5th December 2023
TV channel Gold challenged the nation to come up with the best topical Christmas cracker jokes for annual competition - now in its 11th year.
The winning festive joke for 2023: Did you hear about the Christmas cake on display in the British Museum? It was Stollen.
Topics including Barbenheimer, transport strikes and Twitters rebrand to X also inspired the jolly dose of holiday humour this year.
A festive joke about a Christmas cake being stollen from the British Museum has been revealed as the winner of an annual competition to find the best new Christmas cracker gags.
Jokes about Barbie, Elon Musk and HS2 also feature in the list of festive funnies released today...
The winning jokes have been revealed by nations favourite comedy channel Gold as part of its annual festive competition (now in its eleventh year) to find the very best modern Christmas cracker jokes.
Gold challenged the British public to post their original festive gags to X (formerly Twitter), which were then shortlisted by a panel of judges and put to an anonymous public vote of 2,000 British adults.
Golds top 10 funniest new Christmas cracker jokes for 2023 are revealed as:
Did you hear about the Christmas cake on display in the British Museum? It was Stollen.
Why is Elon Musks Christmas dinner so awkward? He cant stop talking about his X.
Why isnt Barbie having turkey for Christmas dinner this year? Chic-Ken is enough.
Why arent any schools allowed to put on a nativity this year? They couldnt find a stable building.
What impact will the 20mph speed limit in Wales have on the charts this year? Chris Rea will be driving home for Easter.
What happened to Mark Zuckerbergs novelty jumper when he had a cage fight with Elon Musk? He was left with nothing but Threads.
Whats the difference between The Polar Express and HS2? Ones a fantasy about a train and the others a film with Tom Hanks.
What did Robert Oppenheimer get Barbie for Christmas? Atomic Kenergy.
Why are the train drivers on the naughty list this year? Because theyve already had three strikes!
How does Margot Robbie decorate her Nativity scene? With 3 wise Ken.
The annual joke competition celebrates Golds seasonal TV scheduling, which includes classic festive episodes of Britains most-loved comedies such as Dads Army, Only Fools and Horses, The Vicar of Dibley and Keeping Up Appearances.
Comedy critic Bruce Dessau, who led the Gold judging panel, says,
Despite the tumultuous times of the past year, the British public has once again found the silver, or in this case gold, lining in some cheerful jokes. This years modern Christmas cracker jokes, spanning from cultural hit Barbenheimer and the misadventures of Parisian bed bugs, to seemingly never-ending strikes and terrible train woes, prove that we are a nation with an unwaveringly inventive sense of humour.
Gerald Casey, Gold channel director, says,
This year has witnessed a wealth of comedic talent in our competition, perfectly combining festive funnies and cultural moments of 2023. We hope this years jokes can provide a hearty laugh alongside Golds Christmas programming, including much-loved classic episodes and our new star-packed scripted comedy Blood Actually, the latest addition to Golds hugely popular Murder, They Hope series.
The author of the winning joke, Chris Douch aged (37) from Oxfordshire, received the top prize of £1,500 towards a holiday, a festive hamper, a box of bespoke Gold Christmas Crackers and a novelty turkey costume from Gold show Blood Actually: A Murder, They Hope Mystery as worn by Lee Mack.
The top six jokes are included within bespoke boxes of Golds Christmas crackers, which will be presented to this years winners.
All the jokes voted on by the British public are original content to the best of Golds knowledge.
Gold marks the festive season with brand new UKTV original Blood Actually: a Murder, They Hope mystery airing on the 16th December at 9pm. Fronted by Johnny Vegas and Sian Gibson, the special welcomes a whole host of special guests including Martin Kemp, Anita Dobson, Rose Ayling-Ellis, Lee Mack, Sherrie Hewson, Sarah Hadland to name a few. Catch up with the previous Murder, They Hope series on Sky and Virgin.
