Top 15 Modern Christmas Cracker Jokes Revealed
The winning joke: What does Donald Trump do after he pulls a cracker? Pays her off.
TV channel Gold challenged the nation to come up with the best topical Christmas cracker jokes for sixth year running
Puns about the Royals, Network Rail and the Kardashians also got the country giggling
A joke about US President Donald Trump has been revealed as the winner of a national competition to come up with the best new modern Christmas cracker joke.
Other topical moments in 2018s news agenda have also been used as material for the top 15 festive funnies, including Love Island, Harry and Meghans wedding, the dance trend of flossing and political blunders from world politicians including Boris Johnson and Theresa May.
Now in its sixth year, the jokes are the result of an annual festive competition run by TV channel Gold, which challenges the British public to come up with the best topical and modern Christmas cracker jokes, which are then voted for by the British public.
The Top 15 funniest new Christmas cracker jokes for 2018 are revealed as:
What does Donald Trump do after he pulls a cracker? Pays her off
Why is Theresa May encouraging board games at Christmas? Because shes trying to bring back Chequers
Why has Debenhams been forced to cancel its Christmas nativity play? No prophet
What does Philip Green buy former employees for Christmas? Their silence
When do sheep practice their new dance? While shepherds watched them floss by night
Whats the difference between the Love Island villa and the stable where Jesus was born? The stable has had some wise men in it
Why does Kim Kardashian hate Christmas so much? Shes always the butt of the Christmas cracker jokes
What is Meghan buying Harry, William and Charles for Christmas? Suits
Why was everyone hungover after Roxanne Palletts Christmas Party? She misjudged the strength of the punch
Why did Donald Trump invite Kanye West round to help with his Christmas presents? Because Kanye is Trumps favourite wrapper
Whats the biggest complaint about Network Rails Christmas seasoning? They keep changing the thyme
Why has Boris Johnson bought mistletoe this year? Because hes tired of being in the single market
Whats the only thing that goes on longer than Christmas? Harry and Meghans wedding preacher
What did Banksy serve with his Christmas turkey? Shred sauce
Who won the North Pole Love Island? Dani Deer
For the sixth year running, Gold, which has rebranded to Christmas Gold for December, challenged the British public to tweet original festive gags for the competition. These were shortlisted by a panel of judges (led by comedy critic Bruce Dessau) and put to an anonymous public vote of 2,000 British adults to reveal the winning jokes. The top six jokes are included within bespoke boxes of Christmas Gold crackers, which were presented to this years winners.
The annual joke competition celebrates the channels seasonal TV scheduling, which includes classic festive episodes of Britains best loved comedies such as The Vicar of Dibley, Blackadder and Mrs Browns Boys. Brand new UKTV Originals to Gold this year are Death On The Tyne, which reunites Johnny Vegas and Sian Gibson in the sequel to Golds biggest ever commission Murder on the Blackpool Express, and Morecambe & Wise in America, featuring footage of Eric and Ernie performances that have never been seen in the UK.
Comedy critic Bruce Dessau, who headed up the Gold judging panel, says,
One thing that can be relied upon in increasingly unpredictable times is that whatever is going on in the world the great British public will always retain their sense of humour. From subjects ranging from Brexit and Meghan Markle to flossing and Love Island, there are jokes here to tickle the funny bones of any Yuletide grinch. And the joke that was chosen as number one shows its definitely a case of Top Trumps for Christmas this year.
Gerald Casey, Gold channel director, says,
The festive period is a time for reflecting on the year thats gone by and, despite the madness of 2018, its fantastic to see that as a country, we can still find laughter in the madness!
The author of the winning joke, Mikel Huz, received £1,500 towards a holiday and a box of bespoke Gold Christmas Crackers, one of which will contain his own gag.
All of the jokes voted on by the 2,000 British public are original content to the best of Golds knowledge.
Christmas Gold is showing festive comedy favourites every night throughout December
Sky 110, Virgin 124, BT and TalkTalk 310
On demand on Sky, Virgin and Now TV
For more information visit gold.uktv.co.uk
@goldchannel
__
Further information please contact:
Alex Butler AB@taylorherring.com or Caitlin Marsh caitlin.marsh@taylorherring.com
Taylor Herring PR / 0208 2065151
Survey information The Gold poll of 2,000 Brits was carried out to highlight Christmas Golds festive programming which shows festive TV favourites every evening in the run-up to Christmas.
The survey was carried out on behalf of Gold by OnePoll in November 2018. 2,000 British adults picked their top five favourite jokes from the shortlist judged by a panel of Gold judges.
All of the jokes voted on by the 2,000 British adults are original content to the best of Golds knowledge.
Notes to Editors
About Gold
Sky 110, Virgin 124, BT and TalkTalk 310 On demand on Sky, Virgin and Now TV
Dedicated to celebrating the best of British comedy, Gold is the nations favourite comedy channel. Much-loved comedy series such as Only Fools and Horses, The Vicar of Dibley and The Royle Family sit alongside an array of successful UKTV Originals including David Jason: My Life on Screen, The Rebel, The Story of Only Fools and Horses, and Murder on the Blackpool Express, which stars a stunning cast including Johnny Vegas and Sian Gibson. The fe
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Top 15 Modern Christmas Cracker Jokes Revealed 
