5th December 2023
TV channel Gold challenged the nation to come up with the best topical Christmas cracker jokes for annual competition - now in its 11th year.
The winning festive joke for 2023: Did you hear about the Christmas cake on display in the British Museum? It was Stollen.
Topics including Barbenheimer, transport strikes and Twitters rebrand to X also inspired the jolly dose of holiday humour this year.
A festive joke about a Christmas cake being stollen from the British Museum has been revealed as the winner of an annual competition to find the best new Christmas cracker gags.
Jokes about Barbie, Elon Musk and HS2 also feature in the list of festive funnies released today...
The winning jokes have been revealed by nations favourite comedy channel Gold as part of its annual festive competition (now in its eleventh year) to find the very best modern Christmas cracker jokes.
Gold challenged the British public to post their original festive gags to X (formerly Twitter), which were then shortlisted by a panel of judges and put to an anonymous public vote of 2,000 British adults.
Golds top 10 funniest new Christmas cracker jokes for 2023 are revealed as:
Did you hear about the Christmas cake on display in the British Museum? It was Stollen.
Why is Elon Musks Christmas dinner so awkward? He cant stop talking about his X.
Why isnt Barbie having turkey for Christmas dinner this year? Chic-Ken is enough.
Why arent any schools allowed to put on a nativity this year? They couldnt find a stable building.
What impact will the 20mph speed limit in Wales have on the charts this year? Chris Rea will be driving home for Easter.
What happened to Mark Zuckerbergs novelty jumper when he had a cage fight with Elon Musk? He was left with nothing but Threads.
Whats the difference between The Polar Express and HS2? Ones a fantasy about a train and the others a film with Tom Hanks.
What did Robert Oppenheimer get Barbie for Christmas? Atomic Kenergy.
Why are the train drivers on the naughty list this year? Because theyve already had three strikes!
How does Margot Robbie decorate her Nativity scene? With 3 wise Ken.
The annual joke competition celebrates Golds seasonal TV scheduling, which includes classic festive episodes of Britains most-loved comedies such as Dads Army, Only Fools and Horses, The Vicar of Dibley and Keeping Up Appearances.
Comedy critic Bruce Dessau, who led the Gold judging panel, says,
Despite the tumultuous times of the past year, the British public has once again found the silver, or in this case gold, lining in some cheerful jokes. This years modern Christmas cracker jokes, spanning from cultural hit Barbenheimer and the misadventures of Parisian bed bugs, to seemingly never-ending strikes and terrible train woes, prove that we are a nation with an unwaveringly inventive sense of humour.
Gerald Casey, Gold channel director, says,
This year has witnessed a wealth of comedic talent in our competition, perfectly combining festive funnies and cultural moments of 2023. We hope this years jokes can provide a hearty laugh alongside Golds Christmas programming, including much-loved classic episodes and our new star-packed scripted comedy Blood Actually, the latest addition to Golds hugely popular Murder, They Hope series.
The author of the winning joke, Chris Douch aged (37) from Oxfordshire, received the top prize of £1,500 towards a holiday, a festive hamper, a box of bespoke Gold Christmas Crackers and a novelty turkey costume from Gold show Blood Actually: A Murder, They Hope Mystery as worn by Lee Mack.
The top six jokes are included within bespoke boxes of Golds Christmas crackers, which will be presented to this years winners.
All the jokes voted on by the British public are original content to the best of Golds knowledge.
Gold marks the festive season with brand new UKTV original Blood Actually: a Murder, They Hope mystery airing on the 16th December at 9pm. Fronted by Johnny Vegas and Sian Gibson, the special welcomes a whole host of special guests including Martin Kemp, Anita Dobson, Rose Ayling-Ellis, Lee Mack, Sherrie Hewson, Sarah Hadland to name a few. Catch up with the previous Murder, They Hope series on Sky and Virgin.