-
Further information please contact: Rosie Barker: rosie.barker@taylorherring.com
Notes for Editors:
About Gold
Dedicated to celebrating the best of British comedy, Gold is the nations favourite comedy channel. Classic British comedy series loved by all the family sit comfortably alongside new UKTV Original scripted comedies crafted by some of the nations finest comedic minds, such as Dads Army: The Lost Episodes, Murder, They Hope, The Cockfields and Sandylands. Meanwhile Golds unscripted series reunite the stars and partnerships of the nations best-loved shows to get to the heart of what makes them so evergreen - from passion projects such as French & Saunders: Funny Women, Billy Connolly Does..., Lenny Henrys Race Through Comedy and Ricky and Ralfs Very Northern Road Trip to the retrospective likes of dinnerladies diaries and The Fast Show: Just A Load of Blooming Catchphrases.
Gold is the perfect tonic to make you laugh whatever the time of day.
Gold.uktv.co.uk / @goldchannel
About UKTV
UKTV has been at the forefront of branded television for over 30 years, entertaining the nation with programmes they love. Its leading brands - Dave, Gold, W, Drama, Alibi, Eden and Yesterday - span comedy, entertainment, natural history, factual and scripted drama, and are delivered to audiences through UKTV Play, Freeview, Sky, Virgin Media, BT, TalkTalk, YouView, Freesat and Amazon Fire. The broadcaster is a significant investor in British creativity and is committed to working with new and established writers, directors and programme-makers.
UKTV is part of BBC Studios, the UKs most-awarded production company, a world
Europe Stories
05/01/2027
Worlds first 802.15.4ab-UWB chip verified by Calterah and Rohde & Schwarz to be ...
04/08/2026
Dalet, a leading technology and service provider for media-rich organizations, t...
04/07/2026
April 7 2026, 19:00 (PDT) Detective Conan: Fallen Angel of the Highway Opens in...
01/06/2026
January 6 2026, 05:30 (PST) Dolby Sets the New Standard for Premium Entertainment at CES 2026
Throughout the week, Dolby brings to life the latest innovatio...
07/05/2026
Seit dem Start im Jahr 2023 hat DJ (Beta) das personalisierte H rerlebnis von 94...
07/05/2026
Da quando stata presentata nel 2023, DJ (beta) ha aiutato a definire un'esperienza d'ascolto pi personalizzata per 94 milioni di utenti Spotify Premi...
07/05/2026
Since launching in 2023, DJ (beta) has helped shape a more personalized listenin...
07/05/2026
Desde o lan amento em 2023, o DJ (beta) j ajudou a deixar a experi ncia de ouvi...
07/05/2026
From our earliest days, Spotify has been built on a simple principle: Great audio should be easy to reach. It's what's driven us to expand from music to...
07/05/2026
Asian and Pacific Islander artists continue to shape the global soundscape, pushing creative boundaries and connecting with fans worldwide. This Asian & Pacific...
07/05/2026
Company announce long-requested choir instrument
In the latest expansion of their Symphonic Elements series, UJAM have introduced an all-new vocal instrumen...
07/05/2026
Modular-inspired sound generation with digital control
Buchla have introduced Ziggy, a new compact synthesizer built around the company's complex oscill...
07/05/2026
Combines analogue voices with digital synthesis and sequencing
Polyend have announced Drums, a new hybrid analogue and digital drum machine that combines sy...
07/05/2026
Control surface now officially supports four DAWs
When Nektar launched the Panorama CS12 control surface, it worked exclusively with Apple's Logic Pro, ...
07/05/2026
In the first quarter 2026, SGL Carbon generated consolidated sales of 184.5 million, which was 49.8 million, or 21.3%, lower than in the prior year (Q1 2025: ...
07/05/2026
Rohde & Schwarz and Greenerwave achieve precise and fast ESA antenna characteriz...
07/05/2026
January 8, 2024
Colorfront (colorfront.com), a leader in high-performance, on-s...
07/05/2026
February 9, 2024
Colorfront (colorfront.com), the multi-award-winning pioneer i...
07/05/2026
March 20, 2024
NAB 2024, Las Vegas - Colorfront (colorfront.com), the multi-awa...
07/05/2026
April 1, 2025
CINEMACON, APRIL 1, 2025 - Colorfront (colorfront.com), the multi-award-winning developer of high-performance dailies/transcoding/streaming syste...
