Sony Pixel Power calrec Sony

Prison Journalism: How have you changed as a person while in prison?

17/04/2024

Prison Journalism: How have you changed as a person while in prison?Jeffrey Shockley is a writer serving a life sentence in the State Correctional Institution-Fayette in Pennsylvania.

by Jeffrey Shockley

17-04-2024 15:13

in Prison Journalism

Prison

Image via Unsplash

I would like to first thank TheSouthAfrican.com community for allowing this opportunity to communicate from beyond the region of South Africa.

--

As simple as it might seem to answer the topic question of how have I changed as a person while in prison, it is a pretty profound question to answer. In prison or out of prison it is the duty of every human being to continue to grow and evolve, yes?

My life before prison was not so much a troubled life; I was gainfully employed, maintained a relationship and was even a member of my community in good standing.

Behind closed doors however, it was a more disruptive environment saddled with depression, alcoholism and drug usage to self-medicate from unresolved childhood issues stemming from abuse, abandonment issues and identity crisis.

--

I was raised by my maternal grandmother from the age of three in a predominately white but diverse neighborhood which stunted my Black education and Black identity.

Coming to prison was a culture shock and by my speech and socializing more with white people it would be remiss to say that I was not readily accepted within the prison's Black population. That is until it was discovered that I could write.

Requests from my brothers to write letters to lawyer's, girlfriends and wives became a means to socialize in a community I was familiar with and yet could not fully identify with because these Black people acted differently from the ones I was raised around.

--

Time tends to take a toll on an individual and serving time in prison makes it that much harder to live. The endless constraints of being told what to do, where you can or cannot go. The constant threat of punishment as you try to live this life in honor of those I have caused harm to adds stress. What if the victim's family member was in this prison?

When I was younger I was the class clown, the jokester to make people laugh. Did not take accountability for anything I did. However, I did accept whatever the punishment was for whatever it was that I had done.

Basically, I had a troubled past going in and out of [county] prison for things like unauthorized use of a motor vehicle; driving under the influence, breaking and entering of a business. All of which came back to haunt me when I received the punishment of a life sentence.

As the comedian Kevin Hart says, you gon' learn today and learn did I do.

How I have changed or what I have learned is that I MUST LIVE FOR ME. In the past it was about who could I impress, make to like me, validate me because of the self-identity issues? Being raised by my grandmother I watched her being of service to many people and that is where I learned it from.

Being a church lady it was nothing to wake up in the early morning hours to find her making fresh baked bread, or cakes or some other form of delectable treat for the church committee; a neighbor who needed, or some other organization that made a request for two dozen this or that.

Grandmom worked as a Private Duty Nurse for several Jewish families which meant for the most part she lived-in; taking care of the elders of that family and the children, cooking and cleaning. Coming home periodically, weekends, to take care of me her 12-13 year old grandson.

What control of my life do I have if my emotions are tied up in what others may think of me?

What goes on around me? Should I strive inside myself to be what everyone thinks I should be, will I know if I lose my identity to who I want to be in my own life?

Prison has its walls and fences around it but the freedom I seek from a yesterday I once lived does not have to define me or confine me to some eternal grave of mistakes made. Will I forget what it is to be free inside my own mind behind time spent living for others who now no longer need me for me?

Those so called friends never heard from again as the prison doors swallow you up, shutting you off from the outside world.

It has been 24 years and I am much older than I was when I got here at the age of 37. Those who know me would say that I am more serious in my attitude, more mature. While the masses may confine their lives inside the prison I am looking beyond these walls and chain link fences to reach out to those who love me.

Those I have hurt with my past deeds.

I am willing to help whomever may need it but in prison that comes at a cost. People will sidle up to you and befriend you to get what they want that you have. So I had to become strong and confident. More self-assured as to who I am in this grand scheme of the prison industrial complex.

