iPhone:
Happy Birthday Tape Backup! How old are you today?
Tape:
I'm turning 62 this year! Did you know I was originally created by IBM in their Model 726 back in 1952?
iPhone:
Wow, you are old. Did you know your birth is within five years of the first wireless phone used? The original models were very different and were nothing like the cool, svelte and interactive experience that I provide today. Yes, you can call me the super model of smart phones. What about you? You look kind of frumpy and uninteresting, a little outdated perhaps?
Tape:
You are right that the world has changed dramatically since 1952. Yet unlike your early telephone brethren, my relevance in the data center has stayed consistent and has increased significantly in recent years.
iPhone:
Wait, what? You - relevant? Where is your fancy voice recognition, cloud functionality, leading industrial design and fancy LCD touch sensitive display? You don't look particularly class-leading to me!
Tape:
Aaaahhhh, but yes, Ms. iPhone, while you and your phone colleagues are in a never ending arms race for bigger screens, longer battery life, more features and, must I say, increased bloatware, the reality is that you are all about generating data. Think about where you would be without all the apps and the data they create? How would your experience be different without iCloud, Facebook, Google, Snapchat, etc.? These are the real crown jewels of today's mobile life and guess who helps protect them to make sure that the data is always there? Me.
iPhone:
Yes, but tape uses these weird things called SCSI commands. I have no idea what they are and none of my friends do either. What can't you use a touch UI like I have? I think that I am for cool people and you, well, you are a technology that only nerds would love.
Tape:
Strong words, Ms. iPhone, very strong. Let me just point out some salient facts that might interest you.
I support LTFS which allows people to write to me like I was disk. Basically, the same way they write to you.
iPhone:
Well actually, that does sound kind of cool.
Tape:
I am designed to last for 30 years and so data stored on me will be accessible for decades.
iPhone:
Yeah well, I generally last for about two years, or less when people drop me. You do know that the iPhone 6 is coming don't you?
Tape:
I have a public roadmap that clearly defines two future generations of technology showing capacities increasing by 5x+ and performance just under 3x.
iPhone:
Public roadmap? I have never heard of that. Can you explain it? Oh wait, is it kind of like the leaked and highly suspect images of the iPhone 6? Did I tell you that it was coming out?
Tape:
Yes, yes, I have heard of the iPhone 6 and am looking forward to it. Want to know why? As new phones emerge they have bigger screens and better cameras and you know what that means? More data generated which means more information to store and retain, the vast majority of which ends up being written to tape. Yes, my friend, we are indelibly connected. You may be the good looking girl at the prom, but every two years you get dumped for someone younger and better looking. And me, well, I may not be as cool and socially outgoing, but I am the girl that you want to marry - attractive, consistent, reliable and 100% committed.
iPhone:
Well, I am not sure if I really buy into your metaphor about being replaced every couple of years, but now that I think about it, maybe you are right. That said, it is clear that we are complementary technologies, symbiotic, if you will. Tape, I am glad to have you around and look forward to decades of us working together.
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iPhone: 
