13 December 2016 The winner: How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brussels.
British public challenged for a fourth year by Gold to come up with the best modern Christmas cracker jokes
Puns about Sports Direct, David Cameron and Marmite also got the nation laughing
Twitter entries to the competition keeps gags short and snappy for best Christmas cracker laughs
A joke about the lack of Brussels sprouts in post-Brexit Christmas dinners has been revealed as the funniest gag in a competition to write the best modern Christmas cracker joke, with a fifth of people naming it their favourite.
Puns about the performance of Roy Hodgsons World Cup team, Jeremys Corbyns collapsing cabinet and the hours of Sports Direct workers also made it into the Top 10 list; as voted for by the public as part of a competition by UKTVs comedy channel Gold to find the best new modern Christmas cracker jokes for the fourth year running.
The Top 20 funniest festive jokes for 2016 are revealed:
How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brussels. 20%
What do workers at Sports Direct get for Christmas dinner? About 5 minutes. 19%
How do you recognise a Christmas tree from BHS? All the branches have gone. 17%
I bought my mum Mary Berrys cookbook for Christmas, I tried to get Paul Hollywoods but hed sold out. 14%
Whats David Camerons favourite Christmas song? All I Want For Christmas is EU. 14%
Why has Hillary Clinton asked Santa for a 23-letter alphabet? Because she is sick of F.B.I. 13%
Why didnt Roy Hodgson go to visit Santa at The North Pole? He couldnt get past Iceland. 12%
Why are Jeremy Corbyns Christmas cards on the floor? His cabinet collapsed. 12%
Philip looks out of the window on Christmas Eve: Thats some reindeer he says. The Queen replies: 63 years. Yes, that is a lot. 11%
Whats the difference between the clementine in your Christmas stocking and Donald Trump? Nothing, theyre both a little orange. 10%
What do you get if you cross Donald Trump with a Christmas Carol? O Comb Over Ye Faithful. 10%
Whats the best advice you can give at the UKIP Christmas party? Avoid the punch. 9%
Why did the three wise men only have frankincense and myrrh? Because Team GB took all the gold. 8%
Which parent is likely to do the Christmas shop at Tesco this year? Dad might, Marmite not. 8%
Why cant the England football team play Yahtzee this Christmas? Because they got rid of Allardyce. 8%
I cant get to the chocolates in my advent calendar. Foiled again. 8%
Why is Bob Dylans sleigh so quiet? Because it has Nobel. 7%
Why is everyone filing for divorce and custody of the kids this Christmas? Tis the season to be Jolie. 7%
Who might be cooking Christmas dinner at Number 10 this year? Theresa May. 7%
Why cant Mary Berry eat turkey sandwiches? Paul Hollywood took all the bread. 4%
Amateur comedians and jokesters were challenged to write their own festive funnies for the competition, which were put to an anonymous public vote to reveal the winning gags. The competition was first started in 2013, after a poll revealed that 72% of the nation thought cracker jokes are outdated and seven in ten people found themselves groaning rather than giggling as they pulled their crackers on Christmas Day.
Jokes just missing out on making it into the top 20 included puns about Tim Peakes stocking, Bob Dylans Nobel Peace Prize and Sam Allardyce getting the sack.
So loved is the channels classic comedy schedule in the festive season that it has been once again officially renamed Christmas Gold in the run-up to the big day. The TV channels annual joke competition celebrates its seasonal schedule, which aims to get Brits laughing their way right up to Christmas with best-loved comedy specials such as The Royle Family, Vicar of Dibley and Gavin & Stacey.
Entries were submitted via Twitter and shortlisted by a panel of Christmas Gold judges (led by comedy critic Bruce Dessau), before being put to a public vote of 2,000 British adults. The top six jokes are included within bespoke boxes of Christmas Gold crackers which were presented to this years winners.
Comedy critic Bruce Dessau, who headed up the Gold judging panel, says,
One thing the British will always be good at is finding the funny side to almost any situation, and its no surprise that Brexit featured as one of the dominant topics of this years jokes. But it wasnt all about the EU; there were lots of cracking gags, with this years news about Sports Direct, BHS and Bake Off also featuring in winning one-liners - all of which will hopefully get the Great British public laughing their socks off, as well as being the perfect way to launch the series of Christmas specials on Gold. This may, however, be the last time we see a cracker joke about David Cameron - but he did manage to make it in at number 5 in the year he left number 10.
