Sony Pixel Power calrec Sony

Monogamous relationships dying in favour of hookups

31/03/2023

Monogamous relationships dying in favour of hookupsHookup culture is a thing in todays society, and as a consequence threatening the standing of monogamous love stories.

by Luh Tsele

31-03-2023 13:06

in LGBTQIA

A gay couple laying side by side. Image: Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels

Finding a date in the LGBTIQ community can be quite frustrating. The frustration comes not because we are bombarded with suitors from every direction, especially in real life. The defeat comes as you realise that if you can't read between the lines, the chances of meeting someone at a coffee shop are a little slim to none. There, the first red card for monogamous relationships.

--

Hookup culture has been taking over Are monogamous relationships fading in favour of hookups? Honestly, it depends on who you ask. But if I was hard-pressed, I would give a slight edge to answering yes. Since I could comprehend the messages the majority of the globe was sending out about queer people, gay men to be specific, promiscuity was always one of the leading assumptions or stereotypes if you want to call it that.

A 2004 study by a team of researchers from the University of Chicago found that promiscuity and unhealthy behaviour were high among homosexual men in the city Chicago. The study reported that 61.3% of the gay men in the city had been involved with over 30 partners. That was almost two decades ago, fast forward to 2023 when technological advancements have made it easier to connect with basically anyone in the world. Do you think the percentage has decreased?

Based on keen observation, I would say no. Our dating apps are now used as a platform for hooking up more than the advertised promise of finding a love. From the moment I signed first up for my first online dating profile years ago, I learned that if the conversation does not lead to a sexual encounter, the person you matched with is likely to disappear like a cloud of smoke.

--

Some gay men vibe with monogamous relationships Not that there aren't gay men, or queer individuals looking for sustainable monogamous relationships out there, those rare breeds are there. It's just difficult to sort through the clatter to find them. How can it be easy to find them when pleasantries have switched from hello to a picture of someone's penis as a more suitable attention-grabbing greeting?

Please do not misquote me, I am not condemning nor advocating for hookup culture. People have different reasons for engaging in casual sex. As explained earlier in the article, meeting your soul-mate in a conventional way in the LGBTIQ community is difficult. So if you can open an app, click on a picture of a perfect torso, and get laid, why wouldn't you? The selling point of hookups is simple, get satisfied with no strings attached.

We are pressed for time Monogamy requires commitment and is time-consuming. You are likely to exhaust time finding that person, and further stretch time trying to build a strong enough bond. Even then it doesn't guarantee that your person won't slip up and revert to sliding into other people's DM's for meaningless quickies.

--

Noah, a gay character from the LGBTIQ film Fire Island once said, Monogamy is a disease created by straight people to make us less interesting. Is it?

CLICK HERE TO READ MORE ARTICLES BY LUH TSELE

SOAPIE QUIZ: How well do you know Generations: The Legacy'? WIN R1 000 in cash!
LINK: https://www.thesouthafrican.com/opinion/monogamous-relationships-dying...
See more stories from thesouthafrican

More from The South African

28/03/2024

Tonight on House of Zwide: Zanele informs Zola of her pregnancy

Tonight on House of Zwide: Zanele informs Zola of her pregnancyDon't miss Thursday, 28 March's riveting episode of South African soapie House of Zwide o...

28/03/2024

Tonight on Umkhokha: MaMzobe outsmarts Gabisile but Difa's suspicion rises

Tonight on Umkhokha: MaMzobe outsmarts Gabisile but Difa's suspicion risesDon't miss Thursday, 28 March's riveting episode of South African soapie U...

28/03/2024

Tonight on Uzalo: Mbatha wins Linda Sibiya over

Tonight on Uzalo: Mbatha wins Linda Sibiya overDon't miss Wednesday, 27 March's riveting episode of South African soapie Uzalo on SABC 1 on DStv channel...

28/03/2024

Generations: The Legacy - Wednesday's episode, 27 March 2024 [VIDEO]

Generations: The Legacy - Wednesday's episode, 27 March 2024 [VIDEO]Stay up to date with the latest episodes of your favourite South African soapie on The S...

28/03/2024

Prison Journalism: Witness the Cycle from the Streets

Prison Journalism: Witness the Cycle from the StreetsWesley Leong was incarcerated at the age of 15 in 1996 at Pollsmoor Prison. He is currently part of Restore...

28/03/2024

Prison Journalism: Inmate pre-release and release processes

Prison Journalism: Inmate pre-release and release processesDean Mashimbwe, a Zimbabwean migrant residing in Cape Town, was incarcerated at Pollsmoor Correctiona...

28/03/2024

Streaming today: When You Finish Saving The World' on Netflix - 28 March 2024

Streaming today: When You Finish Saving The World' on Netflix - 28 March 20...

28/03/2024

Prison Journalism: The Story of Paulus

Prison Journalism: The Story of PaulusDavid van Nek was incarcerated in Pollsmoor Prison from 2013 until 2015 and participated in the restorative justice progra...

