Sony Pixel Power calrec Sony

Save This Script, Episode 3

30/11/2022

Save This Script, Episode 3

Mark Suszko November 29, 2022

0 Comments

In this episode, the Script Doctors' patient is a :30 TV spot intended to raise funds for an academic institution. The diagnosis is obesity, caused by passive language and lack of focus. So John and Mark trim the fat to yield a lean and healthy sales message, by applying techniques and idea-starters from John's book, Scriptwriting for High-Impact Videos.

Great videos start with a great script.

Sometimes, the scripts aren't so great.

We're script doctors; come, watch us operate.

In each installment of this series, a writer/producer team is confronted with a creative challenge. The scenario, written in screenplay format, revolves around a typical client management situation that can lead to a problem script.

The problem script itself can then be read, followed by some back-and-forth as the creative team rises to the challenge.

Each installment ends with the finished makeover script being pitched to the client. Brief commentary then further explores the strategies and insights that drove the script make-over.

FADE IN: INT. WELLINGTON TECH, ADMINISTRATIVE OFFICES - DAY Director of Materials Research, WAYNE, sits across his desk from MARK, who is a principal in Glendower Productions, and sits taking notes. MARK To raise funds for an institution, TV advertising is usually considered to be too broad. WAYNE But this is a college town. MARK So its strictly a local buy? WAYNE A gift really. The station owner is a donor. MARK I imagine some donors arent local. WAYNE Most arent local. So they see the ad on our website and YouTube, with an email pushing the link out to them. MARK Nice. Stressing its been on broadcast TV strengthens credibility. WAYNE And its going to run during every football and basketball game. MARK Who do you hope to persuade with this ad? WAYNE Largely alumni. MARK Whats in it for them? WAYNE Its the future. Nanotechnology may save your life some day. MARK Anything more ... immediate? WAYNE Breadth of research: In addition to nanotechnology weve making advances in quantum-state piezoelectric ceramics, substrate admixtures, and plasma technologies ... MARK How about right now? What lights up a donor, the minute he or she gives? WAYNE Well ... When they get a load of the lab, I see some light bulbs turn on. MARK You mentioned alumni and placement in sports programming. WAYNE School spirit. Sure. Everyone likes to see their alma mater win recognition. MARK Any guidelines for your ad? Wayne hands some paper to Mark. WAYNE Were not scriptwriters, but a lot of work has gone into this background section from grant proposals weve been submitting. We thought it could be the basis for a script, but we are having trouble shortening it, without leaving anything out. Dissolve to the proposal background section. Wellington Tech has long sought a new facility to expand the search for meta-materials of discrete and exciting new capabilities, for use in the fields of advanced computation integrated circuit device design, and with the generous support of WTI Alumnae, that search has a new locus of operation, in the recently-christened Eugenia Flatbush-Hagenbottom Center for Advanced Materials Research. (Hereafter known as the EFHCAMR)

EFHCAMR will, it is hoped, become what is generally accepted within the materials science community at large as the pre-eminent facility in the country for research into the possibilities presented by the class of substances known as meta-materials , to include, but not be limited to, such materials as Carbon Nano-tubing and Quantum-state Piezoelectric ceramics, and perhaps other breakthrough substances or admixtures, as yet unknown or unrecognized in peer-reviewed journals.

While the EFHCAMR is operational and already staffed, there is, it has become self-evident, some need for additional funding to acquire additional test and measuring equipment pursuant to specific research goals on projects now being conducted by Principal Investigators. The costs of these additional mechanisms and devices is non-trivial, and while the Institute as a whole has every wish for the success of this program's goals and objectives, additional contributions from the general fund are not foreseen as becoming available in the near time frame. As an alternative, we look to the continued generosity of Wellington Alumnae to appreciate the need for this program and to help us advance these researches with a commitment of their own financial sponsorship, commensurate to that financial need. Our Development Office will most gladly entertain any such offering.

INT. GLENDOWER OFFICE -- DAY

Mark, and another company principal, JOHN, are reviewing the client-provided source material.

JOHN

Any telegenic types there?

