
Prison Journalism: How have you changed as a person while in prison?Jeffrey Shockley is a writer serving a life sentence in the State Correctional Institution-Fayette in Pennsylvania.
by Jeffrey Shockley
17-04-2024 15:13
in Prison Journalism
Prison
Image via Unsplash
I would like to first thank TheSouthAfrican.com community for allowing this opportunity to communicate from beyond the region of South Africa.
--
As simple as it might seem to answer the topic question of how have I changed as a person while in prison, it is a pretty profound question to answer. In prison or out of prison it is the duty of every human being to continue to grow and evolve, yes?
My life before prison was not so much a troubled life; I was gainfully employed, maintained a relationship and was even a member of my community in good standing.
Behind closed doors however, it was a more disruptive environment saddled with depression, alcoholism and drug usage to self-medicate from unresolved childhood issues stemming from abuse, abandonment issues and identity crisis.
--
I was raised by my maternal grandmother from the age of three in a predominately white but diverse neighborhood which stunted my Black education and Black identity.
Coming to prison was a culture shock and by my speech and socializing more with white people it would be remiss to say that I was not readily accepted within the prison's Black population. That is until it was discovered that I could write.
Requests from my brothers to write letters to lawyer's, girlfriends and wives became a means to socialize in a community I was familiar with and yet could not fully identify with because these Black people acted differently from the ones I was raised around.
--
Time tends to take a toll on an individual and serving time in prison makes it that much harder to live. The endless constraints of being told what to do, where you can or cannot go. The constant threat of punishment as you try to live this life in honor of those I have caused harm to adds stress. What if the victim's family member was in this prison?
When I was younger I was the class clown, the jokester to make people laugh. Did not take accountability for anything I did. However, I did accept whatever the punishment was for whatever it was that I had done.
Basically, I had a troubled past going in and out of [county] prison for things like unauthorized use of a motor vehicle; driving under the influence, breaking and entering of a business. All of which came back to haunt me when I received the punishment of a life sentence.
As the comedian Kevin Hart says, you gon' learn today and learn did I do.
How I have changed or what I have learned is that I MUST LIVE FOR ME. In the past it was about who could I impress, make to like me, validate me because of the self-identity issues? Being raised by my grandmother I watched her being of service to many people and that is where I learned it from.
Being a church lady it was nothing to wake up in the early morning hours to find her making fresh baked bread, or cakes or some other form of delectable treat for the church committee; a neighbor who needed, or some other organization that made a request for two dozen this or that.
Grandmom worked as a Private Duty Nurse for several Jewish families which meant for the most part she lived-in; taking care of the elders of that family and the children, cooking and cleaning. Coming home periodically, weekends, to take care of me her 12-13 year old grandson.
What control of my life do I have if my emotions are tied up in what others may think of me?
What goes on around me? Should I strive inside myself to be what everyone thinks I should be, will I know if I lose my identity to who I want to be in my own life?
Prison has its walls and fences around it but the freedom I seek from a yesterday I once lived does not have to define me or confine me to some eternal grave of mistakes made. Will I forget what it is to be free inside my own mind behind time spent living for others who now no longer need me for me?
Those so called friends never heard from again as the prison doors swallow you up, shutting you off from the outside world.
It has been 24 years and I am much older than I was when I got here at the age of 37. Those who know me would say that I am more serious in my attitude, more mature. While the masses may confine their lives inside the prison I am looking beyond these walls and chain link fences to reach out to those who love me.
Those I have hurt with my past deeds.
I am willing to help whomever may need it but in prison that comes at a cost. People will sidle up to you and befriend you to get what they want that you have. So I had to become strong and confident. More self-assured as to who I am in this grand scheme of the prison industrial complex.
One thing that has not changed with me is still being of service. The institution has provided an opportunity to be a Certified Peer Specialist (CPS) worker and I reach out to the men in the Restricted Housing Unit (RHU) helping those with mental health issues or just being an ear to those who need it.
Prison has afforded me the ability to grow into a responsible individual and take an account of my past to lead a better life for tomorrow. Who among us is perfect? So I cannot say that I do not have some of the issues that have held me captive, however, I am able to reach out to some family and friends who love and care enough about me today that yesterday would have locked me out of the house no matter how hungry or dirty I was.
The things I may have lost by coming to prison are nothing compared to the endless, priceless and eternal growth that otherwise may not have occurred in my life.
The joy of a slow walk in the rain, or to sit and stare out the window watching a spider spin a w
Most recent headlines
05/01/2027
Worlds first 802.15.4ab-UWB chip verified by Calterah and Rohde & Schwarz to be ...
07/10/2026
Dalet, a leading technology and service provider for media-rich organizations, today announced the latest Long-Term Supported (LTS) release of Dalet Flex. Build...
06/09/2026
June 9 2026, 23:00 (PDT) Dolby and MagentaTV Bring Fans Closer to the FIFA Worl...
05/08/2026
Thomson's Climate Crisis Toolkit for Media in Tanzania is being included in a new virtual library designed to ensure accurate and engaging storytelling arou...
05/08/2026
RSNs, teams, leagues, and streamers explore the present and future of local spor...
05/08/2026
As sports-production workflows generate larger volumes of unstructured data and ...
05/08/2026
Three aspiring broadcasters will contribute on-camera and inside the production ...
05/08/2026
Adam Meeks attends the premiere of his film Union County, an official selection of the 2026 Sundance Film Festival. (Photo by Jemal Countess/Sundance Institut...
