Top 10 Modern Christmas Cracker Jokes Revealed

Tuesday 10th December 2019

The winning festive joke: Why does Donald Trump have his Christmas dinner on a plastic plate? He doesnt get on with china.

TV channel Gold challenged the nation to come up with the best topical Christmas cracker jokes for the seventh year running

Puns about Love Island, Parliament, The Crown and carbon emissions also got the country giggling

A joke about US President Donald Trump has been revealed as the winner of a national competition to come up with the best new modern Christmas cracker joke.

Other topical moments in 2019s news agenda have been used as material for the top 10 festive funnies, including Love Island, the war of the WAGs, TV series The Crown and gaffes from politicians including Jeremy Corbyn and David Cameron.

Now in its seventh year, the jokes are the winners of an annual festive competition run by TV channel Gold, which challenges the British public to come up with the best topical and modern Christmas cracker jokes, then voted for by the British public.

The Top 10 funniest new Christmas cracker jokes for 2019 are revealed as:

Why does Donald Trump have his Christmas dinner on a plastic plate? He doesnt get on with china.

Why is Parliament like ancient Bethlehem? It takes a miracle to find three wise men there.

Christmas dinner is a lot like Brexit. Half the family were told they needed to make room for Turkey, so opted to leave Brussels.

Why has Santa been banned from sooty chimneys? Carbon footprints.

What is Coleen Rooneys favourite game to play over the festive period? Guess Who.

Why doesnt Jeremy Corbyn ever visit Santa? Because he struggles in the poles.

Why is Greta Thunberg boycotting parsnips and carrots at Christmas? Because shes a swede dish campaigner.

Whats the difference between Rudolphs nose and David Camerons autobiography? Only one will be red at Christmas.

What do you call a snowman who goes on Love Island? A melt.

What is Olivia Colmans favourite part of a turkey? The Crown.

For the seventh year running, Gold, challenged the British public to tweet original festive gags for the competition. Entries were shortlisted by a panel of judges - led by comedy critic Bruce Dessau - and put to an anonymous public vote of 2,000 British adults to reveal the winning jokes. The top six jokes are included within bespoke boxes of Golds Christmas crackers*, which were presented to this years winners.

The annual joke competition celebrates Golds seasonal TV scheduling, which includes classic festive episodes of Britains best loved comedies such as The Vicar of Dibley, The Royle Family and Mrs Browns Boys. UKTV Originals on Gold this year include Dial M For Middlesbrough, Lenny Henrys Race Through Comedy, The Cockfields and Trust Morecambe & Wise.

Comedy critic Bruce Dessau, who led the Gold judging panel, says:

Amongst the political turmoil that seems to have swamped our country this year, we can always rely on British humour to pull us through. With subjects ranging from Brexit and Love Island, to Greta Thunberg and Coleen Rooney, there are jokes here to tickle even the biggest of scrooges.

Gerald Casey, Gold channel director, says:

The festive period is a time for reflection on the year, and although weve certainly had our ups and downs, its incredible to see that British wit remains as sharp as ever.

The author of the winning joke received £1,500 towards a holiday and a box of bespoke Gold Christmas Crackers, one of which will contain his own top gag.

All of the jokes voted on by the 2,000 British public are original content to the best of Golds knowledge.

Gold is showing festive comedy favourites every night throughout December _

Notes for Editors: Further information please contact: Lily Rutherford - LR@taylorherring.com or Caitlin Marsh - caitlin.marsh@taylorherring.com Taylor Herring PR / 0208 2065151

* All materials used in both the box and crackers, other than the cracker ribbons (which are made from recycled plastics), are fully recyclable. The ribbon can be reused as a tree decoration, Christmas card hangers, bookmarks, gift wrap or even festive wrist-wear.

Survey information The Gold poll of 2,000 Brits was carried out to highlight Golds festive programming which shows festive TV favourites every evening in the run up to Christmas.

The survey was carried out on behalf of Gold by 3Gem in November 2019. 2,000 British adults picked their top five favourite jokes from the shortlist judged by a panel of Gold judges.

All of the jokes voted on by the 2,000 British adults are original content to the best of Golds knowledge. The top 20 jokes are as followed:

Why does Donald Trump have his Christmas dinner on a plastic plate? He doesnt get on with china.

Why is parliament like ancient Bethlehem? It takes a miracle to find three wise men there.

Christmas dinner is a lot like Brexit. Half the family were told they needed to make room for Turkey, so opted to leave Brussels.

Why has Santa been banned from sooty chimneys? Carbon footprints

What is Coleen Rooneys favourite game to play over the festive period?...Guess Who

Why doesnt Jeremy Corbyn ever visit Santa? Because he struggles in the poles.

Why is Greta Thunberg boycotting parsnips and carrots at Christmas? Because shes a swede dish campaigner.

Whats the difference between Rudolphs nose and David Camerons autobiography? Only one will be red at Christmas.

What do you call a snowman who goes on Love Island?....a melt.

What is Olivia Colmans favourite part of a turkey? The Crown.

What do The Sound of Music at Christmas and Nigel Farage have in common? Only a small cult following want to see it, but it just keeps coming back repeating itself.

What is a Brexiteers favourite festive movie? The Nightmare Before Christmas.

Why couldnt Rebekah Vardy join Colleen Rooneys social media Nativity? Because there was no room at the Innstagram.

How d

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