28/03/2024

Prison Journalism: Inside and Outside

Prison Journalism: Inside and OutsideFawaaz Adendorff was incarcerated in Pollsmoor Correctional Centre and participated in a Restorative Justice programme whil...

28/03/2024

Tonight on Muvhango: Imani escapes Khumo's hellhole

Tonight on Muvhango: Imani escapes Khumo's hellholeDon't miss Thursday, 28 March's riveting episode of South African soapie Muvhango on SABC 2 on DS...

28/03/2024

Tonight on Generations: Kea can sense her brother is hiding something

Tonight on Generations: Kea can sense her brother is hiding somethingDon't miss Thursday, 28 March's riveting episode of South African soapie Generation...

28/03/2024

Tonight on Smoke and Mirrors: Magolide and Tiny compete against each other

Tonight on Smoke and Mirrors: Magolide and Tiny compete against each otherDon't miss Thursday, 28 March's riveting episode of South African soapie Smoke...

28/03/2024

Tonight on Champions: Washington's struggle takes an unexpected turn

Tonight on Champions: Washington's struggle takes an unexpected turnDon't miss Thursday, 28 March's riveting episode of South African soapie Champio...

28/03/2024

Tonight on Scandal: Tibi's meltdown softens a teacher

Tonight on Scandal: Tibi's meltdown softens a teacherDon't miss Thursday, 28 March's riveting episode of South African soapie Scandal! on e.tv on DS...

28/03/2024

Tonight on Gqeberha: Lulama tells Thulani that she's pregnant with his child

Tonight on Gqeberha: Lulama tells Thulani that she's pregnant with his childDon't miss Thursday, 28 March's riveting episode of South African soapie...

28/03/2024

Tonight on My Brother's Keeper: Ndumiso has the wrong end of the stick

Tonight on My Brother's Keeper: Ndumiso has the wrong end of the stickDon't miss Thursday, 28 March's riveting episode of South African soapie My Br...

28/03/2024

Tonight on Skeem Saam: Lehasa doubles down on his ill-treatment of Pretty

Tonight on Skeem Saam: Lehasa doubles down on his ill-treatment of PrettyDon't miss Thursday, 28 March's riveting episode of South African soapie Skeem ...

28/03/2024

Smoke and Mirrors: Wednesday's episode, 27 March 2024 [VIDEO]

Smoke and Mirrors: Wednesday's episode, 27 March 2024 [VIDEO]Stay up to date with the latest episodes of your favourite South African soapie on The South Af...

28/03/2024

Muvhango: Wednesday's episode, 27 March 2024 [VIDEO]

Muvhango: Wednesday's episode, 27 March 2024 [VIDEO]Stay up to date with the latest episodes of your favourite South African soapie on The South African web...

28/03/2024

Gqeberha: The Empire - Wednesday's episode, 27 March 2024 [VIDEO]

Gqeberha: The Empire - Wednesday's episode, 27 March 2024 [VIDEO]Stay up to date with the latest episodes of your favourite South African soapie on The Sout...

28/03/2024

Skeem Saam: Wednesday's episode, 27 March 2024 [VIDEO]

Skeem Saam: Wednesday's episode, 27 March 2024 [VIDEO]Missed an episode of Skeem Saam? No problem! Watch the latest episode of your favourite South African ...

28/03/2024

House of Zwide: Wednesday's episode, 27 March 2024 [VIDEO]

House of Zwide: Wednesday's episode, 27 March 2024 [VIDEO]Stay up to date with the latest episode of South African soapie House of Zwide on The South Africa...

28/03/2024

My Brother's Keeper: Wednesday's episode, 27 March 2024 [VIDEO]

My Brother's Keeper: Wednesday's episode, 27 March 2024 [VIDEO]Stay up to date with the latest episodes of your favourite South African soapie on The So...

28/03/2024

Uzalo: Wednesday's episode, 27 March 2024 [video]

Uzalo: Wednesday's episode, 27 March 2024 [video]Stay up to date with the latest episodes of your favourite South African soapie on The South African websit...

28/03/2024

Scandal!: Wednesday's episode, 27 March 2024 [VIDEO]

Scandal!: Wednesday's episode, 27 March 2024 [VIDEO]Stay up to date with the latest episodes of your favourite South African soapie on The South African web...

28/03/2024

Umkhokha: The Curse - Wednesday's episode, 27 March 2024 [VIDEO]

Umkhokha: The Curse - Wednesday's episode, 27 March 2024 [VIDEO]Stay up to date with the latest episodes of your favourite South African soapie on The South...

27/03/2024

Tonight on Generations: Hlomla is shaken that he came face to face with the stalker

Tonight on Generations: Hlomla is shaken that he came face to face with the stal...

27/03/2024

Tonight on Smoke and Mirrors: Tiny and Magolide plot to get the Managerial position

Tonight on Smoke and Mirrors: Tiny and Magolide plot to get the Managerial posit...

27/03/2024

Tonight on Skeem Saam: Oritonda gets to shine and it all seems to be going well for him

Tonight on Skeem Saam: Oritonda gets to shine and it all seems to be going well ...

