Prison Journalism: When your time in prison gets hard

Prison Journalism: When your time in prison gets hardFawaaz Adendorff was incarcerated in Pollsmoor Correctional Centre and participated in a Restorative Justice programme while behind bars.

by Fawaaz Adendorff

03-05-2024 09:48

in Prison Journalism

Prison

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Waking up in the morning is like a nightmare, opening your eyes to four dark brown cold walls and the smell of strong cleaning chemicals. The annoying sound of keys and traumatized voices from all directions gave me goosebumps all over my body. Belonging to my house and own bed, what went through my mind was just useless to me because my hands were tied and I couldn't do anything more but to follow the rules of the prison system. It was a difficult feeling that no man can explain. It took a while for me to accept the fact that I'm in prison and I had to understand and control my emotions.

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The regrets My life felt heavy because I failed my family to please my friends, and now my choices made my family suffer because of my absence and being behind bars, blaming myself and hating the fact that I've hurt so many people in my life by making such a bad choice.

Reputation fall I've noticed since I've done my sentence for what I've done, in my community was one of the worst things because somehow all the people in the community looked at me with a different perspective. I wasn't trusted around certain people's children, and most of my friends and family blocked me from their lives because I became a threat to their lives. I've lost everyone in my family's trust; my neighbours started distancing themselves from me because I've now got a bad record on my name. Most of the people that didn't know my previous life found out who I was, and it was difficult because now more people disliked me for a simple choice.

My life was like a curse; nothing felt like it could fall into place. Day by day, just sitting indoors under house arrest and probation, unemployed and couldn't find work to feed my family because of a criminal record, and it made me learn to respect my time around my family and while I can still be a positive impact on the lives of the young, high-risk youth in my community and surrounding areas.

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DISCLAIMER: Submission published as received

Should you wish to assist in the rehabilitation of former inmates and help put money into the pockets of those who have struggled to earn a living during and after incarceration, click HERE

This project in collaboration with Restore currently works with formerly incarcerated young men in the communities.

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