Sony Pixel Power calrec Sony

Prison Journalism: How have you changed as a person while in prison?

17/04/2024

Prison Journalism: How have you changed as a person while in prison?Jeffrey Shockley is a writer serving a life sentence in the State Correctional Institution-Fayette in Pennsylvania.

by Jeffrey Shockley

17-04-2024 15:13

in Prison Journalism

Prison

Image via Unsplash

I would like to first thank TheSouthAfrican.com community for allowing this opportunity to communicate from beyond the region of South Africa.

--

As simple as it might seem to answer the topic question of how have I changed as a person while in prison, it is a pretty profound question to answer. In prison or out of prison it is the duty of every human being to continue to grow and evolve, yes?

My life before prison was not so much a troubled life; I was gainfully employed, maintained a relationship and was even a member of my community in good standing.

Behind closed doors however, it was a more disruptive environment saddled with depression, alcoholism and drug usage to self-medicate from unresolved childhood issues stemming from abuse, abandonment issues and identity crisis.

--

I was raised by my maternal grandmother from the age of three in a predominately white but diverse neighborhood which stunted my Black education and Black identity.

Coming to prison was a culture shock and by my speech and socializing more with white people it would be remiss to say that I was not readily accepted within the prison's Black population. That is until it was discovered that I could write.

Requests from my brothers to write letters to lawyer's, girlfriends and wives became a means to socialize in a community I was familiar with and yet could not fully identify with because these Black people acted differently from the ones I was raised around.

--

Time tends to take a toll on an individual and serving time in prison makes it that much harder to live. The endless constraints of being told what to do, where you can or cannot go. The constant threat of punishment as you try to live this life in honor of those I have caused harm to adds stress. What if the victim's family member was in this prison?

When I was younger I was the class clown, the jokester to make people laugh. Did not take accountability for anything I did. However, I did accept whatever the punishment was for whatever it was that I had done.

Basically, I had a troubled past going in and out of [county] prison for things like unauthorized use of a motor vehicle; driving under the influence, breaking and entering of a business. All of which came back to haunt me when I received the punishment of a life sentence.

As the comedian Kevin Hart says, you gon' learn today and learn did I do.

How I have changed or what I have learned is that I MUST LIVE FOR ME. In the past it was about who could I impress, make to like me, validate me because of the self-identity issues? Being raised by my grandmother I watched her being of service to many people and that is where I learned it from.

Being a church lady it was nothing to wake up in the early morning hours to find her making fresh baked bread, or cakes or some other form of delectable treat for the church committee; a neighbor who needed, or some other organization that made a request for two dozen this or that.

Grandmom worked as a Private Duty Nurse for several Jewish families which meant for the most part she lived-in; taking care of the elders of that family and the children, cooking and cleaning. Coming home periodically, weekends, to take care of me her 12-13 year old grandson.

What control of my life do I have if my emotions are tied up in what others may think of me?

What goes on around me? Should I strive inside myself to be what everyone thinks I should be, will I know if I lose my identity to who I want to be in my own life?

Prison has its walls and fences around it but the freedom I seek from a yesterday I once lived does not have to define me or confine me to some eternal grave of mistakes made. Will I forget what it is to be free inside my own mind behind time spent living for others who now no longer need me for me?

Those so called friends never heard from again as the prison doors swallow you up, shutting you off from the outside world.

It has been 24 years and I am much older than I was when I got here at the age of 37. Those who know me would say that I am more serious in my attitude, more mature. While the masses may confine their lives inside the prison I am looking beyond these walls and chain link fences to reach out to those who love me.

Those I have hurt with my past deeds.

I am willing to help whomever may need it but in prison that comes at a cost. People will sidle up to you and befriend you to get what they want that you have. So I had to become strong and confident. More self-assured as to who I am in this grand scheme of the prison industrial complex.

One thing that has not changed with me is still being of service. The institution has provided an opportunity to be a Certified Peer Specialist (CPS) worker and I reach out to the men in the Restricted Housing Unit (RHU) helping those with mental health issues or just being an ear to those who need it.

Prison has afforded me the ability to grow into a responsible individual and take an account of my past to lead a better life for tomorrow. Who among us is perfect? So I cannot say that I do not have some of the issues that have held me captive, however, I am able to reach out to some family and friends who love and care enough about me today that yesterday would have locked me out of the house no matter how hungry or dirty I was.

The things I may have lost by coming to prison are nothing compared to the endless, priceless and eternal growth that otherwise may not have occurred in my life.

The joy of a slow walk in the rain, or to sit and stare out the window watching a spider spin a w
LINK: https://www.thesouthafrican.com/culture/prison-journalism/prison-journ...
See more stories from thesouthafrican

Most recent headlines

05/01/2027

Worlds first 802.15.4ab-UWB chip verified by Calterah and Rohde & Schwarz to be demoed at CES 2026

Worlds first 802.15.4ab-UWB chip verified by Calterah and Rohde & Schwarz to be ...

04/08/2026

Dalet Announces Commercial Availability of Dalia, Bringing Media-Aware Agentic AI to Enterprise Productions

Dalet, a leading technology and service provider for media-rich organizations, t...

