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Tulisa Contostavlos has spoken to Good Morning Britain about attempting to take her own life during her recent court ordeal.
The singer told Charlotte Hawkins:
It just all got too much for me. I'm not going to sit here and want a pity party. It was a dark time, a very dark moment but I've got through it and I am here today.
Its been a really really hard year - the most difficult year of my life but at the same time I always try to take a positive from a negative and its given me the kind of life experience that you can't buy - that it takes some people ten years to gain. Its also made me a wiser person. Stronger.
On finding out she had been duped:
I felt a million emotions. How could I have not seen it. I felt like my life was over. Like someone had taken my life away. They took it out of my hands and took it away in a second.
On drugs:
I've openly admitted to smoking weed. There are a lot of people in this industry that have dabbled in cocaine and I am one of the very few that haven't and don't. To me it feels a bit of a class thing as well. There are certain people of a different class that can get off very lightly in certain situations and it gets laughed off. With me everything gets made to feel a lot worse - because of the class thing - because at times I do get shown as a bit of a rebel of the industry but I am actually quite the opposite.
On her biggest fear:
Prison was very scary at first but then I had to come to terms with it because I thought it was a possibility. I came to terms with it - I accepted it. The biggest fear for me was losing my livelihood; something I have worked for from the age of 11 years old. I've not known anything else, its all I have had. Its my life. I just woke up one day and it was taken out of hands - I had no control - I couldn't work I couldn't speak to clear my name because of legal reasons. I just had to sit in silence just being bashed left right and centre by the media - and being portrayed as a monster.
On her state of mind at the time:
There are different levels of depression - when I got low, I got really really low. But I picked myself up quicker than most and got on with things the best I could. My lowest point was when I found out I was going to be officially charged. It had already been dragging on for so long. When I found out I was being charged I lost the faith.
On friends who have supported her:
I locked myself off a lot from the world so there only a few people that could contact me. Marvin and Rochelle are two people that really had my back throughout - and Niall and Rylan.
On trust:
Its made me a paranoid wreck when it comes to people. You are always looking over your shoulder - who is out to get me next.
I have no idea what is going to happen - no idea how the public will feel about me coming back. I've been portrayed as a monster. I'm going to try and go back to what I love again.
The interview will also be available from 5am on www.itv.com/goodmorningbritain
Note to Editors:
***If any of this content is used please credit: Tulisa Contostavlos on Good Morning Britain Monday from 6am on ITV***
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