At ABCs upfront presentation, Jimmy Kimmel again bit the hand that feeds him by ripping into the TV business and the advertising world.
Kimmel signed a new three-year deal with ABC, but when he was done, new ABC Entertainment president Channing Dungey joked that she was wondering if maybe the deal wasnt closed.
Heres what he had to say.
Its so good to be here again. Isnt it?
This is the 14th time Ive been here at the upfront in New York. I have to admit Ive actually started to look forward to this. ABC has become like a family to me. This is kind of our family reunion every year. Wheres Uncle Paul? Oh thats right. I forgot. I feel bad for Paul Lee. Hes a very smart guy and you hate to see anyone, especially a British person, lose his dental plan.
Related: Upfronts 2016: Diversity Works, Says ABC's Dungey in Her First Upfront Spiel
[Lees replacement] Channing Dungey is the first African American female network president ever to pick up a show about a talking dog.
I dont know if youre familiar with Channings background. She began her career working as a story editor for Steven Seagals film company where she was so successful she was able to get people to go see movies starring Steven Seagal.
How are you guys holding up. Was it a long day yesterday? Fucking NBC. Did they mention they have the Olympics? We dont have the Olympics this summer. We have BattleBots this summer.
Last time NBC had the Olympics, Bob Costas got pink eye. Rumor has it theyre planning to give him the Zika virus.
NBCUniversal combined all their networks into one mammoth four and a half hour presentation called NBC F U yesterday. Im glad they combined them. Theres too many. Its crazy. Do Crackle and Vox and Vevo really needs to have upfronts? These arent networks. These are sound effects when Batman crunches a bad guy.
And really, do you guys learn anything from these presentations? Lets call this what it is. Its a Ted Talk where you leave dumber than when you got there.
ABC is the most diverse network. Why? Ill tell you why. Because the other networks are terrible racists. ABC embraced diversity like no other network, which is why Im so proud to announce this years most exciting new drama Gay Black Doctor Cop. You havent seen them yet, but weve got new comedies. Weve got Downward Dog, which as I mentioned is a show about a talking dog. Were just fucking with you now, right? Downward Dog is actually a yoga position where you put your hands and feet on the floor and your butt up in the air. Kind of like what were asking you guys to do this week.
This is interesting. To get the mutt to perform, the trainer had to reward him with little pieces of bacon, which is actually the same way they got John Travolta to do his lines on The People v. O.J. Simpson.
Fox made a very bold move this years. They became the first network to stop reporting live plus same day ratings. And its a good idea, but I feel like the argument would carry more weight if they werent in last place. Its like the Knicks announcing theyre no longer going to use the final score to determine the outcome. It doesnt reflect the reality of the modern basketball game.
A lot of networks arent looking at these live same day ratings. Our network and NBC object to the term same day since so many of our viewers watch our shows on demand. CBS objects to the term live because so many of their viewers arent.
One of the trends is that millennials are leaving the networks in droves, which I guess is a problem. Are we really going to let these vaping, Snapchatting, music stealing little fuckers determine how we do business?
Here at ABC 18 to 49 isnt just our target demo, its the number of people who watched Wicked City last season.
This is expected to be a very big week spending wise. Theyre saying that the network TV business is making a comeback. All of those people are network executives, but they are saying it. The good news is that with all of the many options out there traditional television is still king. 2016 is an exciting time in broadcast television in the same way that 1937 was an exciting time to be on the Hindenburg.
But we do have room for improvement. We will admit that many viewers are upset because there are so many commercials now. Theres been a lot of talk about heavier ad loads, which is by far the most disgusting thing Ive heard you people say all week.
YouTube now has these six-second bumper ads that you cannot skip. Google calls the new ads a quick and fun format. Nice try Google. Go back to work drawing a fun logo for National Waffle Day you dickheads.
Viewers love streaming content and ABC gets that we do, which is why Im proud to announce our new show Porn. Its a little bit slow to start, but it gets good at the end.
In order for broadcast television to survive we have to stay current, and thats why were bringing you fresh new shows like MacGyver, Prison Break, 24, Training Day, the $100,000 Pyramid and Match Game.
