Hey you - yeah, you. I'd like to talk with you. It's me, don't you recognize me? The shred guy! I know, I'm not one of your big flashy providers that serves ice cream or comes in a dazzling array of colors or even gives you extra whiteners (whatever those really are). But I do take your documents to their final resting place - kind of like the undertaker of the paper world. So when you pass me by in haste to go see what new flavors of coffee your cafeteria service is offering that's O.K., I'm used to it. I'm not fun, I'm not entertaining and I don't give frequent shredding program points. Fine - it doesn't bother me. Well, maybe it does bother me a little.
Maybe you think I'm just like a specialized type of trash collection service? I have a trash service at home. Every Thursday I put my big trash bin outside on the street. Sometime during the day someone mysteriously shows up and empties it. But the thing is, they always seem to leave a few pieces of trash on the street or my lawn around the bin. A banana peel that slipped out of the bin (get it? It slipped never mind), a plastic bag that blew away when they were dumping the bin, a piece of paper that fell out of the truck. Hey, no big deal, I just pick that stuff up when I go to get my trash bin and bring it back inside (unless it has already been blown onto my neighbor's yard in which case I just pretend it wasn't mine). And did I mention that as often as not the bin is left on its side or even upside down? Of course, if it is raining the bin is always right-side up but with the lid left open so it can fill up with water. How about if we did that with your shred bins? Wouldn't like that so much, would you? Didn't think so.
And sure we mix your documents up with thousands of other documents and push them around with construction equipment in the plant, but we do it all with love and respect. These documents have served you well in life and they deserve a little respect in death as well. Don't forget them now just because you've moved on and no longer need them. They were there for you in your time of need, all crisp and white with nicely contrasting black printing. Charts, tables, paragraphs the Shakespeare of the business world. Keep a little place in your heart to remember these fallen soldiers on the front line of your endless business battles. We salute and honor them even as we are chopping them up into itsy bitsy pieces and smooshing them into big bales to be recycled. But we do it all respectfully, as we should. You may have forgotten about them, but we never will.
Oh - another thing - I'm not just another one of your dirty businesses going about, chewing up natural resources. That green tint to my face? That's not the questionable leftover shrimp scampi that I really shouldn't have brought home from the restaurant and then let sit in the car while I went to the movies last night. Or was it three nights ago? No, that green tint is because I'm getting more environmentally friendly every day in every way. That paper that you thought had hit the end of the road? After pushing and ripping and crushing I have it recycled! Yeah, that's right, you thought you had said goodbye to it forever and now it turns out its back again hanging out in the bathroom or sneaking back into your office disguised as the liner on that box of pens you had delivered yesterday. Yup - turns out there definitely is an afterlife, at least for paper.
So yeah, I'm just the shred guy. That's all, no big deal. Don't pay any attention to me. I'm not selling the latest iPhone, and I won't help make your smile a dazzling white or your breath minty fresh. But you still need me - even if you make me come in through the back door. Because I make your world just a little bit safer, your customers a little bit more confident and your job just a little bit easier. And really, that's all the recognition I need and all the thanks I want. On the other hand, an occasional plate of cookies wouldn't be such a bad thing either
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Hey you - yeah, you. I'd like to talk with you. It's me, don't you recognize me? The shred guy! I know, I'm not one of your big flashy providers that serves ice cream or comes in a dazzling array of colors or even gives you extra whiteners (whatever those really are). But I do take your documents to their final resting place - kind of like the undertaker of the paper world. So when you pass me by in haste to go see what new flavors of coffee your cafeteria service is offering that's O.K., I'm used to it. I'm not fun, I'm not entertaining and I don't give frequent shredding program points. Fine - it doesn't bother me. Well, maybe it does bother me a little.