27/03/2024

Tonight on Muvhango: Khumo, who is out on bail, tortures Imani

Tonight on Muvhango: Khumo, who is out on bail, tortures ImaniDon't miss Wednesday, 27 March's riveting episode of South African soapie Muvhango on SABC...

27/03/2024

Scandal!: Tuesday's episode, 26 March 2024 [VIDEO]

Scandal!: Tuesday's episode, 26 March 2024 [VIDEO]Stay up to date with the latest episodes of your favourite South African soapie on The South African websi...

27/03/2024

House of Zwide: Tuesday's episode, 26 March 2024 [VIDEO]

House of Zwide: Tuesday's episode, 26 March 2024 [VIDEO]Stay up to date with the latest episode of South African soapie House of Zwide on The South African ...

27/03/2024

Generations: The Legacy - Tuesday's episode, 26 March 2024 [VIDEO]

Generations: The Legacy - Tuesday's episode, 26 March 2024 [VIDEO]Stay up to date with the latest episodes of your favourite South African soapie on The Sou...

27/03/2024

Streaming today: The Believers' on Netflix - 27 March 2024

Streaming today: The Believers' on Netflix - 27 March 2024Looking for something to watch tonight? Check out all the new streaming releases from all your fa...

27/03/2024

Tonight on Uzalo: Mondli thinks he may have an idea who robbed the police station

Tonight on Uzalo: Mondli thinks he may have an idea who robbed the police statio...

27/03/2024

Tonight on House of Zwide: Faith leaves Funani due to unappreciated support, despite Funani's pleas

Tonight on House of Zwide: Faith leaves Funani due to unappreciated support, des...

27/03/2024

Tonight on Umkhokha: MaMzobe tries to threaten Gabisile to not tell

Tonight on Umkhokha: MaMzobe tries to threaten Gabisile to not tellDon't miss Wednesday, 27 March's riveting episode of South African soapie Umkhokha: T...

27/03/2024

Tonight on My Brother's Keeper: Ndumiso threatens to move out of home over his parent's disrespect of his wife

Tonight on My Brother's Keeper: Ndumiso threatens to move out of home over h...

27/03/2024

Tonight on Gqeberha: Stokkie makes a major move for his future

Tonight on Gqeberha: Stokkie makes a major move for his futureDon't miss Wednesday, 27 March's riveting episode of South African soapie Gqeberha: The Em...

27/03/2024

Tonight on Scandal: A young girl brings a dark cloud into her family's home

Tonight on Scandal: A young girl brings a dark cloud into her family's homeDon't miss Wednesday, 27 March's riveting episode of South African soapie...

27/03/2024

Tonight on Champions: Lebo gets career-changing news, but Ferrari looms large

Tonight on Champions: Lebo gets career-changing news, but Ferrari looms largeDon't miss Wednesday, 27 March's riveting episode of South African soapie C...

27/03/2024

Gqeberha: The Empire - Tuesday's episode, 26 March 2024 [VIDEO]

Gqeberha: The Empire - Tuesday's episode, 26 March 2024 [VIDEO]Stay up to date with the latest episodes of your favourite South African soapie on The South ...

27/03/2024

Muvhango: Tuesday's episode, 26 March 2024 [VIDEO]

Muvhango: Tuesday's episode, 26 March 2024 [VIDEO]Stay up to date with the latest episodes of your favourite South African soapie on The South African websi...

27/03/2024

Smoke and Mirrors: Tuesday's episode, 26 March 2024 [VIDEO]

Smoke and Mirrors: Tuesday's episode, 26 March 2024 [VIDEO]Stay up to date with the latest episodes of your favourite South African soapie on The South Afri...

27/03/2024

Uzalo: Tuesday's episode, 26 March 2024 [video]

Uzalo: Tuesday's episode, 26 March 2024 [video]Stay up to date with the latest episodes of your favourite South African soapie on The South African website....

27/03/2024

My Brother's Keeper: Tuesday's episode, 26 March 2024 [VIDEO]

My Brother's Keeper: Tuesday's episode, 26 March 2024 [VIDEO]Stay up to date with the latest episodes of your favourite South African soapie on The Sout...

27/03/2024

Skeem Saam: Tuesday's episode, 26 March 2024 [VIDEO]

Skeem Saam: Tuesday's episode, 26 March 2024 [VIDEO]Missed an episode of Skeem Saam? No problem! Watch the latest episode of your favourite South African so...

26/03/2024

Tonight on Uzalo: The nightmare at the police station continues for the worst

Tonight on Uzalo: The nightmare at the police station continues for the worstDon't miss Tuesday, 26 March's riveting episode of South African soapie Uza...

26/03/2024

Tonight on Gqeberha: Gubevu cautions Sivuyile against becoming like his father

Tonight on Gqeberha: Gubevu cautions Sivuyile against becoming like his fatherDon't miss Tuesday, 26 March's riveting episode of South African soapie Gq...

26/03/2024

Tonight on My Brother's Keeper: Thoba tells Sbu that Didi likes him but begs his cousin

Tonight on My Brother's Keeper: Thoba tells Sbu that Didi likes him but begs...