MARK

There is a reason theyve chosen to lock themselves in a lab, away from humanity.

JOHN

So, a professional voice then. Can we have the pro walk and talk through the lab?

MARK

I dont think so this time. Budget issues. But we can afford a day to shoot b roll, and theres some real visually interesting stuff there.

JOHN

So what are we selling?

MARK

Be true to your school. Its all about seeing your schools name in the news and your name associated. Feel like you were smart enough to buy Apple stock in 1980, if you were alive then.

JOHN

Our client said all that?

MARK

No. Hes all mission-focused on the miracles they may discover some day, and the fact they built an entire lab without a budget to stock it. Eggheads! But he says donors light up when they see the lab.

JOHN

Do they have open-house days for donors?

MARK

Yep. I even saw some of the welcome donors signs they put out.

JOHN

Is there a high roller we can feature; who could be there when we shoot b roll?

MARK

A Mrs. Eugenia Flatbush Hagenbottom has been generous enough that her name is now on one
LINK: https://creativecow.net/save-this-script-episode-3/...
See more stories from creativecow

North America Stories

03/02/2023

DirecTV Names Drew Groner Senior VP, Head of Agency and Client Partnerships

DirecTV said it named Drew Groner as senior VP, head of agency and client partnerships....

03/02/2023

Cowgirl Channel Comes Out of the Chute on Dish, Sling TV

Rural Media Group, owner of The Cowboy Channel, is adding The Cowgirl Channel to its stable....

03/02/2023

LoopMe Names Lisa Coffey Global Chief Revenue Officer

LoopMe said it hired Lisa Coffey as global chief revenue officer....

03/02/2023

Fox Renews The Cleaning Lady'

Fox has ordered season three of drama The Cleaning Lady. Jeannine Renshaw has joined the show, about a surgeon who finds an entirely new line of work after land...

03/02/2023

CBS-FuboTV Flap Adds to Strains With Affiliates, Analyst Says

The blackout of CBS affiliates on FuboTV reflects the increasing tension between broadcast networks and their affiliates as TV pivots to streaming....

03/02/2023

Laila Ali Hosts Branded Content for Ancestry on History Channel

Boxer Laila Ali, daughter of Muhammad Ali, is hosting a branded content series created by A+E Networks for Ancestry that is airing on History Channel....

03/02/2023

NAB Says FCC Should Wrap Up Overdue 2018 Regulatory Review ASAP

The National Association of Broadcasters is suggesting the FCC is putting the 2018 quadrennial review cart before the 2022 quadrennial horse, asking the agency ...

03/02/2023

Atmosphere Becomes Out-Of-Home Streamer for TMB Video Content

Atmosphere, which streams TV content to restaurants, bars and other businesses, said it signed a deal to stream content from TMB to its customers, effective imm...

03/02/2023

Batman Drama Pennyworth' Ends on HBO Max

Drama Pennyworth: The Origin of Batman's Butler will not see season four on HBO Max. The show launched on Epix and moved to HBO Max for season three, which ...

03/02/2023

Accedo One Adds Vizio Support for the U.S.

STOCKHOLM Accedo has added Vizio to the stack of supported platforms for its cloud-based SaaS video platform, Accedo One. The first customer deployed on Vizio&#...

03/02/2023

Forrester: Global Tech Spend to Hit $4.4T In 2023

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. Despite worries about the global economic outlook for 2023, Forrester's Global Tech Market Forecast, 2022 To 2027, is predicting that the g...

03/02/2023

MASV Introduces New Integration with Seagate Lyve Cloud

OTTAWA, Canada Media file transfer provider MASV has announced a new integration with Seagate Lyve Cloud, an object storage solution for mass data....

03/02/2023

The Academy Software Foundation Announces Open Source Forum 2023

The Academy Software Foundation Announces Open Source Forum 2023 Brie Clayton February 2, 2023 0 Comments The Academy Software Foundation (ASWF) will h...

03/02/2023

Sony Electronics Announces Two 4K IP-Based Pan-Tilt-Zoom Cameras Featuring PTZ Auto Framing with AI Analytics

Sony Electronics Announces Two 4K IP-Based Pan-Tilt-Zoom Cameras Featuring PTZ A...