One thing that has not changed with me is still being of service. The institution has provided an opportunity to be a Certified Peer Specialist (CPS) worker and I reach out to the men in the Restricted Housing Unit (RHU) helping those with mental health issues or just being an ear to those who need it.

Prison has afforded me the ability to grow into a responsible individual and take an account of my past to lead a better life for tomorrow. Who among us is perfect? So I cannot say that I do not have some of the issues that have held me captive, however, I am able to reach out to some family and friends who love and care enough about me today that yesterday would have locked me out of the house no matter how hungry or dirty I was.

The things I may have lost by coming to prison are nothing compared to the endless, priceless and eternal growth that otherwise may not have occurred in my life.

The joy of a slow walk in the rain, or to sit and stare out the window watching a spider spin a w
LINK: https://www.thesouthafrican.com/culture/prison-journalism/prison-journ...
See more stories from thesouthafrican

Most recent headlines

05/01/2027

Worlds first 802.15.4ab-UWB chip verified by Calterah and Rohde & Schwarz to be demoed at CES 2026

Worlds first 802.15.4ab-UWB chip verified by Calterah and Rohde & Schwarz to be ...

01/06/2026

Dolby Sets the New Standard for Premium Entertainment at CES 2026

January 6 2026, 05:30 (PST) Dolby Sets the New Standard for Premium Entertainment at CES 2026 Throughout the week, Dolby brings to life the latest innovatio...

02/05/2026

Dalet Flex LTS Delivers Smarter Search, Faster Editing, and an AI-Ready Foundation for Modern Media

Dalet, a leading technology and service provider for media-rich organizations, t...

01/05/2026

NBCUniversal's Peacock to Be First Streamer to Integrate Dolby's Full Suite of Premium Picture and Sound Innovations

January 5 2026, 18:30 (PST) NBCUniversal's Peacock to Be First Streamer to ...

01/04/2026

DOLBY AND DOUYIN EMPOWER THE NEXT GENERATON OF CREATORS WITH DOLBY VISION

January 4 2026, 18:00 (PST) DOLBY AND DOUYIN EMPOWER THE NEXT GENERATON OF CREATORS WITH DOLBY VISION Douyin Users Can Now Create And Share Videos With Stun...

17/03/2026

NASA+ Prepares To Live Stream Historic Artemis II Mission, Bringing Deep-Space Exploration to Global Audiences

NASA+'s Rebecca Sirmons and Brittany Brown offer unique look at live streami...

17/03/2026

BBright's TTML & SMPTE ST 2110-43: One Single Stream For the Whole World

The transition to IP has fundamentally reshaped professional media infrastructures. Video, audio, and increasingly metadata now circulate as independent, precis...

17/03/2026

Op-Ed: How Generative AI Is Transforming Live Sports Streaming Optimization

Live sports streaming can push every element in your video delivery chain to its limit, exposing every potential weakness in seconds. When the Super Bowl, the O...

17/03/2026

Dell Case Study: Powering the Future of Sports Media One Experience at a Time at UT Austin

Texas Athletics sought to modernize its media production, enhance fan experience...

17/03/2026

NAB 2026: Ikegami to Showcase Latest Generation TV Production Cameras, Controllers and Monitors

Ikegami USA will demonstrate the latest additions to its wide range of broadcast...

17/03/2026

TNA Wrestling and iHeartMedia Announce Major Multi-Platform Collaboration

TNA Wrestling and iHeartMedia announces a new multi-platform collaboration that will integrate iHeartMedia across TNA's premium live events, weekly televisi...

17/03/2026

The Miami Dolphins and Dell Boost Fan Experience, Safety, and Efficiency at Hard Rock Stadium

The goal was to transform Hard Rock Stadium into a global leader in sports and e...

17/03/2026

Spectrum Launches Multiview for NCAA Basketball Tournaments

Spectrum has announced the launch of its new Multiview feature in the Spectrum TV App, giving customers the ability to watch up to four NCAA men's or women&...

