Save This Script, Episode 2
Mark Suszko November 27, 2022
0 Comments
Great videos start with great scripts. What you're going to present to your audience should speak to them in a language they can connect with. Writing a PSA to get kids up and moving? Don't say, Calisthenics are fun! Watch John and Mark transform this script into one that a kid would actually listen to and take notes for your own script-writing. Join John Morley and Mark Suszko in this second episode as they Save This Script!
Great videos start with a great script.
Sometimes, the scripts are not so great.
We're script doctors; come, watch us operate.
In each installment of this series, a writer/producer team is confronted with a creative challenge. The scenario, written in screenplay format, revolves around a typical client management situation that can lead to a problem script.
The problem script itself can then be read; followed by some back-and-forth as the creative team rises to the challenge.
Each installment ends with the finished makeover script being pitched to the client. Brief commentary then further explores the strategies and insights that drove the script make-over.
FADE IN: INT. COUNTY HEALTH DEPARTMENT, PRESIDENTS OFFICE -- DAY President of the county health department, RANDALL, sits across his desk from MARK, who is a principal in Glendower Productions, and sits taking notes. RANDALL The national campaign is providing a budget to develop our own communications, and we want to run a PSA. MARK Does the money come with any guidelines or restrictions? RANDALL Just to support the goal of reducing obesity and improving the health of our kids. MARK Any central theme or positioning language from them? RANDALL We have to use their slogan: Be fit. Dont quit. MARK And they want some local angle? RANDALL Yes, and Ive got it. You know that this countys softball crazy. MARK Sure, I go to the games myself. RANDALL So you know the name Delbert Yazmanski? MARK I win bar bets cause I can even spell it. RANDALL Well, weve GOT him! Hell say anything we want and we can video tape him anywhere we want. MARK Great! And you have clearance for him to be on screen in his Warriors uniform? RANDALL Um... well... The leagues going through some... reorganization. He may not be in a Warriors uniform by the time our PSA gets on the TV. But hes a local boy, so the kids are going to know him as a hero wherever hes playing. MARK Hm, well... A blank slate can be a good thing... sometimes. So, would you like a proposal for both the print and TV work? Its more effective when the campaigns are unified.... RANDALL Our regular ad agency is doing the print. MARK Anything provided by your ad agency, or your national office? A consistent message is stronger. RANDALL (THINKS A MINUTE) Well, national sent a bunch of free video clips of kids riding bikes and just goofing off outdoors, but really, Delberts the way to go, hes a winner and he wants the kids to be winners. MARK Hm. So, has Delbert weighed in on what he wants to say? RANDALL No, but the ad agency sketched out what you might have him say. RANDALL hands MARK a printed page, and Mark begins to scan. (DISSOLVE TO THE AD AGENCYS SCRIPT) INITIAL SCRIPT
(DELBERT): Hi. I'm Delbert Yazmanski, the softball star. I play outfield. When I get up every day, I think about how great it is to practice my skills and work out with a routine of calisthenics. You should, too. It's good for you and it is F U N, FUN! Take it from ME! Gym class is just as important as your other school work, and a healthy body and a healthy mind are a great winning combination. There is no magic potion that makes you a great ball player like me, just hard work, every day. So stay in school and stay FIT in school, because you never know when you might get to become a professional sports player, just like me. So stay fit, and don't quit!