03/02/2023

Steve Yedlin, ASC, lenses Glass Onion: A Knives Out Story with ZEISS Supreme Primes

Steve Yedlin, ASC, lenses Glass Onion: A Knives Out Story with ZEISS Supreme Pri...

03/02/2023

Wool E. Bull Wants to Share Wellness Tips with Your School, For Free!

Who better to inspire wellness in area elementary school children than Wool E. Bull? The iconic Durham Bulls mascot wants to come to your school to share a FRE...

03/02/2023

Atomos Official Provider for On-board Monitoring and Recording at the Sundance Film Festival 2023

The Sundance Film Festival, which took place January 19-29 in person and online,...

03/02/2023

Roland Axelsson to stand down from Intinor board to focus on product and market growth

Intinor, Sweden's leading developer of products and solutions for high quali...

02/02/2023

Vaddio s IntelliSHOT-M Wins Best of Show at ISE 2023

Vaddio s IntelliSHOT-M Wins Best of Show at ISE 2023 Posted on 2/2/2023 12:00:00 AM by Vaddio Team Vaddio's IntelliSHOT-M wins Best of Show at ISE 2023...

02/02/2023

Release Rundown: Two 2023 Festival Alums Go Wide

A poster for a missing young Native woman hangs in a Montana town, in this still from Murder in Big Horn. (Photo by Jeff Hutchens/Courtesy of Showtime and the...

02/02/2023

Validating a New Standard That Passes the Harshest Tests

An emergency radio solution introduced by L3Harris in 2021 has achieved a key industry standard, underscoring its ability to perform at the highest level under ...

02/02/2023

L3Harris Named Among FORTUNE's Most Admired Companies of 2023

Highlights: Earned high marks for innovation, social responsibility and financial soundness Has received FORTUNE recognition every year since company's f...

02/02/2023

L3Harris is helping the British Army prepare for conflicts in the Urban Electromagnetic Environment

There's nothing quite like wrapping one's hands around the steering whee...

02/02/2023

Registration for the 2023 GoPro Mountain Games is LIVE

The time has come! The 2023 GoPro Mountain Games event registration is now LIVE. Sign up today to be a part of one of the country's largest celebrations of ...

02/02/2023

HERO11 Black Mini Firmware Update Brings Pro 3.5mm Mic Adapter Support + More

Firmware update v2.10 is now available for HERO11 Black Mini. This update brings Pro 3.5mm Mic Adapter support to our most durable action camera to date along w...

02/02/2023

Sky New Zealand Taps Lawo for New IP Audio System

AUCKLAND, N.Z. Lawo and system integrator Professional Audio & Television (PAT) have announced that they supplied and deployed a Lawo mc 56 48 fader production ...

02/02/2023

Friend MTS Names Shane McCarthy Its CEO

LONDON Friend MTS has appointed Shane McCarthy as chief executive officer (CEO) with the goal of driving growth across all markets and growing its list of custo...

02/02/2023

Whats Next for the ATSC 3.0 Transition?

Up until last week, all of the major parties involved in the transition from ATSC 1.0 to 3.0 appeared to be on the same page. Advocates touted the continuing pr...

02/02/2023

Display TechWhat's Behind the Glass

LAS VEGAS This year's edition of CES was vastly different from a quarter-century ago. Back then, televisions were just breaking free from low-resolution cat...

02/02/2023

EchoStar Begins Construction of Low-Orbit Global S-band Satellite Network

DENVER EchoStar Corporation has announced an agreement with Astro Digital, a designer, manufacturer and operator of small satellite systems, for the constructio...

02/02/2023

VITEC's openGear-first 4K/multichannel HD encoder

VITEC's openGear-first 4K/multichannel HD encoder Brie Clayton February 2, 2023 0 Comments VITEC's Diamond+ OG card, which made its EMEA debut ...

02/02/2023

InSync marks major milestone with gold standard attention to detail

InSync marks major milestone with gold standard attention to detail Brie Clayton February 2, 2023 0 Comments 20th anniversary sees unprecedented qualit...

