5th December 2023
TV channel Gold challenged the nation to come up with the best topical Christmas cracker jokes for annual competition - now in its 11th year.
The winning festive joke for 2023: Did you hear about the Christmas cake on display in the British Museum? It was Stollen.
Topics including Barbenheimer, transport strikes and Twitters rebrand to X also inspired the jolly dose of holiday humour this year.
A festive joke about a Christmas cake being stollen from the British Museum has been revealed as the winner of an annual competition to find the best new Christmas cracker gags.
Jokes about Barbie, Elon Musk and HS2 also feature in the list of festive funnies released today...
The winning jokes have been revealed by nations favourite comedy channel Gold as part of its annual festive competition (now in its eleventh year) to find the very best modern Christmas cracker jokes.
Gold challenged the British public to post their original festive gags to X (formerly Twitter), which were then shortlisted by a panel of judges and put to an anonymous public vote of 2,000 British adults.
Golds top 10 funniest new Christmas cracker jokes for 2023 are revealed as:
Did you hear about the Christmas cake on display in the British Museum? It was Stollen.
Why is Elon Musks Christmas dinner so awkward? He cant stop talking about his X.
Why isnt Barbie having turkey for Christmas dinner this year? Chic-Ken is enough.
Why arent any schools allowed to put on a nativity this year? They couldnt find a stable building.
What impact will the 20mph speed limit in Wales have on the charts this year? Chris Rea will be driving home for Easter.
What happened to Mark Zuckerbergs novelty jumper when he had a cage fight with Elon Musk? He was left with nothing but Threads.
Whats the difference between The Polar Express and HS2? Ones a fantasy about a train and the others a film with Tom Hanks.
What did Robert Oppenheimer get Barbie for Christmas? Atomic Kenergy.
Why are the train drivers on the naughty list this year? Because theyve already had three strikes!
How does Margot Robbie decorate her Nativity scene? With 3 wise Ken.
The annual joke competition celebrates Golds seasonal TV scheduling, which includes classic festive episodes of Britains most-loved comedies such as Dads Army, Only Fools and Horses, The Vicar of Dibley and Keeping Up Appearances.
Comedy critic Bruce Dessau, who led the Gold judging panel, says,
Despite the tumultuous times of the past year, the British public has once again found the silver, or in this case gold, lining in some cheerful jokes. This years modern Christmas cracker jokes, spanning from cultural hit Barbenheimer and the misadventures of Parisian bed bugs, to seemingly never-ending strikes and terrible train woes, prove that we are a nation with an unwaveringly inventive sense of humour.
Gerald Casey, Gold channel director, says,
This year has witnessed a wealth of comedic talent in our competition, perfectly combining festive funnies and cultural moments of 2023. We hope this years jokes can provide a hearty laugh alongside Golds Christmas programming, including much-loved classic episodes and our new star-packed scripted comedy Blood Actually, the latest addition to Golds hugely popular Murder, They Hope series.
The author of the winning joke, Chris Douch aged (37) from Oxfordshire, received the top prize of £1,500 towards a holiday, a festive hamper, a box of bespoke Gold Christmas Crackers and a novelty turkey costume from Gold show Blood Actually: A Murder, They Hope Mystery as worn by Lee Mack.
The top six jokes are included within bespoke boxes of Golds Christmas crackers, which will be presented to this years winners.
All the jokes voted on by the British public are original content to the best of Golds knowledge.
Gold marks the festive season with brand new UKTV original Blood Actually: a Murder, They Hope mystery airing on the 16th December at 9pm. Fronted by Johnny Vegas and Sian Gibson, the special welcomes a whole host of special guests including Martin Kemp, Anita Dobson, Rose Ayling-Ellis, Lee Mack, Sherrie Hewson, Sarah Hadland to name a few. Catch up with the previous Murder, They Hope series on Sky and Virgin.
