Hey you - yeah, you. I'd like to talk with you. It's me, don't you recognize me? The shred guy! I know, I'm not one of your big flashy providers that serves ice cream or comes in a dazzling array of colors or even gives you extra whiteners (whatever those really are). But I do take your documents to their final resting place - kind of like the undertaker of the paper world. So when you pass me by in haste to go see what new flavors of coffee your cafeteria service is offering that's O.K., I'm used to it. I'm not fun, I'm not entertaining and I don't give frequent shredding program points. Fine - it doesn't bother me. Well, maybe it does bother me a little.
Maybe you think I'm just like a specialized type of trash collection service? I have a trash service at home. Every Thursday I put my big trash bin outside on the street. Sometime during the day someone mysteriously shows up and empties it. But the thing is, they always seem to leave a few pieces of trash on the street or my lawn around the bin. A banana peel that slipped out of the bin (get it? It slipped never mind), a plastic bag that blew away when they were dumping the bin, a piece of paper that fell out of the truck. Hey, no big deal, I just pick that stuff up when I go to get my trash bin and bring it back inside (unless it has already been blown onto my neighbor's yard in which case I just pretend it wasn't mine). And did I mention that as often as not the bin is left on its side or even upside down? Of course, if it is raining the bin is always right-side up but with the lid left open so it can fill up with water. How about if we did that with your shred bins? Wouldn't like that so much, would you? Didn't think so.
And sure we mix your documents up with thousands of other documents and push them around with construction equipment in the plant, but we do it all with love and respect. These documents have served you well in life and they deserve a little respect in death as well. Don't forget them now just because you've moved on and no longer need them. They were there for you in your time of need, all crisp and white with nicely contrasting black printing. Charts, tables, paragraphs the Shakespeare of the business world. Keep a little place in your heart to remember these fallen soldiers on the front line of your endless business battles. We salute and honor them even as we are chopping them up into itsy bitsy pieces and smooshing them into big bales to be recycled. But we do it all respectfully, as we should. You may have forgotten about them, but we never will.
Oh - another thing - I'm not just another one of your dirty businesses going about, chewing up natural resources. That green tint to my face? That's not the questionable leftover shrimp scampi that I really shouldn't have brought home from the restaurant and then let sit in the car while I went to the movies last night. Or was it three nights ago? No, that green tint is because I'm getting more environmentally friendly every day in every way. That paper that you thought had hit the end of the road? After pushing and ripping and crushing I have it recycled! Yeah, that's right, you thought you had said goodbye to it forever and now it turns out its back again hanging out in the bathroom or sneaking back into your office disguised as the liner on that box of pens you had delivered yesterday. Yup - turns out there definitely is an afterlife, at least for paper.
So yeah, I'm just the shred guy. That's all, no big deal. Don't pay any attention to me. I'm not selling the latest iPhone, and I won't help make your smile a dazzling white or your breath minty fresh. But you still need me - even if you make me come in through the back door. Because I make your world just a little bit safer, your customers a little bit more confident and your job just a little bit easier. And really, that's all the recognition I need and all the thanks I want. On the other hand, an occasional plate of cookies wouldn't be such a bad thing either
Most recent headlines
01/01/2026
Latin Grammy Cultural Foundation Announces 2026 Noel Schajris Scholarship The scholarship will cover tuition and housing for one Berklee College of Music stud...
01/01/2026
New year, new games, all with RTX 5080-powered cloud energy. GeForce NOW is kicking off 2026 by looking back at an unforgettable year of wins and wildly high fr...
31/12/2025
Back to All News
NFL Christmas Gameday on Netflix Scores Again With the Lions-V...
30/12/2025
As the College Football Playoff Enters the Quarterfinals, ESPN Blows Out Its Meg...
30/12/2025
SVG's Best of 2025: Original ArticlesTake a look back at all our coverage of big-time productions, game-changing technologies, and state-of-the-art new faci...
30/12/2025
MELBOURNE, Fla., Dec. 30, 2025 - L3Harris Technologies (NYSE: LHX) will release its fourth quarter 2025 financial results before the market opens on Thursday, J...
30/12/2025
Share Share by:
Copy link
Facebook
X
Whatsapp
Pinterest
Flipboard...
30/12/2025
It marked the first civilian operational authorization for a HAPS flight in Europe, led by Space42's subsidiary, Mira Aerospace
The flight demonstrated HAP...
29/12/2025
San Francisco 49ers Strike Gold With Halftime Laser SpectacularStunning display caps $200 million renovation of Levi's Stadium techBy Dan Daley, Audio Edito...
29/12/2025
The Cup's Around the Corner: An Inside Look at Broadcast Preparations for th...
29/12/2025
SVG's Best of 2025: Longform VideoWatch the standout keynote conversations, deep dives, and panel discussions from the year for free on SVG PLAY!By Brandon ...
29/12/2025
From crisper Lossless audio and immersive music videos in beta to new Audiobooks+ plans, custom transitions between tracks, and in-app Messages, we keep levelin...
29/12/2025
Share Share by:
Copy link
Facebook
X
Whatsapp
Pinterest
Flipboard...
27/12/2025
Share Share by:
Copy link
Facebook
X
Whatsapp
Pinterest
Flipboard...
