Sony Pixel Power calrec Sony

Gold's Top 10 Topical Christmas Cracker Jokes for 2023 Revealed!

05/12/2023

5th December 2023

TV channel Gold challenged the nation to come up with the best topical Christmas cracker jokes for annual competition - now in its 11th year.

The winning festive joke for 2023: Did you hear about the Christmas cake on display in the British Museum? It was Stollen.

Topics including Barbenheimer, transport strikes and Twitters rebrand to X also inspired the jolly dose of holiday humour this year.

A festive joke about a Christmas cake being stollen from the British Museum has been revealed as the winner of an annual competition to find the best new Christmas cracker gags.

Jokes about Barbie, Elon Musk and HS2 also feature in the list of festive funnies released today...

The winning jokes have been revealed by nations favourite comedy channel Gold as part of its annual festive competition (now in its eleventh year) to find the very best modern Christmas cracker jokes.

Gold challenged the British public to post their original festive gags to X (formerly Twitter), which were then shortlisted by a panel of judges and put to an anonymous public vote of 2,000 British adults.

Golds top 10 funniest new Christmas cracker jokes for 2023 are revealed as:

Did you hear about the Christmas cake on display in the British Museum? It was Stollen.

Why is Elon Musks Christmas dinner so awkward? He cant stop talking about his X.

Why isnt Barbie having turkey for Christmas dinner this year? Chic-Ken is enough.

Why arent any schools allowed to put on a nativity this year? They couldnt find a stable building.

What impact will the 20mph speed limit in Wales have on the charts this year? Chris Rea will be driving home for Easter.

What happened to Mark Zuckerbergs novelty jumper when he had a cage fight with Elon Musk? He was left with nothing but Threads.

Whats the difference between The Polar Express and HS2? Ones a fantasy about a train and the others a film with Tom Hanks.

What did Robert Oppenheimer get Barbie for Christmas? Atomic Kenergy.

Why are the train drivers on the naughty list this year? Because theyve already had three strikes!

How does Margot Robbie decorate her Nativity scene? With 3 wise Ken.

The annual joke competition celebrates Golds seasonal TV scheduling, which includes classic festive episodes of Britains most-loved comedies such as Dads Army, Only Fools and Horses, The Vicar of Dibley and Keeping Up Appearances.

Comedy critic Bruce Dessau, who led the Gold judging panel, says,

Despite the tumultuous times of the past year, the British public has once again found the silver, or in this case gold, lining in some cheerful jokes. This years modern Christmas cracker jokes, spanning from cultural hit Barbenheimer and the misadventures of Parisian bed bugs, to seemingly never-ending strikes and terrible train woes, prove that we are a nation with an unwaveringly inventive sense of humour.

Gerald Casey, Gold channel director, says,

This year has witnessed a wealth of comedic talent in our competition, perfectly combining festive funnies and cultural moments of 2023. We hope this years jokes can provide a hearty laugh alongside Golds Christmas programming, including much-loved classic episodes and our new star-packed scripted comedy Blood Actually, the latest addition to Golds hugely popular Murder, They Hope series.

The author of the winning joke, Chris Douch aged (37) from Oxfordshire, received the top prize of £1,500 towards a holiday, a festive hamper, a box of bespoke Gold Christmas Crackers and a novelty turkey costume from Gold show Blood Actually: A Murder, They Hope Mystery as worn by Lee Mack.

The top six jokes are included within bespoke boxes of Golds Christmas crackers, which will be presented to this years winners.

All the jokes voted on by the British public are original content to the best of Golds knowledge.

Gold marks the festive season with brand new UKTV original Blood Actually: a Murder, They Hope mystery airing on the 16th December at 9pm. Fronted by Johnny Vegas and Sian Gibson, the special welcomes a whole host of special guests including Martin Kemp, Anita Dobson, Rose Ayling-Ellis, Lee Mack, Sherrie Hewson, Sarah Hadland to name a few. Catch up with the previous Murder, They Hope series on Sky and Virgin.

