tools of the trade
Feb 14, 2018
It's that time of year again the day to proclaim your love to the world. On Valentine's Day, it is imperative that you share an image that celebrates your relationship and, more importantly, proves that the love you share with your mate is much stronger than that of your friends' relationships. As added incentive, this is an opportunity to wave your relationship in your single friends' faces. All year long, they get to just live their lives, free from compromise and consideration. But today, it's your time to shine, and remind them that compromise is awesome and making your own decisions is amateur.
In order to fully communicate your relationship status, you need to nail your Insta photo and caption. This is how you do it:
Cupid's day is a perfect opportunity for a selfie with your one true love. Time lapse (.5s or 1s) and hold up and away. Holding the camera above eye level, point the lens toward your belly button. This way, you'll fill the frame with you and your mate, instead of far too much sky.
If you must choose an older GoPro shot from the archives, select an image that shows how much fun you and your mate have. Make sure it's a recent photo; there is nothing more transparent than posting a TBT-style shot from your trip to Hawaii in 2009, when he had fewer tattoos, and you hadn't yet removed your compulsive decision in Daytona Beach.
If you are familiar with Protune settings, set your ISO limit to 400, and turn your sharpness down to medium or low.
Write the perfect caption:
If image allows, shoot for a pun or clich . Head over heels for you (see above); Fall for you more every day.
Develop a relationship hashtag. Bonus points if you can include one or both of your last names ex. #HeadingBrownTheAisle.
Google quotes about love. If it rhymes, even better.
Include statistics for how long you've been together, e.g. Loved for you 148 days, can't wait for the next 148 more.
Use a minimum of 4 Emojis
For validation, text your 2 closest friends to like and comment or you swear you'll share that photo from sophomore year Halloween.
If you are single, all of the previous applies to pictures of your bicycle or car, you enjoying a slice of pizza or pint of beer, and even the triple vanilla latte with no foam (but make sure the heart drawn around your name in Sharpie that Karen behind the counter scribbled is framed in the shot).
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