
Prison Journalism: How have you changed as a person while in prison?Jeffrey Shockley is a writer serving a life sentence in the State Correctional Institution-Fayette in Pennsylvania.
by Jeffrey Shockley
17-04-2024 15:13
in Prison Journalism
Prison
Image via Unsplash
I would like to first thank TheSouthAfrican.com community for allowing this opportunity to communicate from beyond the region of South Africa.
--
As simple as it might seem to answer the topic question of how have I changed as a person while in prison, it is a pretty profound question to answer. In prison or out of prison it is the duty of every human being to continue to grow and evolve, yes?
My life before prison was not so much a troubled life; I was gainfully employed, maintained a relationship and was even a member of my community in good standing.
Behind closed doors however, it was a more disruptive environment saddled with depression, alcoholism and drug usage to self-medicate from unresolved childhood issues stemming from abuse, abandonment issues and identity crisis.
--
I was raised by my maternal grandmother from the age of three in a predominately white but diverse neighborhood which stunted my Black education and Black identity.
Coming to prison was a culture shock and by my speech and socializing more with white people it would be remiss to say that I was not readily accepted within the prison's Black population. That is until it was discovered that I could write.
Requests from my brothers to write letters to lawyer's, girlfriends and wives became a means to socialize in a community I was familiar with and yet could not fully identify with because these Black people acted differently from the ones I was raised around.
--
Time tends to take a toll on an individual and serving time in prison makes it that much harder to live. The endless constraints of being told what to do, where you can or cannot go. The constant threat of punishment as you try to live this life in honor of those I have caused harm to adds stress. What if the victim's family member was in this prison?
When I was younger I was the class clown, the jokester to make people laugh. Did not take accountability for anything I did. However, I did accept whatever the punishment was for whatever it was that I had done.
Basically, I had a troubled past going in and out of [county] prison for things like unauthorized use of a motor vehicle; driving under the influence, breaking and entering of a business. All of which came back to haunt me when I received the punishment of a life sentence.
As the comedian Kevin Hart says, you gon' learn today and learn did I do.
How I have changed or what I have learned is that I MUST LIVE FOR ME. In the past it was about who could I impress, make to like me, validate me because of the self-identity issues? Being raised by my grandmother I watched her being of service to many people and that is where I learned it from.
Being a church lady it was nothing to wake up in the early morning hours to find her making fresh baked bread, or cakes or some other form of delectable treat for the church committee; a neighbor who needed, or some other organization that made a request for two dozen this or that.
Grandmom worked as a Private Duty Nurse for several Jewish families which meant for the most part she lived-in; taking care of the elders of that family and the children, cooking and cleaning. Coming home periodically, weekends, to take care of me her 12-13 year old grandson.
What control of my life do I have if my emotions are tied up in what others may think of me?
What goes on around me? Should I strive inside myself to be what everyone thinks I should be, will I know if I lose my identity to who I want to be in my own life?
Prison has its walls and fences around it but the freedom I seek from a yesterday I once lived does not have to define me or confine me to some eternal grave of mistakes made. Will I forget what it is to be free inside my own mind behind time spent living for others who now no longer need me for me?
Those so called friends never heard from again as the prison doors swallow you up, shutting you off from the outside world.
It has been 24 years and I am much older than I was when I got here at the age of 37. Those who know me would say that I am more serious in my attitude, more mature. While the masses may confine their lives inside the prison I am looking beyond these walls and chain link fences to reach out to those who love me.
Those I have hurt with my past deeds.
I am willing to help whomever may need it but in prison that comes at a cost. People will sidle up to you and befriend you to get what they want that you have. So I had to become strong and confident. More self-assured as to who I am in this grand scheme of the prison industrial complex.
One thing that has not changed with me is still being of service. The institution has provided an opportunity to be a Certified Peer Specialist (CPS) worker and I reach out to the men in the Restricted Housing Unit (RHU) helping those with mental health issues or just being an ear to those who need it.
Prison has afforded me the ability to grow into a responsible individual and take an account of my past to lead a better life for tomorrow. Who among us is perfect? So I cannot say that I do not have some of the issues that have held me captive, however, I am able to reach out to some family and friends who love and care enough about me today that yesterday would have locked me out of the house no matter how hungry or dirty I was.
The things I may have lost by coming to prison are nothing compared to the endless, priceless and eternal growth that otherwise may not have occurred in my life.
The joy of a slow walk in the rain, or to sit and stare out the window watching a spider spin a w
Most recent headlines
05/01/2027
Worlds first 802.15.4ab-UWB chip verified by Calterah and Rohde & Schwarz to be ...
04/08/2026
Dalet, a leading technology and service provider for media-rich organizations, t...
04/07/2026
April 7 2026, 19:00 (PDT) Detective Conan: Fallen Angel of the Highway Opens in...
09/06/2026
Kiswe announces an expanded long-term partnership with ONE Championship (ONE), t...
09/06/2026
SiriusXM will broadcast FOX Sports' English-language commentary for all 104 FIFA World Cup 2026 matches from June 11 through July 19, available to subscribe...
09/06/2026
EVS has announced it is changing its corporate name from EVS Broadcast Equipment to EVS, reflecting the company's expanded portfolio beyond broadcast equipm...
09/06/2026
Fox Corporation and the NFL have announced a multi-year agreement to bring NFL c...
