13 December 2016 The winner: How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brussels.British public challenged for a fourth year by Gold to come up with the best modern Christmas cracker jokes
Puns about Sports Direct, David Cameron and Marmite also got the nation laughing
Twitter entries to the competition keeps gags short and snappy for best Christmas cracker laughs
A joke about the lack of Brussels sprouts in post-Brexit Christmas dinners has been revealed as the funniest gag in a competition to write the best modern Christmas cracker joke, with a fifth of people naming it their favourite.
Puns about the performance of Roy Hodgsons World Cup team, Jeremys Corbyns collapsing cabinet and the hours of Sports Direct workers also made it into the Top 10 list; as voted for by the public as part of a competition by UKTVs comedy channel Gold to find the best new modern Christmas cracker jokes for the fourth year running.
The Top 20 funniest festive jokes for 2016 are revealed:
How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brussels. 20%
What do workers at Sports Direct get for Christmas dinner? About 5 minutes. 19%
How do you recognise a Christmas tree from BHS? All the branches have gone. 17%
I bought my mum Mary Berrys cookbook for Christmas, I tried to get Paul Hollywoods but hed sold out. 14%
Whats David Camerons favourite Christmas song? All I Want For Christmas is EU. 14%
Why has Hillary Clinton asked Santa for a 23-letter alphabet? Because she is sick of F.B.I. 13%
Why didnt Roy Hodgson go to visit Santa at The North Pole? He couldnt get past Iceland. 12%
Why are Jeremy Corbyns Christmas cards on the floor? His cabinet collapsed. 12%
Philip looks out of the window on Christmas Eve: Thats some reindeer he says. The Queen replies: 63 years. Yes, that is a lot. 11%
Whats the difference between the clementine in your Christmas stocking and Donald Trump? Nothing, theyre both a little orange. 10%
What do you get if you cross Donald Trump with a Christmas Carol? O Comb Over Ye Faithful. 10%
Whats the best advice you can give at the UKIP Christmas party? Avoid the punch. 9%
Why did the three wise men only have frankincense and myrrh? Because Team GB took all the gold. 8%
Which parent is likely to do the Christmas shop at Tesco this year? Dad might, Marmite not. 8%
Why cant the England football team play Yahtzee this Christmas? Because they got rid of Allardyce. 8%
I cant get to the chocolates in my advent calendar. Foiled again. 8%
Why is Bob Dylans sleigh so quiet? Because it has Nobel. 7%
Why is everyone filing for divorce and custody of the kids this Christmas? Tis the season to be Jolie. 7%
Who might be cooking Christmas dinner at Number 10 this year? Theresa May. 7%
Why cant Mary Berry eat turkey sandwiches? Paul Hollywood took all the bread. 4%
Amateur comedians and jokesters were challenged to write their own festive funnies for the competition, which were put to an anonymous public vote to reveal the winning gags. The competition was first started in 2013, after a poll revealed that 72% of the nation thought cracker jokes are outdated and seven in ten people found themselves groaning rather than giggling as they pulled their crackers on Christmas Day.
Jokes just missing out on making it into the top 20 included puns about Tim Peakes stocking, Bob Dylans Nobel Peace Prize and Sam Allardyce getting the sack.
So loved is the channels classic comedy schedule in the festive season that it has been once again officially renamed Christmas Gold in the run-up to the big day. The TV channels annual joke competition celebrates its seasonal schedule, which aims to get Brits laughing their way right up to Christmas with best-loved comedy specials such as The Royle Family, Vicar of Dibley and Gavin & Stacey.
Entries were submitted via Twitter and shortlisted by a panel of Christmas Gold judges (led by comedy critic Bruce Dessau), before being put to a public vote of 2,000 British adults. The top six jokes are included within bespoke boxes of Christmas Gold crackers which were presented to this years winners.
Comedy critic Bruce Dessau, who headed up the Gold judging panel, says,
One thing the British will always be good at is finding the funny side to almost any situation, and its no surprise that Brexit featured as one of the dominant topics of this years jokes. But it wasnt all about the EU; there were lots of cracking gags, with this years news about Sports Direct, BHS and Bake Off also featuring in winning one-liners - all of which will hopefully get the Great British public laughing their socks off, as well as being the perfect way to launch the series of Christmas specials on Gold. This may, however, be the last time we see a cracker joke about David Cameron - but he did manage to make it in at number 5 in the year he left number 10.
Steve North, General Manager of Christmas Gold at UKTV, says,
Weve got a brilliant selection of jokes this year - perhaps our best yet! The Christmas Gold competition is a fantastic way to look back at the year, and bring some light-hearted relief to what has been a bit of a rollercoaster for 2016. The British sense of humour is clearly as sharp as ever, and what better way to enjoy a bit festive cheer.
The author of the winning joke, Laura McDon, received £1,500 towards a holiday and a box of Gold Crackers, one of which will contain her own joke.
All of the jokes voted on by the 2,000 British public are original content to the best of Golds knowledge.
Christmas Gold is showing their festive TV favourites every night throughout December
For more information please contact: Kate Bailey kate.bailey@taylorherring.com, Alex Butler AB@taylorherring.com at Taylor Herring 020 8206 5151
Notes to Editors: The Gold poll of 2,000 Brits was carried out to highlight Christmas Golds festive programming