04/07/2026

Detective Conan: Fallen Angel of the Highway Opens in Dolby Cinemas Across Japan, Presented in Dolby Atmos and Dolby ...

April 7 2026, 19:00 (PDT) Detective Conan: Fallen Angel of the Highway Opens in...

01/06/2026

Dolby Sets the New Standard for Premium Entertainment at CES 2026

January 6 2026, 05:30 (PST) Dolby Sets the New Standard for Premium Entertainment at CES 2026 Throughout the week, Dolby brings to life the latest innovatio...

02/05/2026

Dalet Flex LTS Delivers Smarter Search, Faster Editing, and an AI-Ready Foundation for Modern Media

Dalet, a leading technology and service provider for media-rich organizations, t...

01/05/2026

NBCUniversal's Peacock to Be First Streamer to Integrate Dolby's Full Suite of Premium Picture and Sound Innovations

January 5 2026, 18:30 (PST) NBCUniversal's Peacock to Be First Streamer to ...

16/04/2026

NAB 2026: Appear Announces X5 General Availability, XM Management Tool, and SIx300 Module

Appear ASA (OSE: APR) will announce three additions to its X Platform at NAB Sho...

16/04/2026

CentralCast Deploys Harmonic XOS Media Processor for Public Broadcasting

Harmonic has announced that CentralCast, a centralized master control facility for U.S. public media, has deployed Harmonic's XOS Advanced Media Processor t...

16/04/2026

NAB 2026: Encompass Digital Media Integrates Interra Systems BATON into Cloud-Based Altitude Flow Platform

Interra Systems has announced that Encompass Digital Media has integrated its BA...

16/04/2026

NAB 2026: Grass Valley to Showcase Expanded Media Infrastructure Capabilities

Grass Valley will demonstrate its Media Infrastructure capabilities at NAB Show 2026 (Booth C2408, Central Hall), bringing routing, signal processing, and orche...

16/04/2026

Verizon Readies Robust Network Infrastructure Plans for FIFA World Cup 2026

As preparations ramp up for the FIFA World Cup 2026, Verizon has outlined a sweeping connectivity and infrastructure initiative that will underpin broadcast ope...

16/04/2026

Advanced Image Robotics Joins 2026 MLS Innovation Lab

Advanced Image Robotics (AIR) has announced its selection for the 2026 MLS Innovation Lab. AIR will work with MLS clubs, players, and executives on automated vi...

16/04/2026

NAB 2026: JWX Acquires True Anthem, Adding AI-Powered Social Publishing to Publisher Platform

JWX has announced the acquisition of True Anthem, an AI-powered social publishin...

16/04/2026

Jomboy Media and Fubo Launch 24/7 Creator-Led Channel

Jomboy Media and FuboTV Inc. have launched the Jomboy Media Channel, a 24/7 channel available to FuboTV base plan subscribers. The channel, timed to the start o...

16/04/2026

NAB 2026: Wave Central and EVS Announce SMPTE ST 2110 Interoperability Validation

Wave Central, a Domo Broadcast Company (Booth C2820), and EVS Broadcast Equipmen...

16/04/2026

Tata Communications and Formula 1 Release Race Before the Race, First Film in New Content Series

Tata Communications and Formula 1 have released Race Before the Race, the firs...

16/04/2026

NAB 2026: DPA Microphones N-Series Firmware Update Adds Duplex Gap and Guard Band Access for North American Users

DPA Microphones has released a firmware update for its N-Series Digital Wireless...

16/04/2026

NAB 2026: See Sony's Live Stage Presentations at NAB Show 2026

Sony's Live Stage at NAB Show 2026 is the place to hear directly from the content creators, end users, and technology experts who are pushing boundaries in ...

16/04/2026

Perfect Game and Youth Prospects Announce Broadcast Rights and Content Partnership

Perfect Game and Youth Prospects have announced a partnership covering broadcast...

16/04/2026

National Collegiate Rugby Partners with All Womens Sports Network for 2026 National 7s Championships

National Collegiate Rugby (NCR) has announced a media rights partnership with Al...

16/04/2026

NAB 2026: Audio-Technica Introduces BP350ST-UB and BP350ST-UL Mid-Side Stereo Broadcast Microphones

Audio-Technica has announced two new mid-side (MS) stereo broadcast microphones:...

16/04/2026

NAB 2026: PSSI Global Services Acquires Beagle Networks

PSSI Global Services has announced the acquisition of Beagle Networks, a provider of IT infrastructure and onsite technical support for media and enterprise cus...

16/04/2026

NAB 2026: Blackmagic Design Releases Blackmagic Camera for iOS 3.3

Blackmagic Design has released Blackmagic Camera for iOS 3.3, a free update available now from the Apple App Store. The update will be demonstrated at NAB Show ...

16/04/2026

SVG New Sponsor Spotlight: 4Wall Entertainment's Dave Caulwell on Scaling Live Event Production for Sports

As live sports production continues to expand across linear, digital, and in-ven...