Steve North, General Manager of Christmas Gold at UKTV, says,
Weve got a brilliant selection of jokes this year - perhaps our best yet! The Christmas Gold competition is a fantastic way to look back at the year, and bring some light-hearted relief to what has been a bit of a rollercoaster for 2016. The British sense of humour is clearly as sharp as ever, and what better way to enjoy a bit festive cheer.
The author of the winning joke, Laura McDon, received £1,500 towards a holiday and a box of Gold Crackers, one of which will contain her own joke.
All of the jokes voted on by the 2,000 British public are original content to the best of Golds knowledge.
Christmas Gold is showing their festive TV favourites every night throughout December
For more information please contact: Kate Bailey kate.bailey@taylorherring.com, Alex Butler AB@taylorherring.com at Taylor Herring 020 8206 5151
Notes to Editors: The Gold poll of 2,000 Brits was carried out to highlight Christmas Golds festive programming
Most recent headlines
06/10/2025
France T l visions, France's leading broadcaster, has received the 2025 EBU ...
04/09/2025
Monumental Sports & Entertainment (MSE), in collaboration with Dalet, has been a...
30/08/2025
WASHINGTON The Federal Communications Commission has adopted its FY 2025 Regulatory Fees Order that establishes the regulatory fee rates for the broadcast stati...
29/08/2025
Australian Red Cross and SBS launch training to help workplaces in the fight aga...
29/08/2025
The National Film and Video Foundation (NFVF), an agency of the Department of Sp...
29/08/2025
L3Harris Technologies has concentrated decades of expertise across the entire enterprise to develop affordable and reliable best-of-breed solutions to rapidly c...
29/08/2025
BURBANK, Calif. The CW Network and the Pac-12 Conference have announced a new media rights deal that will extend their broadcast partnership beginning with the ...
29/08/2025
NEW YORK Gracenote has released a new analysis of its global video dataset showing that the number of FAST channels grew nearly 14% from Q1 2025 and 76% since 2...
29/08/2025
SAN JOSE, Calif. Harmonic has announced a series of improvements to its live sports streaming solution that the company said will improve fan engagement, protec...
29/08/2025
NEW YORK and LOS ANGELES Fox Corp. and YouTube TV last night announced a renewal of the full portfolio of Fox networks, including Fox News Channel, Fox Business...
29/08/2025
Budapest, Hungary, August 2025 - The integration of Microsoft Teams Rooms (MTR) with Lightware's Taurus universal matrix switchers delivers a new level of f...
29/08/2025
Frequency, the engine behind many of the world's best-known streaming television channels, today announced it will launch Studio Live, a next-generation uni...
29/08/2025
In an era when AI and cyber resilience are essential, Scality will mark the 10th anniversary of Scality Day on October 16, 2025 in Paris. This flagship global e...
29/08/2025
Disguise's In-House Creative and Technical Teams Pre-Visualised, Programmed and Delivered Content for the Experience, All Powered by EX 3+
Technology solu...
29/08/2025
Disguise will be demonstrating the latest workflows for TV, film and live events on a number of partner booths at the show
Disguise, the industry-leading tech...
29/08/2025
STOCKHOLM, Sweden Accedo will showcase Accedo Compose, its AI agent-powered modular orchestration layer that assists streaming providers in transitioning client...
29/08/2025
LOS ANGELES Cineverse has announced that it is working with Xperi to bring four of its streaming channels to automobiles for the first time as part of the DTS A...
29/08/2025
DALLAS & ATLANTA Gray Media has announced an agreement with the sports streaming service Victory+ to simulcast 17 Dallas Stars NHL games in 15 television market...
29/08/2025
NEW YORK AND CULVER CITY Comcast NBCUniversal and Amazon have announced new and extended distribution agreements that will expand the content available on their...
29/08/2025
FOOTHILL RANCH, Calif. RED Digital Cinema will feature its Cine-Broadcast Module supporting live broadcast workflows during IBC2025, Sept. 12-15, at the RAI Ams...
29/08/2025
29 Aug 2025
Kyivstar Rings Opening Bell at Nasdaq Marking Landmark Listing and ...