INT. GLENDOWER OFFICE -- DAY Mark, and another company principal, JOHN, are reviewing the client-provided script. JOHN When the words calisthenics are fun pass his lips, credibility with this audience is just gone. MARK Too many words ... smothered in clich sauce. And this winning team thing is just tired. JOHN Even more basic; they said the audience is the couch potato kids. MARK And wouldnt they love to be on a winning team for a change? JOHN These are the last kids to get to picked for any game on the playground. Any association they have with actually playing sports is probably negative. MARK Well... the stuff from their national office isnt classic sports either. Its really Randalls vision of how to use the player thats driving the approach. JOHN Youve got a clue there, in the stuff from the national office. Thinks for a beat, nods MARK Right. Their message isnt: hit a homer, its just to get off your butt and do anything thats not sitting in front of some screen all day. JOHN So its low effort and high fun. Who wouldnt love that? MARK (Frowning) Our client, who expects this to all be wrapped around his big shot ball player. They stare into space. JOHN Ball players like having fun too. MARK And that means...? JOHN Youll just have to read my script. MARK Whatever, just have a rewrite ready for us to pitch in our next meeting and... JOHN Budget is an issue. Yeah; yeah. INT. COUNTY HEALTH DEPARTMENT, PRESIDENTS OFFICE -- DAY Randall sits across his desk from John and Mark, who are well into their pitch. JOHN What specific examples has your national office given of what kids can do to stay fit? RANDALL They talk a lot about just walking, or throwing a Frisbee, or just playing on the swings. Stuff like that. JOHN
So the focus isnt so much on organized sports, but on being active. RANDALL But weve got Delbert, and the kids love him... MARK No question, everybody loves Delbert. Its still about Delbert. JOHN
At the same time, is the o
North America Stories
19/03/2026
How Chris Bolte Builds the Sound of PlayStation Games Chris Bolte '16 is a technical sound designer at Sucker Punch Productions, where he helps create the...
18/03/2026
Newly named chief product officer (CPO), Larissa G rner Meeus will return to Net Insight on May 4.
Larissa G rner Meeus will become CPO of Net Insight on May 4...
18/03/2026
SVG Europe's The Football Summit 2026 explored how the sports broadcasting i...
18/03/2026
The 2026 NAB Show kicks off one month from today and SVG is once again set to cover the show from every angle. SVG's SportsTech@NAB Show Blog is now live - ...
18/03/2026
(L-R) The cast and crew of Dead Lover at The Ray Theater for its premiere at the 2025 Sundance Film Festival. (Photo by Robin Marshall/Shutterstock for Sundan...
18/03/2026
SMPTE Unveils 2026 NAB Show Educational Presentations
Brie Clayton March 18, 2026
0 Comments
SMPTE , the home of media professionals, technologists, a...
18/03/2026
Auditel Ad Campaign Shot on Blackmagic PYXIS 12K
Brie Clayton March 18, 2026
0 Comments
LED wall virtual production blends 12K open gate acquisition w...
18/03/2026
Brainstorm transforms productivity and sustainability with Suite 7 at NAB Show 2...
18/03/2026
Share
Copy link
Facebook
X
Linkedin
Bluesky
Email...
18/03/2026
Share
Copy link
Facebook
X
Linkedin
Bluesky
Email...
18/03/2026
Share
Copy link
Facebook
X
Linkedin
Bluesky
Email...
18/03/2026
Share
Copy link
Facebook
X
Linkedin
Bluesky
Email...
18/03/2026
Share
Copy link
Facebook
X
Linkedin
Bluesky
Email...
18/03/2026
Share
Copy link
Facebook
X
Linkedin
Bluesky
Email...
18/03/2026
SMPTE , the home of media professionals, technologists, and engineers, today unveiled its educational presentations for the 2026 NAB Show. This year SMPTE will ...
18/03/2026
Maxon, maker of powerful, approachable software solutions for creators working in 2D and 3D design, motion graphics, visual effects, gaming, and more, today ann...
18/03/2026
Digital Alert Systems
Preview
2026 NAB Show
April 19 - 22
Booth C3452
At the 2026 NAB Show, Digital Alert Systems will showcase Version 6.0 of its DASDEC ...
18/03/2026
Setplex today announced that it will showcase its complete, fully integrated Zapflex platform for the first time at the 2026 NAB Show, introducing powerful new ...
18/03/2026
COW Jobs: Seeking DP for Low Budget Dramedy - Chicago
Brie Clayton March 17, 2026
0 Comments
Seeking Director of Photography for Low Budget Dramedy Fe...
18/03/2026
COW Jobs: Seeking Gaffer for Low Budget Dramedy - Chicago
Brie Clayton March 17, 2026
0 Comments
Seeking Gaffer for Low Budget Dramedy Feature Film- I...