-
Further information please contact: Rosie Barker: rosie.barker@taylorherring.com
Notes for Editors:
About Gold
Dedicated to celebrating the best of British comedy, Gold is the nations favourite comedy channel. Classic British comedy series loved by all the family sit comfortably alongside new UKTV Original scripted comedies crafted by some of the nations finest comedic minds, such as Dads Army: The Lost Episodes, Murder, They Hope, The Cockfields and Sandylands. Meanwhile Golds unscripted series reunite the stars and partnerships of the nations best-loved shows to get to the heart of what makes them so evergreen - from passion projects such as French & Saunders: Funny Women, Billy Connolly Does..., Lenny Henrys Race Through Comedy and Ricky and Ralfs Very Northern Road Trip to the retrospective likes of dinnerladies diaries and The Fast Show: Just A Load of Blooming Catchphrases.
Gold is the perfect tonic to make you laugh whatever the time of day.
Gold.uktv.co.uk / @goldchannel
About UKTV
UKTV has been at the forefront of branded television for over 30 years, entertaining the nation with programmes they love. Its leading brands - Dave, Gold, W, Drama, Alibi, Eden and Yesterday - span comedy, entertainment, natural history, factual and scripted drama, and are delivered to audiences through UKTV Play, Freeview, Sky, Virgin Media, BT, TalkTalk, YouView, Freesat and Amazon Fire. The broadcaster is a significant investor in British creativity and is committed to working with new and established writers, directors and programme-makers.
UKTV is part of BBC Studios, the UKs most-awarded production company, a world
Europe Stories
05/01/2027
Worlds first 802.15.4ab-UWB chip verified by Calterah and Rohde & Schwarz to be ...
07/10/2026
Dalet, a leading technology and service provider for media-rich organizations, today announced the latest Long-Term Supported (LTS) release of Dalet Flex. Build...
06/09/2026
June 9 2026, 23:00 (PDT) Dolby and MagentaTV Bring Fans Closer to the FIFA Worl...
04/08/2026
Dalet, a leading technology and service provider for media-rich organizations, t...
28/07/2026
Baxandall-inspired hardware EQ overhauled
TK Audio's Baxandall-inspired hardware EQ unit has just made a return, bringing the popular unit back into the...
28/07/2026
D700 system gains new live-focused rackmount surface
Asparion have just announced an expansion of their D700 control surface range, introducing a new model ...
28/07/2026
Contribution to Europe's technological autonomy in the key industry telecommunications
aconnic AG (ISIN: DE000A0LBKW6), Munich, starts commercial shipments...
28/07/2026
Tuesday 28 July 2026
Football is back on Sky Sports following its most watched ...
28/07/2026
RT Raidi na Gaeltachta, RT Radio 1, RT One and RT Player to showcase the best of the reels, rhymes and rambles from Comhaltas Fleadh Cheoil na h ireann 202...
28/07/2026
Through a wide range of perspectives, this documentary looks at how Ireland might navigate one of the defining political questions of the future
Wednesday, Jul...
27/07/2026
New app turns vocal percussion into polished loops
Vochlea, the company behind the voice-to-MIDI instrument Dubler 2, have just announced the launch of a ne...
27/07/2026
Latest MPE-capable instrument completes Pure Trilogy line-up
Sonora Cinematic have just released the third and final instalment in their series of acoustic ...
27/07/2026
Emulates four varieties of optical compression
The latest addition to the fedDSP line-up has just been announced, and packs four distinct optical compressor...
27/07/2026
Optical & FET compressors join 500-series line-up
At our recent GearExpo UK show, we heard from Drawmer that they would soon be launching a pair of new 500-...
27/07/2026
All episodes available Thursday 6 August on Sky and streaming service NOWMonday ...
27/07/2026
Apple today announced AppleCare One - a new way for customers to protect multipl...
27/07/2026
Yesterday witnessed truly memorable scenes in Croke Park, bringing the curtain d...
27/07/2026
Luxembourg, July 27, 2026 - SES, a leading space solutions company, issued the following statement following the U.S. Federal Communications Commission approval...
25/07/2026
New app turns vocal percussion into polished loops
Vochlea, the company behind the voice-to-MIDI instrument Dubler 2, have just announced the launch of a ne...
25/07/2026
Saturday 25 July 2026
First look revealed for YAGA, a seductive mystery thrille...
24/07/2026
First string library captured at Studio Richter Mahr
The latest sample library to be created at Max Richter's Studio Richter Mahr facility captures the ...