29/08/2025
More than half of all NFL games live on Sky for the first timeFriday 29 August 2025
Sky Sports has announced a new three-year deal with the NFL, extending its ...
29/08/2025
Back to All News
RIV4LRIES: The Trailer of the New Series With Samuele Carrino ...
29/08/2025
Get ready for an inspiring and emotional insight into the world of competitive Irish dancing with My Story: Tomi Champion of the World airing on RT 2 this monda...
29/08/2025
RT has today announced that David McCullagh is to be the new presenter of RT Radio 1's flagship Today programme, which airs every weekday at 10am, replaci...
28/08/2025
By Kristin Feeley, Director, Documentary Film & Artist Programs
If you want to tell untold stories, if you want to give voice to the voiceless, you've got ...
28/08/2025
Directed by Steven Bognar and Julia Reichert, Sundance Institute-supported Amer...
28/08/2025
Corridos have been a cornerstone of M sica Mexicana for generations, telling stories rooted in everyday life. Now, a new chapter is taking shape: motivational c...
28/08/2025
Los corridos han sido un pilar de la M sica Mexicana durante generaciones, contando historias enraizadas en la vida cotidiana. Ahora, un nuevo cap tulo est tom...
28/08/2025
Earlier this month, we promised our Verano Forever party would bring the heat, a...
28/08/2025
L3Harris will provide the Polish F-16V fleet with the Viper Shield electronic warfare system as part of an upgrade program....
28/08/2025
Bilbao, August 26, 2025 - AgileTV, an international television and video technol...
28/08/2025
Ken Wilkinson is an Emmy Awards nominated New York audio engineer who specialises in production sound mixing for film, commercial, episodic and documentary work...
28/08/2025
NEW YORK FuboTV today announced that it will launch Fubo Sports, a skinny bundle that focuses on sports with a subscription price of $56 monthly....
28/08/2025
NEVADA City, Calif. At IBC2025, Sept. 12-15 at the RAI Amsterdam, Telestream will debut its new Global Ingest strategy, introducing a next-generation ingest arc...
28/08/2025
Dr. Rhoda Bernard Releases Groundbreaking Debut Book on Accessible Arts Educatio...
28/08/2025
TAG Video Systems, the leader in software-based IP end-to-end workflow monitoring, deep probing, and real-time visualization, has named Oliver Gappa as Sales Di...
28/08/2025
AI-based voice enhancement will be among a series of innovations making their IBC 2025 debut on the DHD stand B46 in Hall 8 at the RAI Amsterdam Convention Cent...
28/08/2025
Telef nica Servicios Audiovisuales (TSA), the leading system integrator and service provider in the media sector in Spain, with the support of Appear, the globa...
28/08/2025
To fully immerse sailing fans in the world's biggest offshore yacht race, production company, Optical Media turned to LiveU's On-site Production solutio...
28/08/2025
Working with Calrec on its most recent overhaul, radio and television broadcaster, WNED has migrated to a fully IP infrastructure with multiple Type R consoles,...
28/08/2025
Cleeng, the Subscriber Retention Management (SRM ) inventor, has unveiled Cleeng Pro, the first-ever direct-to-consumer (D2C) subscription management platform t...
28/08/2025
Zixi, the industry leader in live broadcast-quality video over IP, today announced that French media distribution platform OKAST has selected Zixi to enable rel...
28/08/2025
Solution offers a streamlined, speaker-free architecture to optimize integration with premium external loudspeakers and advanced loudness metering
Nixer Pro Au...
28/08/2025
Cinegy, the premier provider of software-defined television technology, has announced a strategic partnership with Vision One Touch Film Production Services L.L...
28/08/2025
Telestream, a global leader in media workflow technologies, will debut its new Global Ingest strategy at IBC2025, introducing a next-generation ingest architect...
28/08/2025
Tier 1 operator selects Broadpeak to power high-performance, unified CDN solution across Norway, Sweden and Finland
Broadpeak, a leader in streaming and moneti...
28/08/2025
Leading video software provider, Synamedia, today announced that 24 Frames Digital, one of India's leading live event streaming service providers, has chose...
28/08/2025
Meet VisualOn at IBC2025: See What's Next in AI-Powered Video Streaming Join VisualOn at IBC2025 and discover how our AI-driven Optimizer and advanced media...
13 December 2016 The winner: How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brussels.