Yesterday Fox said their audience is younger and their content is buzzier. And Ill add that their bull is shittier. Fox picked up a series based on The Exorcist and Lethal Weapon. All your favorite VHS tapes are now network series. You know they decided to remake The Exorcist when Gary and Dana looked at their ratings and started projectile vomiting. Fox now has The Exorcist on the schedule and Lucifer, which actually is a show based on the life of their founder Rupert Murdoch. So, the devil is on their side. And theyve got Lethal Weapon. Youd think a show where the lead characters signature line is Im too old for this shit would be on CBS. CBS canceled CSI: Cyber, which is the last of the CSIs. They picked up a number of new dramas, which is good, I guess. I mean its amazing CBS is able to pick anything up considering the osteoporosis.
The average CBS viewer looks like the Red Woman from Game of Thrones without
Most recent headlines
11/12/2025
Dalet, a leading provider of cloud-native, end-to-end media workflow solutions, ...
06/12/2025
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. A new survey from Pixitmedia by Datacore revealed a major shift in the Media & Entertainment industry in media archiving, with 85% of resp...
06/12/2025
HACKENSACK, N.J. LiveU has announced that the national public broadcaster Czech Television has completed one of the largest LiveU live production deployments fo...
06/12/2025
NEW YORK The National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences (NATAS) presented the Excellence in Production Technology Emmy Award to NASA+ and Dr. Tom Leight...
05/12/2025
2025 Sports Broadcasting Hall of Fame: Curt Gowdy Jr. - Master Storyteller, Nati...
05/12/2025
SVG Sit-Down: Veritone's Sean King on the Power of Mining Video, Audio DataThe company's Data Refinery offers users total control and governance over da...
05/12/2025
Platinum White Paper: Inside the Nashville Predators' Unified, Flexible, Sca...
05/12/2025
Netflix Reaches Agreement To Acquire Warner Bros. Following Planned WBD SplitThe deal does not include WBDs sports assets like TNT Sports (US, UK, LatAm), Euros...
05/12/2025
FOX Sports Returns to Indianapolis for Primetime Broadcast of Big Ten Championsh...
05/12/2025
SVG Summit 2025 Preview: Digital Engagement & Monetization Workshop Tackles the ...
05/12/2025
Atlanta United Lights Up New Emory Healthcare Studio With First Live Broadcast f...
05/12/2025
As Messi Takes the Pitch, MLS, Apple, NEP Roll Out Largest MLS Cup Production Ev...
05/12/2025
ESPN Enters College Football's Most Intense Month With Elevated Workflows fo...
05/12/2025
It's about that time! Awards season is in full swing, and the Film Independe...
05/12/2025
Every year, Spotify Wrapped offers a personalized look back at the audio that defined your year. It's a snapshot of your listening habits, designed to tell ...
05/12/2025
In 2025, Spotify's EQUAL, GLOW, and RADAR programs celebrated women, LGBTQIA , and emerging artists who turned moments into milestones. From breaking record...
05/12/2025
In our latest blog, we explain how Wi-Fi 7 rollouts can drive consumer loyalty with value-add services such as consumer cybersecurity. We also explore how this ...
05/12/2025
LOS ANGELES Netflix announced it has entered into an agreement to acquire the assets of Warner Bros. for $82.7 billion....
05/12/2025
NEW YORK Nielsens Gracenote has launched Gracenote Content Connect, a new ad platform that provides agencies, brands, supply-side platforms (SSPs) and demand-si...
05/12/2025
NEW YORK In an most important update to the workings of deal-based programmatic advertising, IAB Tech Lab has released version 1.0 of its Deals API for public c...
05/12/2025
NEW YORK Pass the turkey. Pass the stuffing. Pass the cranberry sauce. All are common requests of Americans celebrating Thanksgiving Day with family and f...
05/12/2025
NEW YORK Iris, the new cloud-connected camera control platform, has officially launched with features that turn virtually any PTZ camera into a software-connect...
05/12/2025
HOLLYWOOD, Calif. Netflix announced today that it has entered into an agreement to acquire the assets of Warner Bros. for $82.7 billion....
