5th December 2023
TV channel Gold challenged the nation to come up with the best topical Christmas cracker jokes for annual competition - now in its 11th year.
The winning festive joke for 2023: Did you hear about the Christmas cake on display in the British Museum? It was Stollen.
Topics including Barbenheimer, transport strikes and Twitters rebrand to X also inspired the jolly dose of holiday humour this year.
A festive joke about a Christmas cake being stollen from the British Museum has been revealed as the winner of an annual competition to find the best new Christmas cracker gags.
Jokes about Barbie, Elon Musk and HS2 also feature in the list of festive funnies released today...
The winning jokes have been revealed by nations favourite comedy channel Gold as part of its annual festive competition (now in its eleventh year) to find the very best modern Christmas cracker jokes.
Gold challenged the British public to post their original festive gags to X (formerly Twitter), which were then shortlisted by a panel of judges and put to an anonymous public vote of 2,000 British adults.
Golds top 10 funniest new Christmas cracker jokes for 2023 are revealed as:
Did you hear about the Christmas cake on display in the British Museum? It was Stollen.
Why is Elon Musks Christmas dinner so awkward? He cant stop talking about his X.
Why isnt Barbie having turkey for Christmas dinner this year? Chic-Ken is enough.
Why arent any schools allowed to put on a nativity this year? They couldnt find a stable building.
What impact will the 20mph speed limit in Wales have on the charts this year? Chris Rea will be driving home for Easter.
What happened to Mark Zuckerbergs novelty jumper when he had a cage fight with Elon Musk? He was left with nothing but Threads.
Whats the difference between The Polar Express and HS2? Ones a fantasy about a train and the others a film with Tom Hanks.
What did Robert Oppenheimer get Barbie for Christmas? Atomic Kenergy.
Why are the train drivers on the naughty list this year? Because theyve already had three strikes!
How does Margot Robbie decorate her Nativity scene? With 3 wise Ken.
The annual joke competition celebrates Golds seasonal TV scheduling, which includes classic festive episodes of Britains most-loved comedies such as Dads Army, Only Fools and Horses, The Vicar of Dibley and Keeping Up Appearances.
Comedy critic Bruce Dessau, who led the Gold judging panel, says,
Despite the tumultuous times of the past year, the British public has once again found the silver, or in this case gold, lining in some cheerful jokes. This years modern Christmas cracker jokes, spanning from cultural hit Barbenheimer and the misadventures of Parisian bed bugs, to seemingly never-ending strikes and terrible train woes, prove that we are a nation with an unwaveringly inventive sense of humour.
Gerald Casey, Gold channel director, says,
This year has witnessed a wealth of comedic talent in our competition, perfectly combining festive funnies and cultural moments of 2023. We hope this years jokes can provide a hearty laugh alongside Golds Christmas programming, including much-loved classic episodes and our new star-packed scripted comedy Blood Actually, the latest addition to Golds hugely popular Murder, They Hope series.
The author of the winning joke, Chris Douch aged (37) from Oxfordshire, received the top prize of £1,500 towards a holiday, a festive hamper, a box of bespoke Gold Christmas Crackers and a novelty turkey costume from Gold show Blood Actually: A Murder, They Hope Mystery as worn by Lee Mack.
The top six jokes are included within bespoke boxes of Golds Christmas crackers, which will be presented to this years winners.
All the jokes voted on by the British public are original content to the best of Golds knowledge.
Gold marks the festive season with brand new UKTV original Blood Actually: a Murder, They Hope mystery airing on the 16th December at 9pm. Fronted by Johnny Vegas and Sian Gibson, the special welcomes a whole host of special guests including Martin Kemp, Anita Dobson, Rose Ayling-Ellis, Lee Mack, Sherrie Hewson, Sarah Hadland to name a few. Catch up with the previous Murder, They Hope series on Sky and Virgin.