-

Further information please contact: Rosie Barker: rosie.barker@taylorherring.com

Notes for Editors:

About Gold

Dedicated to celebrating the best of British comedy, Gold is the nations favourite comedy channel. Classic British comedy series loved by all the family sit comfortably alongside new UKTV Original scripted comedies crafted by some of the nations finest comedic minds, such as Dads Army: The Lost Episodes, Murder, They Hope, The Cockfields and Sandylands. Meanwhile Golds unscripted series reunite the stars and partnerships of the nations best-loved shows to get to the heart of what makes them so evergreen - from passion projects such as French & Saunders: Funny Women, Billy Connolly Does..., Lenny Henrys Race Through Comedy and Ricky and Ralfs Very Northern Road Trip to the retrospective likes of dinnerladies diaries and The Fast Show: Just A Load of Blooming Catchphrases.

Gold is the perfect tonic to make you laugh whatever the time of day.

Gold.uktv.co.uk / @goldchannel

About UKTV

UKTV has been at the forefront of branded television for over 30 years, entertaining the nation with programmes they love. Its leading brands - Dave, Gold, W, Drama, Alibi, Eden and Yesterday - span comedy, entertainment, natural history, factual and scripted drama, and are delivered to audiences through UKTV Play, Freeview, Sky, Virgin Media, BT, TalkTalk, YouView, Freesat and Amazon Fire. The broadcaster is a significant investor in British creativity and is committed to working with new and established writers, directors and programme-makers.

UKTV is part of BBC Studios, the UKs most-awarded production company, a world
LINK: https://corporate.uktv.co.uk/news/article/golds-top-10-topical-christm...
See more stories from uktv

Most recent headlines

10/12/2025

Securing the Future of Broadcast TV in the U.S.

With the Federal Communications Commission working on new rules for the deployment of NextGen TV, next year promises to be an important one for both the future ...

10/12/2025

Former Charter CEO Tom Rutledge to Receive Cable Centers Bresnan Award

DENVER Tom Rutledge, director emeritus and former president and CEO of Charter Communications, will be honored with the 2026 Bresnan Ethics in Business Award by...

10/12/2025

Cadent Acquires YouTube Measurement Firm VuePlanner

NEW YORK Novocap's Cadent has acquired VuePlanner, a YouTube video ad planning, optimization, and measurement company in a deal that will help Cadent expand...

09/12/2025

2025 Sports Broadcasting Hall of Fame: Pam Oliver, Sideline Icon Who Redefined the Role

2025 Sports Broadcasting Hall of Fame: Pam Oliver, Sideline Icon Who Redefined t...

09/12/2025

SVG Summit 2025 Technology Exhibits Preview, Part 2

SVG Summit 2025 Technology Exhibits Preview, Part 2By Jason Dachman, Editorial Director, U.S. Tuesday, December 9, 2025 - 7:17 am Print This Story | Subscr...

09/12/2025

SVG Summit 2025 Preview: Cloud Production Workshop Spotlights Live and Non-Live Workflows in the Cloud

SVG Summit 2025 Preview: Cloud Production Workshop Spotlights Live and Non-Live ...

09/12/2025

Next-Generation Content Protection: Multi-Technology Security is Integral to Combating New Threats

Next-generation content protection: Multi-technology security is integral to com...

09/12/2025

CBS Sports Provides One-of-a-Kind Production' for UEFA Champions League Crossover Event

CBS Sports Provides One-of-a-Kind Production' for UEFA Champions League Cro...

09/12/2025

Spanish Professional Basketball League Relies on NETGEAR AV, MAM Tech for Seamless Production

Spanish Professional Basketball League Relies on NETGEAR AV, MAM Tech for Seamle...

09/12/2025

SVG Sit-Down: St. Thomas's Mike Gallagher and Casey Eakins on the Tommies' Bold Leap to Division I and How Video Plays a Key Role

SVG Sit-Down: St. Thomas's Mike Gallagher and Casey Eakins on the Tommies...

09/12/2025

Free Registration for the 2025 SVG Summit Closes Today at 5 p.m. ET!

Free Registration for the 2025 SVG Summit Closes Today at 5 p.m. ET!After the deadline, tickets will cost $150 to attend the eventBy SVG Staff Tuesday, Decemb...