-
Further information please contact: Rosie Barker: rosie.barker@taylorherring.com
Notes for Editors:
About Gold
Dedicated to celebrating the best of British comedy, Gold is the nations favourite comedy channel. Classic British comedy series loved by all the family sit comfortably alongside new UKTV Original scripted comedies crafted by some of the nations finest comedic minds, such as Dads Army: The Lost Episodes, Murder, They Hope, The Cockfields and Sandylands. Meanwhile Golds unscripted series reunite the stars and partnerships of the nations best-loved shows to get to the heart of what makes them so evergreen - from passion projects such as French & Saunders: Funny Women, Billy Connolly Does..., Lenny Henrys Race Through Comedy and Ricky and Ralfs Very Northern Road Trip to the retrospective likes of dinnerladies diaries and The Fast Show: Just A Load of Blooming Catchphrases.
Gold is the perfect tonic to make you laugh whatever the time of day.
Gold.uktv.co.uk / @goldchannel
About UKTV
UKTV has been at the forefront of branded television for over 30 years, entertaining the nation with programmes they love. Its leading brands - Dave, Gold, W, Drama, Alibi, Eden and Yesterday - span comedy, entertainment, natural history, factual and scripted drama, and are delivered to audiences through UKTV Play, Freeview, Sky, Virgin Media, BT, TalkTalk, YouView, Freesat and Amazon Fire. The broadcaster is a significant investor in British creativity and is committed to working with new and established writers, directors and programme-makers.
UKTV is part of BBC Studios, the UKs most-awarded production company, a world
Europe Stories
05/01/2027
Worlds first 802.15.4ab-UWB chip verified by Calterah and Rohde & Schwarz to be ...
06/09/2026
June 9 2026, 23:00 (PDT) Dolby and MagentaTV Bring Fans Closer to the FIFA Worl...
04/08/2026
Dalet, a leading technology and service provider for media-rich organizations, t...
04/07/2026
April 7 2026, 19:00 (PDT) Detective Conan: Fallen Angel of the Highway Opens in...
13/06/2026
Latest expansion pack includes 252 presets
Devious Machines have recently introduced another expansion for their powerful multi-effects plug-in, Infiltrator...
13/06/2026
Create custom DAW/plug-in controllers using prompts
MetaGrid have recently introduced an all-new AI Builder function to their touchscreen-based control surf...
12/06/2026
Simple Steps to Better Acoustics - Taming The Small Room
Most of us mix in spare rooms and small spaces, where the acoustics fight us at every turn. At Gear...
12/06/2026
Latest addition expands vintage-inspired effects palette
Meris' Ottobit pedal range draws its inspiration from vintage gaming consoles, and the latest a...
12/06/2026
Soundbox-based chamber strings series expanded
Sonora Cinematic have just announced the launch of the second instalment in their Soundbox-based chamber stri...
12/06/2026
With John Daro, DI Colourist at Warner Bros. Water Tower Color Tuesday 23 June, 10am-1pm or 3-6pm
Restar Corporation
Tokyo
Register here
John Daro is the ...
12/06/2026
Meet The Grumpy Onion Ireland's newest online sensation, all he wants is to ...
12/06/2026
RT stays Up All Night with brand new daily 2026 FIFA World Cup Vodcast
Adding to the fun around 2026 FIFA World Cup tournament, RT has launched a brand new d...
11/06/2026
As podcast formats evolve in the streaming era, podcasting needs updated, transp...
11/06/2026
As Spotify's global RADAR program enters its sixth year in Italy, a new class of artists is stepping into the spotlight. Today, we're announcing the six...
11/06/2026
Pride Month is a time for celebration, reflection, and amplifying the diverse stories and perspectives from the LGBTQIA+ community that enrich our world. To hel...
11/06/2026
First in new line of muted string libraries
VSL have just announced the launch of two new string libraries that represent the first two instalments in a new...
11/06/2026
New colour option for 61-key Launchkey MK4
At Superbooth 2025, Novation introduced the Launchkey Mini 37 White and Launchkey 49 White, bringing an additiona...
11/06/2026
Larger, but still compact!
Arturia's popular compact MIDI controller keyboard is now available in a, well, slightly less compact version! The new MiniLa...
11/06/2026
Eurosatory 2026: Rohde & Schwarz shapes the new-generation battlefield Rohde & Schwarz unveils next generation SIGINT/EW and CUAS solutions on uncrewed system...
11/06/2026
Rohde & Schwarz unveils NEMACS - Directional, ultra secure connectivity for the ...