17/03/2026

Pac-12 Inks Integrity/Data Deals With Genius Sports, IC360

Genius Sports deal also covers data technology, AI, fan engagement, and performance analysis....

17/03/2026

Rede Massa Chooses Net Insight to Enable State-Wide Centralized Operations

Net Insight is supporting the rollout of a new state-wide centralized operation with Rede Massa, which is an SBT affiliate, the Brazilian regional television ne...

17/03/2026

F1 The Movie' Wins the Academy Award for Best Sound

Featuring audio from practice sessions, qualifying races, and Grand Prix races, the film represents Apple's sports-media ambitions At Sunday night's Ac...

17/03/2026

SVG New Sponsor Spotlight: Oracle's Mark Ramberg on the Future of Live Broadcast in the Cloud with OCI

Live broadcast has always been one of the most demanding environments in media a...

17/03/2026

DIRECTV Adds Multiview and Sports Central Features Ahead of NCAA Tournament

DirecTV is introducing several new viewing features, including a multi-screen March Madness Mix channel and an updated Sports Central mobile app hub, ahead of...

17/03/2026

Deltatre and ATP Media Announce Multi-Year Broadcast Graphics/Data Partnership

Deltatre has announced a multi-year partnership with ATP Media, the media arm of the ATP Tour, covering broadcast graphics, data, and production across the 2026...

17/03/2026

Detroit Pistons, Scripps Sports To Air Five Games Free Over the Air on TV-20 Detroit

The Detroit Pistons have announced a third consecutive season partnering with Sc...

17/03/2026

How Fresh Finds Africa Propelled Rapper Zaylevelten to a Breakout Year

Fresh Finds Africa spotlights emerging artists and movements across the continent and its global diaspora, with listeners tuning in to discover new Afro-forward...

17/03/2026

Spotify Sparked Viral Moments at G27: genie fest, Driving the Discovery of Thai Rock

Last month, more than 60,000 fans piled into Bangkok's Rajamangala National ...

17/03/2026

Black Rooster Audio release VWB-1X

Vintage-inspired channel strip joins line-up Black Rooster Audio's latest plug-in provides an all-in-one mixing tool inspired by classic analogue consol...

17/03/2026

Accentize unveil dxSplit

Level and EQ voice, reverb and noise independently The latest plug-in to join Accentize's collection is said to take a new approach to dialogue processi...

17/03/2026

RF Spectrum Threat: OFCOM Survey

UHF radio mic & IEM bandwidth at risk Once again, the UHF bandwidth that is currently allocated to RF audio gear is at risk of being reassigned to high-spee...

17/03/2026

SGL Carbon hosts Bavaria's first pilot training course for prospective plant fire department squad leaders

Last Friday, the first Plant Fire Department Training Week in Bavaria successf...

17/03/2026

New campaign from NAATI and SBS CulturalConnnect highlights how we all deserve to be understood'

New campaign from NAATI and SBS CulturalConnnect highlights how we all deserve ...

17/03/2026

NAB Appoints Two New Members to Television Board of Directors

Share Copy link Facebook X Linkedin Bluesky Email...

17/03/2026

PMVG's TechConnect Goes Virtual for 2026

Share Copy link Facebook X Linkedin Bluesky Email...

17/03/2026

Miris unlocks high-fidelity 3D asset streaming at scale

3D streaming infrastructure provider Miris today announced the launch of a public beta for its new 3D asset streaming platform. Miris is building the infrastruc...

17/03/2026

Tedial Powers the Future of Media Operations at NAB Show...

As media organizations face mounting pressure to produce more content, faster, while maximizing value and operational efficiency, Tedial, a leading provider of ...

17/03/2026

Brainstorm transforms productivity and sustainability wit...

Brainstorm, a leading manufacturer of real-time graphics, augmented and virtual production, is launching the newest version of its platform, Brainstorm Suite 7,...

17/03/2026

Limecraft Introduces New Platform Update Adding Greater C...

