Intimacy 101: An Intro to 'Sex, Love & goop' with Sex and Relationship Expert Michaela Boehm

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Intimacy 101: An Intro to Sex, Love & goop with Sex and Relationship Expert Michaela BoehmPlay Video

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Netflix Staff

Entertainment

21 October 2021

GlobalUnited States

Gwyneth Paltrow and the team at goop are back with Sex, Love & goop, an eye-opening series that investigates what it means to be truly intimate in a relationship. The six-episode series explores how to express one's deepest fears and desires in addition to accepting those of one's partner. A continuation of goop's mission to help our audience pursue the ineffable power of their own potential, [Sex, Love & goop] is a toolkit for finding more pleasure and connection in our romantic lives, says Paltrow of the show.

To celebrate the series' release, we caught up with Michaela Boehm, a well-known relationship and intimacy expert who appears in the series and has worked with Paltrow and other high-profile celebrities to deepen their own relationships. Our in-depth chat covered everything from the empowering nature of therapy to how to develop better body positivity. So check out the featured clip above to meet the real-life couples brave enough to explore the most intimate parts of themselves in Sex, Love & goop, and then read our exclusive interview with Boehm to learn some helpful tips you can use in your own life.

Sex, Love & goop is an empowering series full of moments of self-discovery. What did you find most rewarding about the project, and what do you hope viewers take away from it?

I really loved the process. Seeing the transformation in the couples and showing possibilities to work with relational challenges in creative and practical ways was very moving as well as rewarding. My hope is that viewers will get access to information, education, and inspiration and through it explore healing and connection in their own relationships.

For many people, sex and pleasure are still topics that are off limits. Why is it so vital to openly discuss what we want? And what can we do to eliminate some of that shame or awkwardness, especially for women?

Considering how important good relationships and fulfilling sex lives are for most of us, we get suprisingly little education on the subject. No one would expect someone to be a musician or an athlete without proper education, training and practice, but somehow when it comes to sex and pleasure-which follow similar mechanics of skill acquisition via the body-we are supposed to magically have all those skills.

Obviously sex is still considered something that stays hidden away and private-and there is much merit to that-but without dialogue and education we can't learn or get better. Being able to communicate one's needs goes beyond the bedroom into all areas of life, and as such is a valuable skill that can be cultivated. Openly expressing our needs in a relationship also creates a chance for a much deeper and more fulfilling connection.

The way to get more comfortable around those subjects is to begin engaging with the topics in a gradual way. Learning new skills and getting educated, and being inspired is a great direction. This is one of the reasons I appreciate the show, because it demonstrates how things can be discussed, learned, and shared in a positive and accepting way. The episodes can also be used as jumping off points for dialogue and conversation with a partner.

As we see in Sex, Love, & goop, this type of therapy isn't just about discovering what we want or reigniting intimacy in a relationship. It also helps individuals become more accepting of themselves, their desires, and their bodies. What is your advice for someone who is afraid or doesn't know where to begin or how to ask for help?

It's entirely normal to feel afraid or confused when entering into a new area of self-discovery. The good news is that just by acknowledging that we want support in that area the first and biggest step has been taken already. From there it becomes increasingly easier to learn and get support.

Negative body image can affect our lives in many ways. What are some steps we can take to counteract that and build a better relationship with our bodies?

One of the simplest and most effective ways is to simply move daily in ways that are gentle and enjoyable. Walks in nature, dancing to a song, swimming, or even just light stretching at home. The important aspect is that it is not an overly demanding activity and as such doesn't create the negative self-talk or failure to keep up that many of us connect with movement.

By engaging in simple motion the natural intelligence of our bodies can come online, which allows for a more positive connection with the body. At the same time this simple -and therefore achievable-habit builds a positive regard. Focusing on how the body feels instead of what the body looks like is a great first step towards acceptance.

Are there any skills or practices that couples can develop and cultivate together to help them gain greater confidence and in turn discover a deeper level of intimacy?

Connection and intimacy are learnable skills. There are many short practices that can be done even within a busy schedule. The simplest practice-which many couples find very hard to do to begin with-is to simply sit together. No phones, no TV, no distractions. I often ask couples to do this by sitting across from each other on a sofa. The key is to just be with each other: looking, smiling, connecting. No logistical discussions, negative reports from the office, or texting. Set a timer for 10 minutes and see if you can give each other undivided positive attention. Giving and receiving positive, undivided attention is the first building block of true intimacy.

Some have a fear or reluctance to be completely open and vulnerable with one's partner. What can we do to combat the stigma surrounding

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