05/08/2026
Major discounts, updates & remakes of early VST plug-ins
Steinberg are currently celebrating two significant anniversaries, with this week marking the 30th ...
05/08/2026
Flagship monitor range gains wireless remote control
KRK's flagship studio monitor range has just been upgraded, with three new fifth-generation models ...
05/08/2026
Rohde & Schwarz launches next phase of Airways New Zealand Air Traffic Control s...
05/08/2026
Rohde & Schwarz presents the R&S MP007, a man-portable tactical direction findin...
05/08/2026
Advertisers invested $53.6 million in the retirement sector in the last 12 month...
05/08/2026
Nielsen CMI and Ad Intel data reveals who's visiting IKEA, where else they s...
05/08/2026
Media buyers and sellers can now compare deduplicated campaign reach across computer, mobile, connected TV and linear TV across all measurable CTV publishers in...
05/08/2026
Stranger Things' Leads All Streaming Titles with 23.3 Billion Minutes in Fir...
05/08/2026
Share
Copy link
Facebook
X
Linkedin
Bluesky
Email...
05/08/2026
Share
Copy link
Facebook
X
Linkedin
Bluesky
Email...
05/08/2026
QuickLink, the leading provider of award-winning video production and remote guest integration solutions, announces the appointment of Kane Peterson to its Nort...
05/08/2026
XR research reveals marketers believe they have control over production costs, yet budget overruns, campaign delays and creative cutbacks remain commonplace
Se...
05/08/2026
Game On Live Studio Uses Blackmagic Design to Stream Tropical 7s
Brie Clayton August 4, 2026
0 Comments
Every match of world's largest youth rugby...
05/08/2026
Chris Fitzgerald to Head TDC's Experiential Growth
Brie Clayton August 4, 2026
0 Comments
Technical Direction Company promotes Chris Fitzgerald to...
05/08/2026
Share
Copy link
Facebook
X
Linkedin
Bluesky
Email...
05/08/2026
Share
Copy link
Facebook
X
Linkedin
Bluesky
Email...
05/08/2026
Profuz Digital is set to launch a powerful upgrade to its Profuz LAPIS digital media management platform at IBC this year at Stand 8.A88. France Galop, Canal+ F...
05/08/2026
KRK, a Gibson brand and leader in professional studio monitoring for nearly four decades, launches its new V Series Five Studio Monitors, the latest evolution o...
05/08/2026
Network expansion, continued customer growth and stable financial performance characterized Magyar Telekoms business results for the first half and second quart...
05/08/2026
Wednesday 5 August 2026
The Sky Foundation launches new bursary programme to su...
05/08/2026
Charlie Sheen Launches Mostly Sheenius in Partnership with Red Seat Ventures After Decades as One of the World's Most Recognizable and Interviewed Celebr...
04/08/2026
Live production in the cloud is a growing trend across the industry, and Major L...
04/08/2026
LAFC co-managing owner will succeed Don Garber on Jan. 1, 2027, as league prepar...
04/08/2026
In 2022, when the PGA TOUR was breaking ground on its new, state-of-the-art broa...
04/08/2026
Provided by POVORA, the new camera angle offers a dealer's-eye view of the c...
04/08/2026
Spiideo will provide the camera setup, with NEP handling broadcast integration and off-site video operations...
04/08/2026
Production team streamed more than 750 youth rugby matches using ATEM switchers,...
04/08/2026
Agreement gives KTC early access to NDI's Advanced SDK for integration across commercial displays, digital signage, and interactive panels...
04/08/2026
Twelve projects across four categories recognize collaborative work in productio...
04/08/2026
Multi-year agreement will introduce SkeleTRACK, semi-automated offside, automate...
04/08/2026
Three mc 56 consoles, dual A__UHD Core engines, RAVENNA networking, and HOME management supported live sound, monitoring, and international broadcast production...
04/08/2026
New contribution products support ultra-low-latency video transport across fixed, remote, and mobile production environments...
04/08/2026
Company will showcase updates across PRIME, Chyron LIVE, Paint, virtual production, newsroom workflows, and venue control...
04/08/2026
Exhibit will feature SilverBack, VersaBrix, VersaFrame, VF-9100, and FiberSaver-10G platforms...
04/08/2026
Platform updates target cloud-based production, high-density ST 2110 monitoring,...
04/08/2026
Live Media Group will take control of Gravity Media's U.S. mobile-unit fleet...
04/08/2026
Amp-modelling rigs get major upgrade
HeadRush have recently released a major firmware update that brings some powerful new features to their Prime, Core and...
04/08/2026
Generate a choir from a single voice track
Following years of development, Am I Audio have just officially launched their debut plug-in. Created in collabor...
04/08/2026
Official EMT-endorsed reverbs now available to all
Two more of Universal Audio's renowned UAD plug-ins have just gained new native versions that can be ...
04/08/2026
SBS helps Australians understand why every Census counts
Media releases
As Australia prepares for the 2026 Census on Tuesday 11 August, SBS is helping ensur...
04/08/2026
Canada invests in the future of HF communications with Rohde & Schwarz solutions After selection by the Canadian Department of National Defence (DND) as the p...
04/08/2026
Blendkit Expands Beyond Blender
Brie Clayton August 4, 2026
0 Comments
Popular 3D Asset Library Launches Alpha Plugins for Maya, Godot, and Rhino
Blend...