly coming to South Afr...

01/12/2023

Streaming Today: Slow Horses on Disney Plus - 1 December 2023

Streaming Today: Slow Horses on Disney Plus - 1 December 2023Looking for something to watch tonight? Check out all the new streaming releases from all your favo...

01/12/2023

What's on TV tonight? Don't miss Amapiano Awards 2023 on SABC 1

What's on TV tonight? Don't miss Amapiano Awards 2023 on SABC 1Curious about what's on TV tonight? We've got you covered. Scroll down to ensure ...

01/12/2023

Tonight on Scandal: Prudence is seriously blindsided by someone she trusted

Tonight on Scandal: Prudence is seriously blindsided by someone she trustedGet to know what's happening on tonight's episode!. Scandal episodes airs on ...

01/12/2023

Tonight on The River: Morena's macho posturing takes a dark turn

Tonight on The River: Morena's macho posturing takes a dark turnWatch tonight's episode of The River and catch the latest episode every weekday at 20:00...

01/12/2023

Tonight on Skeem Saam: Leeto is finally sentenced and as expected, some are devastated, some are happy

Tonight on Skeem Saam: Leeto is finally sentenced and as expected, some are deva...

01/12/2023

Tonight on Smoke and Mirrors: Tiny learns her nephew is in bed with his boss

Tonight on Smoke and Mirrors: Tiny learns her nephew is in bed with his bossDon't miss out on what's happening tonight on Smoke and Mirrors. Watch lates...

01/12/2023

Tonight on Uzalo: Nomkhosi continues to mourn Gabade's death

Tonight on Uzalo: Nomkhosi continues to mourn Gabade's deathDon't get left behind, catch up on Uzalo now! Episodes of Uzalo air on SABC1 from Mondays to...

01/12/2023

Tonight on Gqeberha: Msimelelo wants to win his family back or die trying

Tonight on Gqeberha: Msimelelo wants to win his family back or die tryingDon't miss tonight's episode of Gqeberha: The Empire, and watch the latest epis...

01/12/2023

Tonight on Umkhokha: The Curse | MaMzobe is about to confess all her sins

Tonight on Umkhokha: The Curse | MaMzobe is about to confess all her sinsDiscover what's in store for tonight's episode! Umkhokha: The Curse airs on M...

01/12/2023

African Proverb of the day: 01 December 2023

African Proverb of the day: 01 December 2023An African proverb reflects and reveals a community's culture that provides a glimpse into its value systems, be...

01/12/2023

Smoke & Mirrors: Thursday's episode, 30 November 2023 [VIDEO]

Smoke & Mirrors: Thursday's episode, 30 November 2023 [VIDEO]Missed an episode of Smoke & Mirrors? No problem! Watch all the latest episodes of Smoke & Mirr...

01/12/2023

NIKIWE: Thursday's episode, 30 November 2023 [VIDEO]

NIKIWE: Thursday's episode, 30 November 2023 [VIDEO]Missed an episode of Nikiwe ? No problem! Watch all the latest episodes of Nikiwe soapie right here. Don...

01/12/2023

Gqeberha: The Empire: Thursday's episode, 30 November 2023 [VIDEO]

Gqeberha: The Empire: Thursday's episode, 30 November 2023 [VIDEO]Missed an episode of Gqeberha: The Empire? No problem! Watch all the latest episodes of Gq...

01/12/2023

Muvhango: Thursday's episode, 30 November 2023 [VIDEO]

Muvhango: Thursday's episode, 30 November 2023 [VIDEO]Missed an episode of Muvhango? No problem! Watch all the latest episodes of Muvhango soapie right here...

01/12/2023

My Brother's Keeper: Thursday's episode, 30 November 2023 [VIDEO]

My Brother's Keeper: Thursday's episode, 30 November 2023 [VIDEO]Missed an episode of My Brother's Keeper? No problem! Watch all the latest episodes...