05/12/2025
NEW YORK Iris, the new cloud-connected camera control platform, has officially launched with features that turn virtually any PTZ camera into a software-connect...
05/12/2025
WASHINGTON The Federal Communications Commission has approved AT&T's $1.02 billion acquisition of spectrum from UScellular in a decision that was issued sho...
05/12/2025
The Best Coldplay Songs: 21 Tracks That Shoot for the Stars From Yellow to Viva La Vida, Fix You to Paradise, this playlist goes back to the start.
December ...
05/12/2025
Zafris Lecture Series Brings Nabil Ayers to Berklee The 32nd annual James G. Zafris Distinguished Lecture series was held on Thursday, November 13, with guest...
05/12/2025
Friday 5 December 2025
A new Game of Thrones Tale: Official trailer for Sky Exc...
05/12/2025
Back to All News
Don Lee, Lee Jin-uk, and Lalisa Manobal to Star in Netflix Act...
05/12/2025
Tis the season of giving once again and this year we've taken our Give Back Fridays' concept and turned it on its head.
In the autumn we were approach...
05/12/2025
Brayden Gogis doesn't remember a time when he wasn't completely fixated on games in all forms. In preschool, when they asked us to dress up as what we ...
05/12/2025
The Grinch steals the spotlight as the theme for The Late Late Toy Show 2025
Tune in tonight at 9:35pm on RT One and worldwide on RT Player
#LateLateToyShow...
05/12/2025
RT Announces New Presenters of Flagship News Programmes
New RT Six One News co-presenter Tommy Meskill
Sarah McInerney & Justin McCarthy join Morning Ir...
04/12/2025
ToolsOnAir Blackmagic Design HyperDeck Event Presets for just:in mac pro 2025 & ...
04/12/2025
ToolsOnAir AJA Ki Pro Event Presets for just:in mac pro 2025 & just:in linux
More Details:Starting with version 5.5, both just:in mac pro and just:in linux sol...
04/12/2025
Wangu Kanuri from Kenya and Godwin Asediba from Ghana are two of this years finalists for Thomsons Young Journalist of the Year Award. The pair are runners-up i...
04/12/2025
SVG Sit-Down: ProximaVision's Claudio Lisman on Why Tethered Drones Could Be...
04/12/2025
SVG Campus Shot Callers: Imry Halevi, Senior Associate Director of Athletics, Co...
04/12/2025
Platinum White Paper: LiveU Lightweight Sports Production: A Step Change in Spor...
04/12/2025
London to Riyadh: DAZN brings the boxing glamour to new production levels for Be...
04/12/2025
Analysis: Paramount bets on the battering ram' with Champions League play By Callum McCarthy, Editor-at-Large
Tuesday, December 2, 2025 - 10:12
Print ...
04/12/2025
Space City Home Network Launches SCHN DTC App for Astros and RocketsThe Rockets and Astros were previously the lone NBA and MLB teams without a DTC appBy Jason...
04/12/2025
SVG Summit 2025 Preview: Content Workflows Workshop Spotlights Evolution of Spor...
04/12/2025
New Sponsor Spotlight: Geotech's Patrick Wambold On the Unreal Engine Revolu...
04/12/2025
Curt Gowdy Jr. - Master Storyteller, Nationally and RegionallyBy Jason Dachman, Editorial Director, U.S.
Thursday, December 4, 2025 - 1:52 pm
Print This Sto...
04/12/2025
(L-R) Rebecca Lichtenfeld, Mohammadreza Eyni, Sara Khaki, and Judith Helfand att...
04/12/2025
SBS launches Future Frames initiative to support emerging First Nations video ed...
04/12/2025
Coronal mass ejections caused by eruptions on the surface of the sun can have fa...
04/12/2025
Gracenote Content Connect enables media ecosystem to precisely align ad campaigns and programming based on rich content signals
NEW YORK - December 4, 2025 - N...
At ABCs upfront presentation, Jimmy Kimmel again bit the hand that feeds him by ripping into the TV business and the advertising world.