Limecraft today announces the release of Limecraft 2026.2, the second platform update in its 2026 release cycle. Limecraft is an AI-powered production platform ...

17/03/2026

Pioneering the Next Era of Sports Broadcasting - Broadcas...

Broadcast Solutions, a leading system integrator and provider of innovative solutions for the broadcast and media industry, showcased its latest broadcast and V...

17/03/2026

SES Launches Cash Tender Offer

THIS ANNOUNCEMENT RELATES TO THE DISCLOSURE OF INFORMATION THAT QUALIFIED OR MAY HAVE QUALIFIED AS INSIDE INFORMATION WITHIN THE MEANING OF ARTICLE 7(1) OF THE ...

17/03/2026

FCC Announces TV Translator Call Sign Changes

Share Copy link Facebook X Linkedin Bluesky Email...

17/03/2026

2026 NAB Show Offering Free Show Floor Passes to Creators

Share Copy link Facebook X Linkedin Bluesky Email...

17/03/2026

QuickLink's Latest StudioEdge Models to Make North American Debut at NAB 202

QuickLink's Latest StudioEdge Models to Make North American Debut at NAB 202 Brie Clayton March 16, 2026 0 Comments The Multi-platform Remote Gues...

17/03/2026

Frankenstein Graded with DaVinci Resolve Studio

Frankenstein Graded with DaVinci Resolve Studio Brie Clayton March 16, 2026 0 Comments Sonnenfeld enhances the controlled interplay between warm and c...

17/03/2026

New Voyavox from Link Electronics with Real-Time Speech-to-Text Captioning to be Featured in NAB Booth #W2910

New Voyavox from Link Electronics with Real-Time Speech-to-Text Captioning to be...

17/03/2026

Berklee City Music Stewards META Fellowship Supporting Massachusetts Music Educators

Berklee City Music Stewards META Fellowship Supporting Massachusetts Music Educa...

17/03/2026

VEON Strengthens Leadership Team to Accelerate Digital Ambition

17 Mar 2026 VEON Strengthens Leadership Team to Accelerate Digital Ambition Senior executive appointments are to enhance country operations and VEON Group'...

17/03/2026

Sam Tewungwa Appointed CEO of UKTV

UKTV today announces the appointment of Sam Tewungwa as Chief Executive Officer, who will lead the company's next phase of growth. Tewungwa, currently Mana...

17/03/2026

Disney+ included in the Sky TV subscription from today, bringing customers more of the best entertainment in one place

Tuesday 17 March 2026 Disney included in the Sky TV subscription from today, b...

17/03/2026

First look: Gugu Mbatha-Raw stars in Sky Original supernatural thriller Possession

The five-part thriller, formerly known as Inheritance, also stars Jonny Lee Mill...

17/03/2026

Sky Arts welcomes Fearne Cotton as co-host of Landscape Artist of the Year

Tuesday 17 March 2026 Sky Arts welcomes Fearne Cotton as co-host of Landscape Artist of the Year Sky Arts' much-loved Landscape Artist of the Year is set ...

17/03/2026

Ella Purnell returns as wallflower-turned-killer in Sky Original Sweetpea

Season 2 of the darkly comic thriller will launch on Sky in 2026Tuesday 17 March 2026 Ella Purnell returns as wallflower-turned-killer in Sky Original Sweetpea...

17/03/2026

Fantasy Action Series Agent from Above' Puts Contemporary Spin on Temple Culture and Traditional Folklore in New Trailer

Back to All News Fantasy Action Series Agent from Above' Puts Contemporary...

17/03/2026

Netflix Presents the Trailer for the Final Season of 'Turn of the Tide'

Back to All News Netflix Presents the Trailer for the Final Season of Turn of the Tide Entertainment 17 March 2026 GlobalSpainPortugal Link copied to clipb...

17/03/2026

Snap Decisions: How Open Libraries for Accelerated Data Processing Boost A/B Testing for Snapchat

The features on social media apps like Snapchat evolve nearly as fast as what...