The winning joke: Why was Theresa May sacked as Nativity Manager? She couldnt run a stable government.TV channel Gold challenged British public for fifth year to come up with the best topical cracker jokes this Christmas
Puns about Donald Trump, Southern Rail and Stormzy also got nation giggling
Twitter entries to the competition keep gags short and sweet for best Christmas cracker laughs
Tuesday 12 December A joke about British Prime Minister Theresa Mays stable government has been unveiled as the winner of a national competition to write the best modern Christmas cracker joke.
Festive puns referring to other topical moments in 2017s news agenda, such as Ryanairs recent piloting problems, Brexit, The Kardashians and political blunders from world leaders including Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump, also made it into the top 20 list of gags. TV channel Gold challenged the British public to come up with the best topical and modern Christmas cracker jokes - which were voted for by the British public - for the comedy channels annual festive competition, which is now in its fifth year.
The Top 20 funniest festive jokes for 2017 are revealed as:
Why was Theresa May sacked as Nativity Manager? She couldnt run a stable government
Why dont Southern Rail train guards share Advent Calendars? They want to open the doors themselves
Whats the difference between Ryanair and Santa? Santa flies at least once a year
Kim Jong Un will play Santa this year in the Souths annual pantomime. He said he fancied a Korea change
Why did Donald Trump continuously decorate the Christmas tree? Because people kept saying moron to him
Why was the planned Ryanair TV documentary scrapped? They were unable to air a pilot
Which TV Christmas special is being filmed in Brussels this year? Deal or No Deal
Theresa May has asked Santa for a home makeover this year. First thing on the list was a new Cabinet
What did Bruce Forsyth say when the Christmas pheasant repeated on him? Good game, good game
Why did Jeremy Corbyn ask people not to eat sprouts on Christmas day? He wants to give peas a chance
Which supermarket did best in the Holy Land? Oh Lidl, crown of Bethlehem
Why did the Irishman put Khloe, Kim and Kourtney Kardashian in his living room at Xmas? He wanted an artificial tree
Where does Jeremy Corbyn hang his Christmas stocking? On the far left
Why are there only 11 days of Christmas this year? Because the Three French Hens got stuck at border control
Why was Theresa May asked to play the donkey in this years Nativity? They needed someone who was a little horse
How do you ruin Stormzys Christmas? Criticise his wrapping
Whats Donald Trumps favourite flavour Quality Street? Covfefe Cream
What keeps Spain from buying Christmas socks that match? Matalan separatists
The Queens Christmas message has been cancelled this year as theres no more Monarch
Whats the difference between David Davis and Santa Claus? Santa always delivers
Wannabe comedians and jovial jokesters were challenged to post their original festive gags on Twitter for the competition, which were then put to an anonymous public vote to reveal the winning jokes. First launched five years ago, the competition was created to brighten up the festive season after it was revealed that nearly three quarters of Brits thought that traditional cracker jokes were in need of a makeover.
The channel has become synonymous with classic festive comedy and has been officially renamed Christmas Gold in the run up to the big day. The annual joke competition celebrates the channels seasonal TV scheduling, which includes special episodes of Britains best loved comedies such as Only Fools and Horses, The Royle Family and Gavin & Stacey.
Joke entries were submitted to Gold via Twitter and shortlisted by a panel of judges (led by comedy critic Bruce Dessau), before being put to a public vote of 2,000 British adults. The top six jokes are included within bespoke boxes of Christmas Gold crackers, which were presented to this years winners.
Comedy critic Bruce Dessau, who headed up the Gold judging panel, says,
In a world that seems to have turned upside down in recent years, there is something wonderfully reassuring about the fact that people have still retained their sense of humour and come up with some inspired gags for this years Gold Christmas Crackers competition. The subjects of the jokes that were entered reflects the issues that concern the country today; from Brexit and Donald Trump to Bruce Forsyth and Southern Rail, people have still been able to find the funny side.
Gerald Casey, Channel Director of Christmas Gold at UKTV, says,
The festive period brings about a lot of time for reflection on the year thats gone by and with so many tumultuous events happening around the world in 2017, its good to see that the famous British wit is still sharp as ever.
The author of the winning joke, Samuel Williams, received £1,500 towards a holiday and a box of bespoke Gold Christmas Crackers, one of which will contain his own gag.
All of the jokes voted on by the 2,000 British public are original content to the best of Golds knowledge.
Christmas Gold is showing their festive TV favourites every night throughout December
Sky 110, Virgin 124, BT and TalkTalk 408
On demand on Sky, Virgin and Now TV
For more information visit www.goldtv.co.uk
@GoldTVChannel / #GoldCrackers
Further information please contact Alex Butler
AB@taylorherring.com
Taylor Herring PR / 0208 2065151
Notes to Editors: The Gold poll of 2,000 Brits was carried out to highlight Christmas Golds festive programming which shows festive TV favourites every evening in the run up to Christmas.
The survey was carried out on behalf of Gold by OnePoll in November 2017. 2,000 British adults picked their top five favourite jokes from the shortlist judged by a panel of Go