02/02/2023

Goldcrest Post Prepares Cat Person for Sundance Premiere

Goldcrest Post Prepares Cat Person for Sundance Premiere Brie Clayton February 2, 2023 0 Comments Goldcrest Post helped to prepare Cat Person for its...

02/02/2023

Berklee's Signature Series Presents Gumbo Stories: A Black History Celebration Concert

Berklee's Signature Series Presents Gumbo Stories: A Black History Celebrati...

02/02/2023

Berklee and Electronic Arts Announce Next Gen Scholarship Program

Berklee and Electronic Arts Announce Next Gen Scholarship Program The new partnership will establish an annual scholarship and mentorship program. By Tori D...

02/02/2023

Claudia Brant Named 2023 Herb Alpert Visiting Artist for Berklee's Songwriting Department

Claudia Brant Named 2023 Herb Alpert Visiting Artist for Berklee's Songwriti...

02/02/2023

Restore Deleted Audio in Adobe Premiere Pro

Restore Deleted Audio in Adobe Premiere Pro Colin Smith February 1, 2023 0 Comments This tutorial shows you how to use Match Frame to find a deleted au...

02/02/2023

Gravity Media Expands its Talented USA Team with the Appointment of Jessica Monterrosa as Operation Manager

Gravity Media Expands its Talented USA Team with the Appointment of Jessica Mont...

02/02/2023

OKC Film Office launches to help spur growth in city's film industry

OKC Film Office launches to help spur growth in city's film industry Brie Clayton February 1, 2023 0 Comments The Oklahoma City Office of Film and ...

02/02/2023

Adobe Lightroom Brings Professional Photo Editing to Samsung Galaxy S23 Series

Adobe Lightroom Brings Professional Photo Editing to Samsung Galaxy S23 Series Brie Clayton February 1, 2023 0 Comments Today, Adobe announced that Sam...

02/02/2023

WRAL News Photogs Place in NPPA Quarterly Clip Contest

Two WRAL-TV News Photographers recently placed in the National Press Photographers Association's Quarterly Clip Contest. Lauren DesArmo and Sean Braswell ea...

02/02/2023

Netflix Adds Spatial Audio to its Premium Service

Netflix announced today that in addition to the 4K HDR titles it makes available to its Premium subscribers, it is now adding spatial audio, which will be avail...

02/02/2023

Large Station Groups Pull CBS Affiliates from FuboTV

NEW YORK In a notable example of the growing tensions between national broadcast networks and local station groups (opens in new tab), a number of major station...

02/02/2023

Tubi Adds 14 Warner Bros. Discovery FAST Channels

SAN FRANCISCO The free streaming service Tubi has inked a massive content deal with Warner Bros. Discovery that will add 14 WB branded FAST channels and over 22...

02/02/2023

Marshall Broadcasting Backs Tegna Deal

WASHINGTON, D.C. Pluria Marshall Jr., the CEO of Marshall Broadcasting, has sent a letter to FCC chair Jessica Rosenworcel backing Standard General's propos...

02/02/2023

Churn: Nine in Ten Media Subs Thinking of Canceling

JERICO, N.Y. As media companies worry about the possibility of an upcoming recession and the problems that might create for their ad revenue in 2023, a new surv...

02/02/2023

Matthews Introduces Gatorbuddy

Burbank, California: Matthews Studio Equipment brings another smarter support solution to photography and video shoots. New Gatorbuddy is a professional tool t...

02/02/2023

Super Bowl LVII: Comcast Will Be First to Air 4K Coverage of The Big Game' in Dolby Vision HDR

Super Bowl LVII: Comcast Will Be First to Air 4K Coverage of The Big Game in Dol...

02/02/2023

SVG College Summit 2023 Returns to Atlanta, May 31-June 1: Registration Now Open!

SVG College Summit 2023 Returns to Atlanta, May 31-June 1: Registration Now Open...

02/02/2023

SVG College Sports Media Awards 2023: New Divisional Splits Offer More Opportunities to Win!

SVG College Sports Media Awards 2023: New Divisional Splits Offer More Opportuni...