18/03/2026
COW Jobs: Seeking Location, Sound for Low Budget Dramedy - Chicago
Brie Clayton March 17, 2026
0 Comments
Seeking Location/Sound for Low Budget Dramed...
18/03/2026
COW Jobs: Seeking Child Wrangler for Low Budget Film - Chicago
Brie Clayton March 17, 2026
0 Comments
Seeking Child Wrangler for Low Budget Dramedy Fe...
18/03/2026
Calrec Redefines Broadcast Workflows at NAB 2026 with its Most Powerful Hardware...
18/03/2026
Oscar Nominated Two People Exchanging Saliva Posted with DaVinci Resolve Studio
Brie Clayton March 17, 2026
0 Comments
DaVinci Resolve Studio handle...
18/03/2026
Boston Conservatory Presents Celebrated Musical Satire Urinetown Performances for this Center Stage production will take place at Boston Conservatory Theater ...
18/03/2026
Charlie Puth Joins Switched on Pop at Berklee NYC The Berklee alum spoke with host and Berklee NYC professor Charlie Harding for a live taping, answering audi...
18/03/2026
Back to All News
Preparatevi Alla Terza E Ultima Stagione De La Legge di Lidia ...
18/03/2026
Back to All News
Netflix Drops Teaser and First Look Images for The Chestnut M...
17/03/2026
NASA+'s Rebecca Sirmons and Brittany Brown offer unique look at live streami...
17/03/2026
The transition to IP has fundamentally reshaped professional media infrastructures. Video, audio, and increasingly metadata now circulate as independent, precis...
17/03/2026
Live sports streaming can push every element in your video delivery chain to its limit, exposing every potential weakness in seconds. When the Super Bowl, the O...
17/03/2026
Texas Athletics sought to modernize its media production, enhance fan experience...
17/03/2026
Ikegami USA will demonstrate the latest additions to its wide range of broadcast...
17/03/2026
TNA Wrestling and iHeartMedia announces a new multi-platform collaboration that will integrate iHeartMedia across TNA's premium live events, weekly televisi...
17/03/2026
The goal was to transform Hard Rock Stadium into a global leader in sports and e...
17/03/2026
Spectrum has announced the launch of its new Multiview feature in the Spectrum TV App, giving customers the ability to watch up to four NCAA men's or women&...
17/03/2026
Genius Sports deal also covers data technology, AI, fan engagement, and performance analysis....
17/03/2026
Net Insight is supporting the rollout of a new state-wide centralized operation with Rede Massa, which is an SBT affiliate, the Brazilian regional television ne...
17/03/2026
Featuring audio from practice sessions, qualifying races, and Grand Prix races, the film represents Apple's sports-media ambitions
At Sunday night's Ac...
17/03/2026
Live broadcast has always been one of the most demanding environments in media a...
17/03/2026
DirecTV is introducing several new viewing features, including a multi-screen March Madness Mix channel and an updated Sports Central mobile app hub, ahead of...
17/03/2026
Deltatre has announced a multi-year partnership with ATP Media, the media arm of the ATP Tour, covering broadcast graphics, data, and production across the 2026...
17/03/2026
The Detroit Pistons have announced a third consecutive season partnering with Sc...
17/03/2026
Share
Copy link
Facebook
X
Linkedin
Bluesky
Email...
17/03/2026
Share
Copy link
Facebook
X
Linkedin
Bluesky
Email...
17/03/2026
3D streaming infrastructure provider Miris today announced the launch of a public beta for its new 3D asset streaming platform. Miris is building the infrastruc...
17/03/2026
As media organizations face mounting pressure to produce more content, faster, while maximizing value and operational efficiency, Tedial, a leading provider of ...
17/03/2026
Brainstorm, a leading manufacturer of real-time graphics, augmented and virtual production, is launching the newest version of its platform, Brainstorm Suite 7,...
17/03/2026
Limecraft today announces the release of Limecraft 2026.2, the second platform update in its 2026 release cycle. Limecraft is an AI-powered production platform ...
Save This Script, Episode 2 