16/04/2026

ESPN Enters First HDR Postseason With REMCO Support in New Bristol-Based Control Rooms

Part of an infrastructure upgrade, the recently constructed spaces accommodate n...

16/04/2026

NBC Sports Tips Off First NBA Playoffs Campaign in 23 Years With Six-Truck Fleet, Interchangeable Production Model

NBC has added NEP's Supershooter 11, which only just came online in time for...

16/04/2026

Introducing a Smarter, Smoother Experience for Tablets

At Spotify, we want your experience to feel intuitive and personal across every moment of the day. Whether you're streaming your favorite playlist while you...

16/04/2026

Telsie T - SonicWorlds extended classic German Equaliser

Vintage broadcast experts release second plug-in Telsie T is the second plug-in to be released by SonicWorld, a German audio company who specialise in servi...

16/04/2026

Softube unveil Flow Studio

Compact unit offers hands-on plug-in control Softube have just announced the launch of their latest hardware unit, the Flow Studio. Housed in a compact desk...

16/04/2026

Fiedler Audio release Armada

Use any VST3 plug-in on immersive audio Fiedler Audio have just released a powerful new plug-in wrapper that brings full VST3 processing to Dolby Atmos and ...

16/04/2026

Nugen Audio update Halo Vision

Analysis plug-in gains enhanced frequency readouts Nugen Audio's real-time analysis plug-in has just received a significant update that introduces some ...

16/04/2026

GearExpo UK Announced

Recording & Music Technology Show Sound On Sound are pleased to announce a new recording and music technology exhibition taking place in London on Saturday ...

16/04/2026

SBS reveals all-star alumni team to celebrate 70 years of the Eurovision Song Contest

SBS reveals all-star alumni team to celebrate 70 years of the Eurovision Song Co...

16/04/2026

Reimagining Earth Measurement for the AI Era: L3Harris and Xoople Develop a New Spaceborne Capability

For decades, understanding the physical world from space has required a trade-of...

16/04/2026

Locality and Nielsen Announce Landmark Integration of Media Data Engine, Transforming Local TV Measurement

The integration accelerates demographic audience delivery across local markets a...

16/04/2026

Quickplay Deploys Gray Medias New Streaming Platform

Share Copy link Facebook X Linkedin Bluesky Email...

16/04/2026

Spectrum TV App Launches On Google TV and Other Android TV Devices

Share Copy link Facebook X Linkedin Bluesky Email...

16/04/2026

Telestream Enables Multi-Cloud Media Workflows with Oracl...

Telestream Cloud Services, including Vantage Cloud, UP, and SENTRY monitoring tools, are now optimized for OCI, powering flexible multi-cloud media orchestratio...

16/04/2026

Fox Corporation Names Amazon Web Services its Preferred A...

Fox Corporation (Nasdaq: FOXA, FOX; FOX or the Company ) today announced a strategic collaboration with Amazon Web Services (AWS), naming AWS as its preferre...

16/04/2026

Triveni Digital Introduces New StreamScope Analyzer to Br...

Triveni Digital, a trusted leader in ATSC 1.0 and 3.0 service delivery, data broadcasting, and quality assurance solutions, today announced an ISDB-Tb capabilit...

16/04/2026

Synamedia and SoFast team up to accelerate FAST and OTT

Synamedia and SoFast announce strategic go-to-market partnership to accelerate FAST, pay-TV, and VOD At the NAB Show 2026, Synamedia and SoFast are announcing ...

16/04/2026

Imagine Builds on a Decade of ST 2110 Leadership at 2026...

Showcases New, Open-Standard IP Solutions Across Its Portfolio, From Production to Playout Imagine Communications is marking a decade of leadership in ST 2110 ...

16/04/2026

Roku Marks 100M Milestone

Share Copy link Facebook X Linkedin Bluesky Email...

16/04/2026

Sportway and Broadcast Solutions acquire Studio Automated...

Sportway Media Group, a world leading AI-automated sports production company and Broadcast Solutions, a leading system integrator and provider of innovative sol...

16/04/2026

AJA to Acquire Video Encoding Software Company Comprimato

Share Copy link Facebook X Linkedin Bluesky Email...

16/04/2026

NAB Show 2026: Sony Announces New Cameras, Virtual Production Tools

Share Copy link Facebook X Linkedin Bluesky Email...

16/04/2026

Synamedia launches GO Shorts

Share Copy link Facebook X Linkedin Bluesky Email...

16/04/2026

Clear-Com Introduces Arcadia and Eclipse HX Updates

Share Copy link Facebook X Linkedin Bluesky Email...

16/04/2026

AJA Enters into Agreement to Acquire Video Encoding Software Company Comprimato

AJA Enters into Agreement to Acquire Video Encoding Software Company Comprimato Brie Clayton April 15, 2026 0 Comments Deal will expand AJA's video ...

16/04/2026

Deity Announces PR-4 Compact Field Recorder with Pre-Orders Launching April 14

Deity Announces PR-4 Compact Field Recorder with Pre-Orders Launching April 14 Brie Clayton April 15, 2026 0 Comments Deity Microphones today announce...