09/12/2025

University of St. Thomas Ushers in Division I Era With New Arena and a Broadcast Operation Built for the Big Time

University of St. Thomas Ushers in Division I Era With New Arena and a Broadcast...

09/12/2025

Spotify Expands Music Videos in Beta to Premium Users in the US and Canada

For decades, music videos have done more than just accompany a song; they've shaped style, started conversations, and helped us fall in love with our favori...

09/12/2025

Leading the Charge: L3Harris' Advanced EW Technologies for Superior Battlefield Advantage

For decades, customers have turned to L3Harris capabilities in electronic warfar...

09/12/2025

L3Harris Propulsion Solutions: Securing the High Ground in Space

L3Harris propulsion systems enable agile maneuvering and resilience for U.S. spacecraft, supporting national security and mission success in the evolving space ...

09/12/2025

L3Harris Successfully Completes Critical Design Review of Key Components for Japan's New Geostationary Meteorological Satellite

L3Harris Technologies' imaging and sounding instruments will play a critical...

09/12/2025

James Shears Joins ThinkAnalytics as Senior VP, Advertising

LOS ANGELES James Shears has joined ThinkAnalytics as senior vice president, advertising, tasked with leading global strategy and commercial expansion of the co...

09/12/2025

Kathleen Kirby, Heidi Raphael Join Media Institute Board

VIENNA, Va. The Media Institute, a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization specializing in communications policy and the First Amendment, has named Kathleen Kirby o...

09/12/2025

Hollywood's Ecosystem for Combating Piracy

Throughout its century-plus existence, the motion picture industry has had to fight battles on multiple fronts to protect its content from piracy. From protecti...

09/12/2025

Football Shifts TV Viewing Towards Ad Supported Services

NEW YORK Fueled by football season, ad supported TV viewing in Q3 peaked in September, representing 74.7% of overall TV viewership in that month, per Nielsen...

09/12/2025

Digital Alert Systems Now Offers DC Power Option for DASDEC-III

LYNDONVILLE, N.Y. Digital Alert Systems has introduced the DAS3-DC-PS, a new DC power supply option for its DASDEC-III emergency alert system. Designed to meet ...

09/12/2025

Macky Beheshti Joins Advanced Systems Group as Director o...

Advanced Systems Group, LLC (ASG), a technology and services provider for media creatives and content owners, announced the appointment of Macky Beheshti as Dir...

09/12/2025

Device Solutions Inc and Triveni Digital Secure Patent fo...

Triveni Digital and Device Solutions Inc today announced that the United States Patent and Trademark Office granted them a new patent for their novel ATSC 3.0 r...

09/12/2025

ThinkAnalytics appoints James Shears as SVP of Advertisin...

ThinkAnalytics, the global leader in AI-powered data analytics for TV and streaming, today announced the appointment of James Shears as Senior Vice President of...

09/12/2025

Dot Group Partners with SingleStore to Deliver Real-Time...

European data management specialists appointed as SingleStore champion partner, bringing unified real-time transaction, vector and analytics capabilities to org...

09/12/2025

Broadcast Solutions creates new business to lead on workf...

Broadcast Solutions, the leading systems integration group, has launched a new business, aimed at providing consultancy and design services across the media ind...

09/12/2025

FCC Delays Implementation of Foreign Sponsorship Rules

WASHINGTON The Federal Communications Commission's Media Bureau has once again delayed implementation of sponsorship identification requirements for foreign...

09/12/2025

#GALSNGEAR Announces 2026 Leadership Retreats

WASHINGTON #GALSNGEAR has announced two major leadership retreats in early 2026 that the group said are designed to equip women in media, entertainment, and tec...

09/12/2025

Cox Media Group, Verizon Trade Barbs Over Possible Blackout

WASHINGTON With a Dec. 15 deadline looming for a new retransmission consent and carriage deal between Cox and Verizon, the two parties have started trading barb...

09/12/2025

Samba TV Secures New Funding of up to $60 Million

SAN FRANCISCO Samba TV has announced that it has secured new financing from Horizon Technology Finance Corporation, an affiliate of Monroe Capital, with an init...

09/12/2025

Survey: 75% of Cord-Cutters Ditched a Streaming Subscription in 2025

Many cord-cutters looking to reduce their monthly cable or satellite bills are also cutting back on streaming costs, according to new research from All About Co...