24/07/2026
Official emulation of Blackbird Studios reverb chamber
In their latest collaboration with Blackbird Studios, KIT Plugins have captured the sound of the Stud...
24/07/2026
Angela Gomez brings over 14 years of experience in broadcast communications and audio engineering, specialising in live outside broadcasts, live sports and larg...
24/07/2026
Article courtesy of postPerspective
Read the article
While Toy Story 5 maintai...
24/07/2026
Kerry and Mayo fans Up For The Match as excitement builds in Croke Park on the e...
23/07/2026
Staines-upon-Thames, UK, 23rd, JULY, 2026 - Yospace, the trusted leader in Dynamic Ad Insertion (DAI), stitched 11.57 billion one-to-one addressable advertisem...
23/07/2026
Quickly creates reverse reverb effects
Low End Candy have recently released a new plug-in that offers a quick and simple way to create reverse reverb effect...
23/07/2026
New engines, resonators, effects & more
Expressive E's versatile soft synth has just been treated to an update that greatly expands its sonic range. Noi...
23/07/2026
SGL Carbon has further expanded its photovoltaic capacity at its Ort im Innkreis site in Austria. With the commissioning of new PV carports, the sites solar sys...
23/07/2026
Rohde & Schwarz presents new software for three-phase power analysis on MXO seri...
23/07/2026
In our latest blog, Laura Rognoni explores how the launch of Play Snooker reflects a wider shift in sports economics - from monetising peak broadcast audiences ...
23/07/2026
Download Now!
To receive a short case study showcasing Vivid Broadcast's audio setup, please enter the following details:
--
First Name* First Name ...
23/07/2026
X-Rite Pantone and Fashion Institute of Technology (FIT) Partner to Advance Digi...
23/07/2026
Thursday 23 July 2026
New Samsung Galaxy Foldable range available now to pre-order on Sky Mobile
Sky Mobile, the award-winning network voted this year by Expe...
23/07/2026
Thursday 23 July 2026
Jason Statham leads Sky Original action thriller MUTINY in explosive new trailerTurn on cookies to view this content. Go to Privacy optio...
23/07/2026
Wuppertal July 23, 2026
Riedel Implements RefCam and Easy5G for the First Time...
23/07/2026
RT Commercial has today announced Centra as the official food partner once again of The Traitors Ireland, coming to RT One and RT Player later this year.
Ce...
23/07/2026
RT Commercial today announced Honda as sponsor of Today with David McCullagh RT Radio 1, weekdays 9am 11am.
Broadcasting directly after Morning Ireland in ...
23/07/2026
RT News is pleased to announce Barry Gallagher has been assigned as the new journalist covering news from Cork, Kerry and the wider Southern region
Working al...
22/07/2026
Library now available in Engine Player
Another of Eduardo Tarilonte's popular sample libraries has just been moved over to Engine Audio's Engine Pla...
22/07/2026
All-in-one mic & DSP interface overhauled
Cloudvocal have just refreshed the design of their all-in-one mic, audio interface and DSP processor, introducing ...
22/07/2026
The final boss of the lost dual-op-amp circuit
Electro-Harmonix have just introduced the Deluxe Big Muff Pi 2, which they say offers their latest take on t...
22/07/2026
eds3_5_jq(document).ready(function($) { $(#eds_sliderM519).chameleonSlider_2_1({ content_source:......
22/07/2026
A poisoned spy, a secret war, and a small English city contaminated by a deadly chemical weapon. Available on Sky Documentaries from 4 AugustWednesday 22 July 2...
22/07/2026
Audio at Parity: Comscore Launches Transcript-Level Targeting and Measurement wi...
22/07/2026
Arvato Systems and Lobster Enter into a Partnership and Combine the Integration Platform and Managed Services
Flexible integration solutions for cloud, hybrid...
22/07/2026
RT REPORTS NET SURPLUS OF 22.5 MILLION IN 2025...
22/07/2026
In the Opinion of the Censor airs Monday 27 July at 9.35pm on RT One and RT Player
In the Opinion of the Censor looks at how films for theatrical release wer...
21/07/2026
New research involving a cross-section of Mongolias independent media landscape finds enthusiasm for AI as a tool to improve efficiency, sustainability and resi...
5th December 2023 