11/06/2026
Thursday 11 June 2026
Daisy May Cooper rallies the nation ahead of ICC Women's T20 World CupTurn on cookies to view this content. Go to Privacy options and...
11/06/2026
Summer solstice shows from C il House and Late Date from 9pm on Saturday 20 Jun...
10/06/2026
Get Hands-On with Interfaces & Mic Preamp Brands
If youre after a new interface or preamp, then GearExpo UK is the place to be! Well have a whole host of au...
10/06/2026
November 13-14 2026, The Midway, San Francisco
Following their recent rebranding, MONO Music Conference (formerly Music Expo) have officially announced thei...
10/06/2026
Debut instrument free for limited time
deFORM is the debut release from newly founded developer ebbandflow, and it's being offered as a free download fo...
10/06/2026
Rohde & Schwarz and TRUMPF advance laser-based drone defense with THORIS LCS Rohde & Schwarz is showcasing THORIS at ILA 2026: A sovereign, end to end counter...
10/06/2026
MAHLE and Rohde & Schwarz develop application for sensor testing of modern drive...
10/06/2026
10 Jun 2026
VEON's Banglalink Brings Every World Cup 2026 Match to Football...
10/06/2026
Wednesday 10 June 2026
How to watch every ICC Women's T20 World Cup 2026 match live on Sky Sports
Where is the ICC Women's T20 World Cup 2026 availabl...
10/06/2026
Wednesday 10 June 2026
P RLA brings first-ever Beautifully Clean Oral Care'...
10/06/2026
Wednesday 10 June 2026
Sky reveals pulse-pounding first teaser trailer for upco...
10/06/2026
Wuppertal June 10, 2026
Riedel Artist at the Heart of the 14th World Live Neurovascular ConferenceAt the 14th World Live Neurovascular Conference (WLNC) in Li...
09/06/2026
Last month, Spotify hosted PURE FLOWERS LIVE, a special event celebrating the re...
09/06/2026
Last month, RADAR U.K. artist Skye Newman took the stage in East London for a sp...
09/06/2026
Company to cease operating on 30 June 2026
Australian loudspeaker and amplifier manufacturer Wayne Jones Audio have announced that after much consideration,...
09/06/2026
Increases low-end weight and character
The latest plug-in release from Sheffield-based fedDSP aims to offer an all-in-one solution for users in search of mo...
09/06/2026
Introduces AI Studio Assistant, Moises Studio integration & more
Fender Studio have just announced the launch of a significant update that brings an array o...
09/06/2026
The BBC has found its Hercule Poirot.
After Deadline revealed last month that t...
09/06/2026
Filming to take place in Holmfirth
9th June 2026, London: U&GOLD is heading bac...
09/06/2026
X-Rite Pantone Launches Offset360 to Modernize Color Control Across Existing Pre...
09/06/2026
09 Jun 2026
VEON Appoints Serkan Ozturk as Chief of Staff & Strategy Officer Dubai and New York, June 9, 2026 - VEON Ltd. (NASDAQ: VEON), a global digital oper...
09/06/2026
Tuesday 9 June 2026
Katie Price: Nothing to Hide, a candid and unfiltered accou...
09/06/2026
Enni Continues to Rely on Arvato Systems - And Will Be Using AEP.EnerS4 Billing Solution
Arvato Systems to implement transformation project for SAP S/4HANA Ut...
09/06/2026
These special programmes will highlight RT 's connection with the Irish diaspora
This year, RT is marking 100 years of public broadcasting in Ireland with...
08/06/2026
At Spotify, our commitment to the LGBTQIA community is year-round. Through GLOW, our global music program, we celebrate and amplify the contributions of queer ...
08/06/2026
Get Hands-on With Keyboard & Synth Brands
GearExpo UK wouldn't be complete without some synth action, and we've got some of the industry's most ...
08/06/2026
50 popular in-ear monitoring system profiles added
The latest update for IK Multimedia's headphone-correction system has just arrived, and introduces ca...
08/06/2026
Manny Marroquin signature cans upgraded with SLAM Technology
The flagship model in Audeze's Manny Marroquin Signature Series has just been treated to an...
5th December 2023 