-
Further information please contact: Rosie Barker: rosie.barker@taylorherring.com
Notes for Editors:
About Gold
Dedicated to celebrating the best of British comedy, Gold is the nations favourite comedy channel. Classic British comedy series loved by all the family sit comfortably alongside new UKTV Original scripted comedies crafted by some of the nations finest comedic minds, such as Dads Army: The Lost Episodes, Murder, They Hope, The Cockfields and Sandylands. Meanwhile Golds unscripted series reunite the stars and partnerships of the nations best-loved shows to get to the heart of what makes them so evergreen - from passion projects such as French & Saunders: Funny Women, Billy Connolly Does..., Lenny Henrys Race Through Comedy and Ricky and Ralfs Very Northern Road Trip to the retrospective likes of dinnerladies diaries and The Fast Show: Just A Load of Blooming Catchphrases.
Gold is the perfect tonic to make you laugh whatever the time of day.
Gold.uktv.co.uk / @goldchannel
About UKTV
UKTV has been at the forefront of branded television for over 30 years, entertaining the nation with programmes they love. Its leading brands - Dave, Gold, W, Drama, Alibi, Eden and Yesterday - span comedy, entertainment, natural history, factual and scripted drama, and are delivered to audiences through UKTV Play, Freeview, Sky, Virgin Media, BT, TalkTalk, YouView, Freesat and Amazon Fire. The broadcaster is a significant investor in British creativity and is committed to working with new and established writers, directors and programme-makers.
UKTV is part of BBC Studios, the UKs most-awarded production company, a world
Europe Stories
05/01/2027
Worlds first 802.15.4ab-UWB chip verified by Calterah and Rohde & Schwarz to be ...
07/10/2026
Dalet, a leading technology and service provider for media-rich organizations, today announced the latest Long-Term Supported (LTS) release of Dalet Flex. Build...
06/09/2026
June 9 2026, 23:00 (PDT) Dolby and MagentaTV Bring Fans Closer to the FIFA Worl...
19/08/2026
Wednesday 19 August 2026
Sky gives sports fans the chance to watch multiple liv...
19/08/2026
On Saturday September 5 Katie Taylor will step into the ring for the fight of her life against Flora Pili in front of 80,000 fans in Croke Park. A legendary fig...
18/08/2026
Company launch with stereo-imaging tool
Panoramic is the debut release from Panorama Labs, a new company formed by mastering engineer Nicholas Di Lorenzo. C...
18/08/2026
Control software now available for older interfaces
Focusrite have just announced the launch of an update that extends Control 2 software support their Scar...
18/08/2026
Tuesday 18 August 2026
Sky Sports and The Fast and the Curious announce new partnership
Sky Sports and The Fast and the Curious have announced a new long-term...
18/08/2026
Wuppertal August 18, 2026
Riedel Brings Professional Live Production Into the Classrooms of ECURiedel Communications today announced that Edith Cowan Universi...
18/08/2026
Apple today announced changes to its business terms for apps in the European Uni...
18/08/2026
THE HEALY RAES: BLOOD, SWEAT & TEARS AIRS WEDNESDAY AUGUST 19 ON RT ONE AT 9:35PM
A new documentary The Healy-Raes: Blood, Sweat & Tears airs on RT One and ...
18/08/2026
Stunning Irish performances at European Athletics and Swimming Championships rea...
18/08/2026
The two-part series begins Sunday 23 August at 6.30pm on RT One and RT Player
...
17/08/2026
New MIDI processor & macro controller revealed
SHIK have announced that they have opened pre-orders for the S32, a standalone MIDI processor and macro contr...
17/08/2026
Cover extended on innovative motorised pot system
Melbourne Instruments have just revealed that the innovative motorised pot system used in their synths and...
17/08/2026
Latest firmware version now available
1010music have just released a free firmware update that brings some nice new features to their renowned Bluebox digit...
17/08/2026
Rohde & Schwarz showcases integrated defense and test solutions at DALO Industry...
17/08/2026
Calrec's ImPulseV Virtualised Audio Mixing Engine joins NEP Platform, the industry's largest ecosystem of trusted production software, bringing scalable...
17/08/2026
Visitors to IBC 2026 will see how FilmLight is reshaping the modern post pipelin...
17/08/2026
Visitors to Stand 1.C41 can explore innovations in areas such as addressable advertising, hybrid distribution, managed services and operational simplification.
...