07/05/2026
June 15, 2025
Colorfront (colorfront.com), an Academy and Emmy Award-winning de...
07/05/2026
June 15, 2025
Colorfront participated in the ICTA Barcelona Cinema Technology Summit on Sunday, June 15, 2025. Held at The Phenomena Experience, the event feat...
07/05/2026
July 1, 2025
Colorfront (colorfront.com), the multi-award-winning developer of high-performance dailies/transcoding/streaming systems for motion pictures, OTT,...
07/05/2026
July 1, 2025
Passion and dedication will take you places. Come with us on a short trip to the heart of India, where Annapurna Studios is living-up to the inspi...
07/05/2026
July 3, 2025
Colorfront (colorfront.com), the multi-award-winning developer of high-performance dailies/transcoding/streaming systems for motion pictures, OTT,...
07/05/2026
September 1, 2025
IBC 2025, Amsterdam - Colorfront (colorfront.com) - the Acade...
07/05/2026
April 17, 2026
LOS ANGELES - April 17, 2026 - Colorfront today announced Colorf...
07/05/2026
April 23, 2026
NAB 2026, Las Vegas - the Academy and Emmy Award-winning develop...
07/05/2026
Thursday 7 May 2026
Sky continues Sphere Abacus partnership with The Death of S...
07/05/2026
Thursday 7 May 2026
Sky Confirms Saturday Night Live UK will return this September for Series Two
Saturday Night Live UK will return for a second series, as S...
07/05/2026
Save 20% on the Sky Glass Gen 2 and Sky Glass Air TVsThursday 7 May 2026
How to watch the World Cup on Sky Glass
Tune into the World Cup on the BBC and ITV vi...
07/05/2026
Production sound mixer Dirk Sciarrotta has mixed Family Feud for 28 seasons. Thats up to 200 syndicated episodes per year, plus primetime celebrity specials - a...
07/05/2026
As audience expectations have evolved, Owen has stopped trying to hide microphones or excuse amplification. Instead, he treats sound as a fully immersive part o...
07/05/2026
Well known Irish faces pushed to the edge in new series of
Uncharted with Ray G...
07/05/2026
RT will premiere A Traveller Family, a compelling new documentary exploring the...
06/05/2026
New pricing tiers for vocal/dialogue restoration tool
NoiseWorks Audio's AI-powered vocal and dialogue processing plug-in is now available in three diff...
06/05/2026
Popular mixing & routing software overhauled
Following a recent public beta test, RME have launched the final release version of the powerful mixing and rou...
06/05/2026
New SOS Video Feature
Focusrites ISA C8X is a milestone product that brings together the companys analogue heritage and their expertise in digital audio. Yo...
06/05/2026
06 May 2026
VEON's Kyivstar Authorized to Resell Starlink for Businesses & ...
06/05/2026
UKTV has secured the exclusive rights to the early back catalogue of iconic Australian drama series Neighbours, following a landmark content deal with Fremantle...
06/05/2026
Wednesday 6 May 2026
Sky commissions feature documentary to mark 10th anniversa...
06/05/2026
Wednesday 6 May 2026
Sky and Formula 1 agree long-term partnership across UK, Ireland and Italy
Sky in the UK & Ireland to remain the home of Formula 1 until ...
06/05/2026
Sky Zero Footprint Fund-backed TV campaign launches nationwide, supported by new...
06/05/2026
Wuppertal May 6, 2026
Riedel Expands Leadership Structure, Appoints Marc Engro...
06/05/2026
SAN JOSE, Calif. - May 6, 2026 - Harmonic (NASDAQ: HLIT) today announced its latest broadband innovations for ANGA COM 2026, highlighting its vision for a new e...
06/05/2026
Statement from Rupert Murdoch, Chairman Emeritus, Fox Corporation on Ted Turner&...
06/05/2026
Friday 8 May on RT One and RT Player
Meet the NSPCA team caring for and protecting animals in need in this six-part series
Fly on the wall, six-part series...
05/05/2026
Experts from the world of academia, tech, business, politics and media convened for a Thomson Talks at the Cambridge Disinformation Summit in April. It's th...
5th December 2023 