09/06/2026
FOX Sports and ReachTV, an airport media network, have announced an agreement to...
09/06/2026
Cosm Atlanta, a 70,000-square-foot, three-level immersive entertainment venue located within Centennial Yards adjacent to State Farm Arena and Mercedes-Benz Sta...
09/06/2026
NESN captured five awards at the 2026 Boston/New England Emmy Awards, including four program honors and one individual award.
These awards reflect the passion...
09/06/2026
Ateme has announced that its support for Apple Immersive Video workflows was referenced by Apple during its 2026 Worldwide Developers Conference (WWDC26).
Atem...
09/06/2026
Bitmovin has announced that Axel Springer SE has deployed Player Web X, Bitmovin's web video player, to power audio readouts of news articles and an audio-o...
09/06/2026
Grass Valley and Lawo have announced a technology collaboration to validate orch...
09/06/2026
LiveU has announced a deployment with the Oceania Football Confederation (OFC) t...
09/06/2026
Globecast has announced the launch of its Content Exchange platform, powered by ...
09/06/2026
NBC Sports will present live coverage of Overtime's OT7 football league Championship Weekend from Sullivan Field at Loyola Marymount University in Los Angel...
09/06/2026
We're in three different locations, three different production teams. Coveri...
09/06/2026
The intro video for Men's Basketball won Outstanding In-Venue Video in the C...
09/06/2026
Today is match day minus two for FIFA and HBS. On Thursday, there will be two ma...
09/06/2026
Since their debut, the clock-and-score graphic has drawn the affinity and ire of...
09/06/2026
Last month, Spotify hosted PURE FLOWERS LIVE, a special event celebrating the re...
09/06/2026
Last month, RADAR U.K. artist Skye Newman took the stage in East London for a sp...
09/06/2026
Company to cease operating on 30 June 2026
Australian loudspeaker and amplifier manufacturer Wayne Jones Audio have announced that after much consideration,...
09/06/2026
Increases low-end weight and character
The latest plug-in release from Sheffield-based fedDSP aims to offer an all-in-one solution for users in search of mo...
09/06/2026
Introduces AI Studio Assistant, Moises Studio integration & more
Fender Studio have just announced the launch a significant update that brings an array of n...
09/06/2026
The National Film and Video Foundation (NFVF) is a statutory body mandated to spearhead the equitable growth and development of the South African film and video...
09/06/2026
The BBC has found its Hercule Poirot.
After Deadline revealed last month that t...
09/06/2026
Media buyers and sellers can now compare YouTube reach from computer, mobile, an...
09/06/2026
Share
Copy link
Facebook
X
Linkedin
Bluesky
Email...
09/06/2026
Share
Copy link
Facebook
X
Linkedin
Bluesky
Email...
09/06/2026
A project aimed at modernizing scheduling operations across Mediaset's channel portfolio
Mediagenix, a global leader in smart content solutions to profitab...
09/06/2026
tvONE, an ACT Entertainment brand, debuts its most powerful video processor ever built: the 4RU CALICO PRO (C7-PRO-4200), at InfoComm 2026 (Booth N6813). Engine...
09/06/2026
Composer and Conductor Eric Whitacre to Receive Honorary Doctorate at Berklee Va...
09/06/2026
Share
Copy link
Facebook
X
Linkedin
Bluesky
Email...
09/06/2026
Share
Copy link
Facebook
X
Linkedin
Bluesky
Email...
09/06/2026
Share
Copy link
Facebook
X
Linkedin
Bluesky
Email...
09/06/2026
Technology collaboration to validate AMPP and Lawo HOME orchestration integration, showcasing Dynamic Media Facility principles in practice.
Grass Valley and ...
09/06/2026
Bitmovin, a leading provider of video streaming solutions, today announced that Axel Springer SE, international media and technology company, has deployed Playe...
09/06/2026
LiveU, the global leader in live IP-video solutions, today announced a landmark deployment with the Oceania Football Confederation (OFC) that has brought Video ...
09/06/2026
Share
Copy link
Facebook
X
Linkedin
Bluesky
Email...
09/06/2026
Share
Copy link
Facebook
X
Linkedin
Bluesky
Email...
09/06/2026
Share
Copy link
Facebook
X
Linkedin
Bluesky
Email...
09/06/2026
Share
Copy link
Facebook
X
Linkedin
Bluesky
Email...
09/06/2026
Share
Copy link
Facebook
X
Linkedin
Bluesky
Email...
09/06/2026
Two Alumni Win Tony Awards Mike Morris and Cedric Leiba Jr. won awards for Best Orchestrations and Best Play, respectively.
June 8, 2026
By
Tori Donahue
...
09/06/2026
X-Rite Pantone Launches Offset360 to Modernize Color Control Across Existing Pre...
09/06/2026
09 Jun 2026
VEON Appoints Serkan Ozturk as Chief of Staff & Strategy Officer Dubai and New York, June 9, 2026 - VEON Ltd. (NASDAQ: VEON), a global digital oper...
09/06/2026
Tuesday 9 June 2026
Katie Price: Nothing to Hide, a candid and unfiltered accou...
09/06/2026
Back to All News
Netflix Unveils First Images And Poster For Wrath, A New Brazi...
09/06/2026
Enni Continues to Rely on Arvato Systems - And Will Be Using AEP.EnerS4 Billing Solution
Arvato Systems to implement transformation project for SAP S/4HANA Ut...