16/08/2026
Virtual drummer joins line-up
The latest release from Gospel Musicians adds a virtual drummer to the company's line-up, combining a pair of meticulously...
15/08/2026
In-ear monitoring line-up gains new universal models
In-ear monitoring experts JH Audio have just announced a significant expansion of their Universal-Fit r...
14/08/2026
Latest instalment delivers disco-inspired grooves
The latest addition to UJAM's virtual drum line-up has been designed with contemporary pop, disco, dan...
14/08/2026
Elite range gains giant 24-inch powered sub
The latest expansion of Yorkville's Elite range introduces what the company say is the world's first act...
14/08/2026
Friday 14 August 2026
Breaking news! Sky releases trailer for The Paper, return...
14/08/2026
It's been one year since our client, Cotswolds Designer Outlet, opened its doors and we've loved seeing the scheme come to life. Together, we've hel...
13/08/2026
Company preview bio-interactive' synthesizer
VAEMI have announced the upcoming launch of a new standalone bio-interactive' generative synthesizer....
13/08/2026
Plug-in host gains new Slot Scenes feature
Ravine DSP have recently updated their innovative plug-in host, kitting it out with a new feature that brings yet...
13/08/2026
New U and U&W Documentary Features Kathleen Richards, One of the Last Surviving Witnesses to Fred and Rose West
Kathleen is Reunited with Childhood Friend and ...
13/08/2026
Thursday 13 August 2026
Official trailer released for the return of Tea with Ju...
13/08/2026
Dalet, a leading technology and service provider for media-rich organizations, t...
13/08/2026
Wenvoe serves over 1 million people across South Wales
13 August 2026, Winchester, UK - Vale of Glamorgan MP, Kanishka Narayan, has praised the engineering exp...
13/08/2026
RT 's Miriam O'Callaghan welcomed a range of specially invited guests to the National Concert Hall last week for a unique event to mark a new season wit...
13/08/2026
August 13 2026, 06:00 (PDT) Seattle Seahawks Become First Team to Bring Dolby O...
12/08/2026
Enhanced DAW & plug-in control for the UC1, UF8 and UF1
The software that powers SSL's range of control surfaces has just received a major update that d...
12/08/2026
In-line preamp features one-knob EQ
In addition to their range of in-line preamps, Triton Audio recently managed to squeeze a compressor into an enclosure t...
12/08/2026
Captures system audio with or without a DAW
Depending on your setup, capturing system audio in a DAW can be a tedious process, so much so that Arvital Audio...
12/08/2026
Comscore Reports Second Quarter 2026 ResultsRESTON, Va., August 12, 2026 Comscore, Inc. (Nasdaq: SCOR), a trusted partner for planning, transacting and evalu...
12/08/2026
NEW BOOKSHOP OPENING IN LONDON THAT OFFERS NEW IDENTITIES, NOT BOOKS, WITH FREE ...
12/08/2026
Brand-new trailer unveiled as Sky announces SNL UK ticket ballot will open on 14...
12/08/2026
Wednesday 12 August 2026
Sky Sports agrees deal to show Laver Cup from London's O2
Sky Sports has agreed a deal with Trident8 to show all three days of th...
12/08/2026
Wednesday 12 August 2026
Pre-order the new Google Pixel 11 range from today and...
11/08/2026
Free library captures pro classical string section
There's no shortage of freebies in The Crow Hill Company's line-up, with their Vaults series offe...
11/08/2026
Percussion instrument introduces all-new engine
Emergence Audio have just introduced an instrument that brings together a vast collection of percussive anal...
11/08/2026
Introduces new all-in-one Spatial Panner tool
Boris FX have recently announced the latest major update for their mastering and broadcast-focused DAW softwar...
11/08/2026
Rohde & Schwarz installs millimeter wave security scanners at Airports of Thaila...
11/08/2026
Comscore Announces ROI Strategy to Transform the Business Centers around three core objectives: Realign the Business, Optimize the Organization and Invest in Fu...
11/08/2026
Whether gamers are looking for high-octane action or a laid-back afternoon, Appl...
11/08/2026
Hosts D ith S and Kathryn Thomas rose to the occasion on Tuesday (August 11)...
5th December 2023 
