A classic quip from The Mrs Merton Show has been awarded the accolade of best put down from a British TV show according to results from a new survey released today.
The brazen put-down from Mrs Merton, played by Caroline Aherne, was directed at Debbie McGee and won 37% of the vote:
Mrs Merton to Debbie McGee
So what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?
The survey, commissioned to mark the launch of Blackadder on UKTV Play, polled 2,000 Brits to identify the greatest put downs from British TV shows. Wheeler-dealer Del Boy, came in close second with a sharp-witted one-liner expertly delivered by David Jason, attracting a third of votes (32%):
Del Boy
Dear old grandad, bless him. He was about as useful as a pair of sunglasses on a bloke with one ear.
Notorious for his disparaging style, Edmund Blackadder grabbed the third spot with a quip to Baldrick earning him 31% of the vote:
Edmund Blackadder
Your brain, for example, is so minute Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldnt be enough to cover a small water biscuit.
These cunningly crafted put downs helped cement Blackadder as the king of snubs, securing the shows character four spots in the top 20.
Del Boy (32%), Captain Mainwaring (29%) and Basil Fawlty (28%) also feature highly with their carefully crafted pithy put downs while Ab Fabs witty wordsmith Patsy Stone came in sixth (26%).
One Foot in the Graves Margaret Meldrew rounded up the top 10 with a cheeky swipe at her husband Victor taking 21% of the vote.
Top 20 put downs from British TV shows are as follows:
Mrs Merton, to Debbie McGee (The Mrs Merton Show): So what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels? (37%)
Del Boy (Only Fools and Horses): Dear old grandad, bless him. He was about as useful as a pair of sunglasses on a bloke with one ear (32%)
Edmund Blackadder (Blackadder): Your brain, for example, is so minute Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldnt be enough to cover a small water biscuit. (31%)
Captain Mainwaring (Dads Army): You stupid boy! (29%)
Basil Fawlty (Fawlty Towers): Oh dear, what happened? Did you get entangled in the eiderdown again? Not enough cream in your clair? Hmm? Or did you have to talk to all your friends for so long that you didnt have time to perm your ears? (28%) - available on UKTV Play
Patsy Stone (Absolutely Fabulous): I told her the only thing she looked good in was a body bag (26%)
Del Boy (Only Fools and Horses): Look at grandad. His brain went years ago, now his legs have gone. Theres only the middle bit of him left! (24%)
Sherlock Holmes (Sherlock): Dont talk out loud, you lower the IQ of the whole street (23%)
Father Ted (Father Ted): Dougal, is there anything on your mind? Let me rephrase that... (23%)
Margaret Meldrew (One Foot in the Grave): [On Victor] Hes the most sensitive person Ive ever met, and thats why I love him and why I constantly want to ram his head through a television screen. (21%)
Edmund Blackadder (Blackadder): The eyes are open, the mouth moves but Mr Brain has long since departed, hasnt he, Percy? (19%)
Jim Royle (The Royle Family): Norma: Is this hat too far forward? Jim: No, we can still see your face (17%)
Patsy Stone (Absolutely Fabulous): One more facelift on this one and shell have a beard (17%)
Alan Partridge (Im Alan Partridge): Would it be terribly rude to stop listening to you and speak to somebody else? (16%)
Edmund Blackadder (Blackadder): Now, the sort of person were looking for is an aggressive lout with the intelligence of a four-year-old and the sexual sophistication of a donkey. (13%)
Violet Crawley (Downton Abbey): [To Lady Cora about her American mother] Im so looking forward to seeing your mother again. When Im with her, Im reminded of the virtues of the English (10%)
Will (The Inbetweeners): A few years ago I went to see King Kong at the cinema, now Im on a date with her (9%)
Edmund Blackadder (Blackadder): Even when we were babies, I had to show you which bit of your mother was serving the drinks (8%)
Maurice Moss (IT Crowd): >I can see why shes divorced, shes very divorceable. As soon as you meet her you cant wait to take her to court to get rid of her (8%)
Victor Meldrew (One Foot in the Grave): Its like hiring a man-eating a shark as your childrens swimming instructor (7%) - Available on UKTV Play
Sixty-six percent of those surveyed thought that sharp tongued one-liners are something Brits have mastered, while 80% also felt that humour was more important than aggression when it comes to crafting the perfect put-down.
The findings celebrate the release of all four series of Blackadder on uktvplay.co.uk, the free TV catch up service, and is the first time every insult-laden episode from all four series has been made available on demand for everyone to enjoy.
About UKTV Play UKTV Play is the fast-growing on demand TV service where you can watch the TV shows you love from Dave, Yesterday, Really and Drama wherever you want, whenever you want. The good news? We love them too.
Love digging into history or laughing out loud to new, British comedy you cant see anywhere else? So do we. Enjoy an engrossing, nail-biting true crime story or powerful real life documentaries? No problem. In the mood to luxuriate in a decadent period drama or hang on the edge of your seat during a pulsating crime drama? Were with you. Theres so much brilliant TV on UKTV Play - Taskmaster, Red Dwarf, Alan Davies: As Yet Untitled, Zapped, Suits, Crackanory, Dara O Briains Go 8 Bit, Most Haunted, New Tricks, Pride and Prejudice, Call The Midwife, The Bill and Birds of a Feather - to name a few, so youll never be stuck for something to watch.
With the UKTV Play app you can stream your favourite TV for free via your computer, tablet or smart phone. It has never been easier to watch the things
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A classic quip from The Mrs Merton Show has been awarded the accolade of best put down from a British TV show according to results from a new survey released today. 