26/12/2025
Share Share by:
Copy link
Facebook
X
Whatsapp
Pinterest
Flipboard...
26/12/2025
Share Share by:
Copy link
Facebook
X
Whatsapp
Pinterest
Flipboard...
25/12/2025
Holiday lights are twinkling, hot cocoa's on the stove and gamers are settling in for a well-earned break.
Whether staying in or heading on a winter getawa...
24/12/2025
What is AI good for? Posted by MTI Film on December 24, 2025
What is AI good for?
What is AI good for?
It's been three years since ChatGPT first cap...
24/12/2025
Share Share by:
Copy link
Facebook
X
Whatsapp
Pinterest
Flipboard...
24/12/2025
Share Share by:
Copy link
Facebook
X
Whatsapp
Pinterest
Flipboard...
24/12/2025
Share Share by:
Copy link
Facebook
X
Whatsapp
Pinterest
Flipboard...
24/12/2025
Share Share by:
Copy link
Facebook
X
Whatsapp
Pinterest
Flipboard...
24/12/2025
Share Share by:
Copy link
Facebook
X
Whatsapp
Pinterest
Flipboard...
24/12/2025
Back to All News
The Boyfriend' Season 2 Unveils Heartwarming Trailer, Key...
24/12/2025
Back to All News
Love, Fights, and Everything in Between: Badly in Love' Returns for Season 2
Entertainment
24 December 2025
GlobalJapan
Link copied t...
24/12/2025
Scripps Research study links sleep variability with sleep apnea and hypertension How consumers' digital activity trackers could enable personalized health s...
23/12/2025
How guilas Cibae as Dominican Winter League Games Are Locally Produced for Glob...
23/12/2025
BitFire's Jim Akimchuk on Supplying Scalability and Customization in the Clo...
23/12/2025
CAMB.AI Enables European Athletics to Offer Multi-Language SupportPlan is to eventually offer translation into all languages spoken in EuropeBy Ken Kerschbaumer...
23/12/2025
Analysis: As sports media values trend negative, scarcity and quality are king By Callum McCarthy, Editor-at-Large
Monday, December 22, 2025 - 14:08
Print ...
23/12/2025
ESPN, Disney, and NBA Return to the Animated Altcast Fray With Second Edition of...
23/12/2025
End the Year on a High Note and Donate to the Sports Broadcasting Fund Today!By Ken Kerschbaumer, Editorial Director
Tuesday, December 23, 2025 - 12:25 pm
P...
23/12/2025
The year is winding down, the weather outside is frightful, and it's the perfect time to escape into a story that warms the heart. For listeners looking for...
23/12/2025
A Zeus motor is hot fire tested at L3Harris' Camden, Arkansas, solid rocket ...
23/12/2025
Share Share by:
Copy link
Facebook
X
Whatsapp
Pinterest
Flipboard...
23/12/2025
Share Share by:
Copy link
Facebook
X
Whatsapp
Pinterest
Flipboard...
23/12/2025
Lightware will exhibit several major product innovations at ISE 2026, including the new USB-C BOOSTER-V1, Google Meet. integration for various Taurus UCX models...
23/12/2025
Share Share by:
Copy link
Facebook
X
Whatsapp
Pinterest
Flipboard...
23/12/2025
Share Share by:
Copy link
Facebook
X
Whatsapp
Pinterest
Flipboard...
23/12/2025
Share Share by:
Copy link
Facebook
X
Whatsapp
Pinterest
Flipboard...
23/12/2025
Share Share by:
Copy link
Facebook
X
Whatsapp
Pinterest
Flipboard...
23/12/2025
Share Share by:
Copy link
Facebook
X
Whatsapp
Pinterest
Flipboard...
23/12/2025
Taking the Stage at Carnegie Hall-On a Global Scale Boston Conservatory Orchestra students reflect on their epic concert marking the 80th session of the UN Gene...
23/12/2025
Back to All News
Netflix's The Great Flood and Culinary Class Wars 2 Top Gl...
23/12/2025
Back to All News
Stranger Things By the Numbers: How the Global Phenomenon Shap...
23/12/2025
Experience the power of WO Automation for Radio's newest service, the System Effectiveness Review. Designed to help you achieve more, a System Effectiveness...
23/12/2025
23 Dec 2025
VEON's Beeline Kazakhstan and Rakuten Symphony Collaborate to A...
23/12/2025
Back to All News
How Steamy Can It Get? Single's Inferno' Season 5 Pre...
23/12/2025
Back to All News
33 Million Global Viewers on Netflix Watched Jake Paul vs. Ant...
Hey you - yeah, you. I'd like to talk with you. It's me, don't you recognize me? The shred guy! I know, I'm not one of your big flashy providers that serves ice cream or comes in a dazzling array of colors or even gives you extra whiteners (whatever those really are). But I do take your documents to their final resting place - kind of like the undertaker of the paper world. So when you pass me by in haste to go see what new flavors of coffee your cafeteria service is offering that's O.K., I'm used to it. I'm not fun, I'm not entertaining and I don't give frequent shredding program points. Fine - it doesn't bother me. Well, maybe it does bother me a little.