09/12/2025

Shure Takes Center Stage at CMAs, Latin Grammys

LAS VEGAS and NASHVILLE, Tenn. Shure technology played a critical role during the broadcast productions of the 59th Annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena i...

09/12/2025

Nixer to address AV market demands for speed visibility a...

Unveiling of new CV1, web-browser workflows and Milan roadmap for mission-critical AV environments Nixer Pro Audio will return to Integrated Systems Europe (IS...

09/12/2025

How to Prepare for Daylight Saving Time in WO Automation for Radio

Spring Forward Are you ready to spring forward? The following steps will automate your transition from Standard Time to Daylight Saving Time. Ensure all WO Aut...

09/12/2025

Judy Murray calls for PE to be a priority for all schools in Scotland to support girls develop leadership skills and engage in sports

Tuesday 9 December 2025 Judy Murray calls for PE to be a priority for all schoo...

09/12/2025

Kyocera and Rohde & Schwarz demonstrate OTA characterization of mmWave PAAM at CES 2026

Kyocera and Rohde & Schwarz demonstrate OTA characterization of mmWave PAAM at C...

09/12/2025

Riedel and Racing Electronics Announce Strategic Partnership to Revolutionize U.S. Motorsport Communications

Wuppertal December 9, 2025 Riedel and Racing Electronics Announce Strategic Pa...

09/12/2025

Verified: LinkedIn crosses 100M member milestone

Verified: LinkedIn crosses 100M member milestone From LinkedIn Published on Dec 9, 2025 Categories: Company News, Featured News LinkedIn Corporate Communi...

09/12/2025

Highlights of the Year 2025

Another year, another 12 months of amazing adventures. We are pleased to bring you our Highlights of the Year 2025. We've worked hard and played hard this...

09/12/2025

Redefining Remote Production Through Cloud-Connected Workflows

Original article published in TV Tech: https://www.tvtechnology.com/equipment/bmg-redefines-remote-production-through-cloud-connected-workflows When I started ...

09/12/2025

N-Series wireless mic system now available in the United States

DPA Microphones today announces the immediate availability of its new N-Series Digital Wireless Microphone System for customers throughout the U.S. In addition ...

09/12/2025

Building Confidence in Retail Media: A Q&A with WPP Media's Jason Wescott

Jason, before we get into the detail, what first got you involved in retail media standards? And how did you come to chair IAB Europe's Retail and Commerce ...

09/12/2025

She can dance, she can jive: Rose of Tralee Katelyn Cummins revealed as third contestant for Dancing with the Stars 2026

Current Rose of Tralee Katelyn Cummins has been revealed as the third contestant...

09/12/2025

December 08, 2025

An easier approach to recreate the powerful nerve-blocking molecule found in shellfish A Scripps Research-led study resolves the challenge of synthesizing saxit...

08/12/2025

SVG Summit 2025 Technology Exhibits Preview, Part 1

SVG Summit 2025 Technology Exhibits Preview, Part 1By SVG Staff Monday, December 8, 2025 - 6:56 am Print This Story | Subscribe Story Highlights The 2025...

08/12/2025

2025 Sports Broadcasting Hall of Fame: Bill Rasmussen, the Entrepreneur Who Dreamed Sports Into a New World

2025 Sports Broadcasting Hall of Fame: Bill Rasmussen, the Entrepreneur Who Drea...

08/12/2025

SVG Summit 2025 Preview: Live Production Innovation Workshop Goes Deep on ST 2110, MXL, AR/XR, and More

SVG Summit 2025 Preview: Live Production Innovation Workshop Goes Deep on ST 211...

08/12/2025

#GALSNGEAR Announces East, West Leadership Retreats for 2026

#GALSNGEAR Announces East, West Leadership Retreats for 2026By Ken Kerschbaumer Monday, December 8, 2025 - 9:10 am Print This Story | Subscribe Story High...

08/12/2025

MediaKind Acquiring Harmonic's Video Business to Create New Streaming-Video Heavyweight

MediaKind Acquiring Harmonic's Video Business to Create New Streaming-Video ...